a loss of feeling
a euphoria of nothing
my chest is still breathing
but my heart is not beating
the birds they are singing
but I am not hearing
the strangers are walking
my eyes are not seeing
their mouths are moving
their steps are corresponding
the rain it is pouring
and the sun it is hiding
my head is blurring
the sounds are slurring
slowly I am drifting
the pictures are repeating
soon it is thinking
of what once was living
before this loss of feeling

I met love
within, above
filled and full
hushed and still
sun rise
birds fly
sky so blue
love so true
with love I met
with love I wept
love abide
love inside
the love of me and you

my eyes hazy, my words a slur
my tongue lazy, my sight a blur
my head a buzz, my heart distraught
my voice a hush, my mind a wrought
Come save, quick! Make haste!
From the grave, the blood I taste
No more tears, wounds soon healed
All fears, so soon revealed
my lips are lifted, my brow upright
my spirit gifted, my wings in flight
my soul esteemed, my body behind
my life redeemed, my heart enshrined

My fists are clenched
held to my chest
  unending fear
   proximately near
    to the space containing my breath

My knuckles white
my skin drawn tight
  the veins they pop
   composure stops
    the tears roll further in the night

A spot on the wall
to give it my all
  the hole is wide
   just like inside
    the rift in my chest filled with gall

The moment gone
the distance long
  time passes quick
   my eyes are tricked
    what I once thought truth is now wrong

You are the key
come set me free
  uncage my wings
   my heart may sing
    the song it sang when you met me

The lights are dark
without the spark
  of embers alive
   nor hearts to thrive
    no more dreams for us to embark.

My Fists Are Clenched.

of the clouds I counted
of skies poured a fountain
their shine and their luster
couldn't start to muster
a glow as bright as yours

a blue not once been seen
a white not brighter gleamed
colors domain in sky
of where angels do lie
all dulled by you once seen

no heart quite so shining
no glare quite so binding
a stare spectacular
from eyes galactical
like planets etched at night

count it an act of luck
of stars I did pluck
two bright, shining marvels
thereafter who sparkle
at my own dismal skies

the glorious morning, of birds performing
        the sun's rise, a beautiful prize
a drop of dew,
                dripping in view
to awaken my eyes.

a gift of sorts, of moments too short
        of reds and blues, and yellows and hues
beauty perfected,
                the sun resurrected
to remind me of you.

all he wanted was a bit of love
all he desired was a hand to touch
despondent and defective
a short-lived intrepid
his journey given up on.

You know
I actually
kind of hated you
for a little but
when I saw you
in my dreams
I realized
that there was no one who
I could ever
hate as much as you
because
the love I have for you
makes me regret
every second
I took for granted

and when
I try to remember
those days we would spend together
I only see
your hair
but not your face
when I reach out to you
you somehow
manage to elude
my gaze to yours
and I only see
the remnants of something
that should have been

You walked
not further from me
but closer
and you stood there
you keep standing there
and whenever I try
to get the slightest bit closer
you dissipate
into the most beautiful
and haunting mist
I've ever
attempted to grasp.