I... Um
I am...
Ahem,
(Mumbles) -Uncomfortable
Matt... I am Matt

So, I'm stood in front of you
And you're looking at me
And I'm talking to you
And you're listening to me
And your eyes are on me
And your minds are on me
Looking at me and listening to me and eyes on me and minds on me
And I'm thinking about what you think about me
And now I feel awkward
So I'm not coming forward
My movements seem backward
So, now you feel awkward
About drawing toward
Because I'm afraid I won't get the reward
Of your praise

So you're going to be polite!!!
Don't be polite!
I hate when you're polite, because I won't believe it!
It's not real praise so it doesn't MEAN ****
It's not much better than telling me I'm ****
But don't tell me I'm ****!
Please!! I can't take it!

So, now you're just getting bored and frustrated
Listening to me talking about feelings I've debated

I want to get off
I want to get out
I also want you to clap
And I want you to shout

So I'm tense and I'm nervous and we're all feeling scared
About if this rhymes good enough to convince me you cared

And then I fell over

A seed
A son
He grows
He flowers
He blossoms
He bears his fruit

"See ya mum, dad! I'm off out for a drive!"
"No drinking flower!"
"Nah, just fruit juice!"

The fruit has fallen
It has ripened
It has over ripened
It has brewed and stewed as it matured
His fruit is strong
It's confidence intoxicating

"Last one mate!"
"Sneaky 3 and drive"
"Get em in then!"

More fruit

The tree, beautiful, flowers everywhere
Bountiful fruit
But the fruit is un ripened not ready to fall
Don't shake the tree

Crash
The tree shakes
The fruit falls
The petals fall from the flower

No more fruit now, it is rotting
Just flowers on a lamp post dying in the sun
Bearing a note saying
"We will always love you flower,
Sleep well,
Mum and Dad"

I'm bored of reading political views
I'm bored of watching the **** on the news
I'm bored of having to have and opinion
I'm bored

I'm tired of people wanting to fight
I'm tired of people who think their view is right
I'm tired of the views of the right and the left
I'm tired

I'm fed up with always having to judge
I'm fed up of people who's opinions won't budge
I'm fed up that I can't just get on with my life
I'm fed up

I'm sick of talking of David Cameron
I'm sick of talking of Donald Trump
I'm sick of talking of Boris Johnson
I'm sick of talking of Bernie Sanders
I'm sick of talking of Jeremy Corbin
I'm sick of politics

I want to talk about people and life
David Cameron is just a person
Jeremy Corbin is just a person
Not bad guys and good
Don't get annoyed with the guy at the top because he doesn't do things the way that he should.
Don't create a system where we put him on top and then moan coz he doesn't do it the way that we would.
Darkly sarcastic cynical views do little that's good. They leave me bereft
Don't split up the range and complexity of human ideals into a basic idea of right and left.
Right and wrong.
Them and us.
Cameron and Corbin.
Trump and Sanders.
Rich and poor.
It's not that simple
They're all just people
You can't lift one up on a steeple
And cast the other into hell
Some of what they say is right as well
We're blind men with an elephant
And our discussions just aren't elegant
And until we listen to opposing views
I'm just going to stop watching the news.

A sort of ode to online dating

For a while I've been on and off on match and pof
A few weeks back I went on tinder
Not long after, I came back off
Because, my life, that thing did hinder
It wasn't the people who wanted ***
Because there weren't that many ... Sadly
It wasn't being harassed by strangers
It wasn't even sending endless texts
But because it often ended badly
Their defences are up, in fear of the dangers

Shallow, surface, empty, rude
Fickle attitudes take over
Behind the screen he hides, this dude
Spreading his toast with mouldy clover
He's thinking of things he could do to you
He's damaged by an old relationship
Angry at women and wants control
He has expectations that can't come true
An old fashioned romance that's almost worship
There are people watching him on patrol

Sat at home she reads the message
He sends it again 2 minutes later
It just says "hi" within this passage
He's not the kind of guy to date her
Shes beautiful, she's bright, she's kind
She's only single coz she wants to choose
But the guys seem aggressive, lonely and strange
She's scared of the people she might find
And all the things she's got to lose
If she meets the one who is deranged

Now this guy had a real bad past
Punished by a cruel mother
He always felt like he came last
Wife cheated on his honeymoon with his older brother
He went back out and met girls to ****
He used them, bruised them and abused them
Taking back the power he lost
There's this one guy who's wife he took
Just to show him you could lose them
And that being with women came with a cost

Back online, he's there again
Another message saying hi
He's got new pictures and he's changed his name
She sends him back a message "bye"
Shes had enough of online dating
If they were in the pub they wouldn't dare!
She needed someone who was gentle and  real
She doesn't want to end up man hating
She wants to find just one who'll care
So she goes with a friend to buy a meal

As she walks in she sees this guy
He's smartly dressed and wears a smile
At the end of the meal her friend has to fly
But she decides to stay a while
Her and this guy, they get chatting
They decide to go and have a dance
He's charming, funny, open mind
He works for himself and makes good pay
As they go to leave he takes his chance
Politely, in a way that's kind
He asks to meet another day

The second date, they go together
The theatre

I want you to know that I care
But I want you to know that I'm scared
Like you
I've been hurt
Like you
I want to trust again
Like you
And I want to believe again
Like you
I've run so many times
Like you
I don't want to run now
I want to stay
I like you
I want to know you better
I like you
I want you to know me better
I hope you like me
That's all I want
To be a good friend to you
A true friend to you
I want to be there for you
To show you I care for you
And that's all

In a moment

I'm calm
I'm confused
I'm lost
I'm removed
I'm thoughtful
I'm anticipating
I'm excited
I'm fearful
I'm scared
I'm aware
I'm waiting
I'm hoping
I'm doubting
I'm questioning
I'm dwelling
I'm twisting
I'm challenging
I'm happy
I'm unhappy
I'm happy
I should be happy
I'm waiting to be happy
I'm happy with some things
I'm focused on the wrong things
I'm questioning why
I'm thinking I don't know how to end that poem. It's hard to think about what you're thinking when you're thinking about thinking about it.

Who wins?

Ask yourself this
"With all the conflict in the world...

Who wins?"

Where is our Ghandi?

Where is our Mother Theresa?

Fighting for entertainment...

Cowboys and Indians
Home Alone
Wrestling
War games
Call of Duty
Action movies
Saw
Boxing
Martial arts
UFC
War
Destruction
Death

Now, think of a boxing ring
Or more like an ultimate fighting ring
But with weapons
And nobody leaves until one of them is dead

Now imagine Ghandi in the red corner
And Theresa in the blue corner

Now ask yourself the big question

Ding ding

Who would win in a fight between Ghandi and Mother Theresa?

They're both small in stature and inexperienced
(Admittedly, they're both dead too
Let's ignore that minor inconvenience for now)
I reckon Theresa would kick Ghandi's ***.
There's got to be some pent up frustration from all those years of nunning around and no ***.
Plus girls fight ***** (maybe not all girls, but my sister used to hit me on the head with a cup)

And Ghandi chose peace
He wanted to change things
Theresa did it for a higher power

And now she's dead

I bet she's well annoyed!

I bet she kept the Mother title though
But now it has a different meaning
"Who're you?" Says Ghandi
"Your Mother"
Boom!!!
Smack down!

But I ask you this...
"Who wins?"














It's princess Diana. She snuck round the back while they were both distracted.