Your kisses are like crack
And baby I'm
Addicted
The touch of your lips
Sends my heart into
Dangerous palpitations
The world disappears
When you whisper
Your poisonous love
Into my skin
Saying goodbye has never
Been so
Impossible
These withdrawals
Might be the death
Of me
But it's worth it
Ask me to pick my
Poison
I'll pick you every time

He is not mine
And I am not his
All you wanted was to have me
But I refuse to belong
To anyone but myself

I have two months
And seventeen days
Until our every day
Conversations
End

And it *****
Going even one night
Without hearing
From you

We set fire to each other
Burning from the inside
Destroying what we have left
To give each other
But we smolder together
Every touch brings more heat
You pour lava down my spine
I light the fire in your belly
Our passion burns brighter
Than any star could ever dream

You lit me from within
And only you can tend to
The fire
This flame will only burn
As long as we acknowledge it
My volcanic heart is pulsing
If we both erupt
There may be no fixing
The damage

I can't tell you
Who I am
In 250 words
Or less

My test scores
Say nothing
About the way my smile
Lights up my face
When I talk about
Something I love

My GPA tells you
Nothing
About the way
I react
To stressful situations

I can't describe
My life
With words on a page
Because letters
Don't show you
The tilt of my head
Or the expressions
On my face

I am not a statistic
Or a number
I am a girl
With reasons to love
And dreams to fulfill

Do not put me
In a box
I will color
Outside the lines
And draw circles
Inside of squares

I am not a number
Do not count me
With the rest
But never
Count me out

Cotton ***** on a field of glass
Suspended by a thread
Clinging to last resorts
Lazily chase each other
And I float among them
Wishing I could never
Come down

The backseat of
His car smells
Like bonfire
And whiskey
And him
He trailed his
Sleepy fingers
Down my spine
And split me open
For him
I knew I was doomed
When he told me
He believed in me
Because I was worth
Believing in

It's a cruel cycle
We've become a rut
And I can predict
Our future
The harder I cling
To our past and memories
The easier it is
For you to forget them
But as soon as I
Begin to look forward
You pull my hair
And whisper in my ear
As soon as I begin to give
You turn your back again
We never seem
To face each other
So maybe
We should stand
Side by side

Maybe you'd be happier
If I never existed
I hate myself
For causing you pain
And stress
Because I want to be
The one to make everything bad
Just go away
But then I myself
Would have to
Disappear

For your sake
I would

I'm haunted by the ghosts of everything I never said

You make me so mad
It blinds me
I'm choking on my words
Trying to
Spit them
Down your throat
I won't play your games
I'm done
Feeding into your little
Twisted fantasy
I'm the only person
Who isn't afraid
To tell you the
Truth
To your face
It's not my problem
If you can't accept
The truth
And an apology
Enjoy eternal loneliness

We aren't alone. We can't be.
And the answer to the question of whether or not we are alone is both fascinating and absolutely terrifying.
We have no way of knowing.
It's entirely possible that we are alone. It's entirely possible that we're not.
But then how did we get so lucky? Why are conditions just so exactly perfect that we exist in this world in this time in this form?
Is that a coincidence?
Can that be controlled?
And then the universe itself is a whole different question.
If it is truly unbounded and infinite, and we are a part of that, we are essentially zero. We don't exist. Our existence means nothing to the universe.
And if the universe is bounded and finite, what exists past the boundaries?
What else is out there?
Will we ever really know?

I used to float
Weightless and free
In a sea of blue green
But now I'm just drowning
Slipping father under
There's no way out
Of this blue green
Abyss

i havent written in months
i can put my emotions to words
my jumbled imagination
that flips through thoughts
like they're
tv channels
i never needed to write
i could speak with movement
telling my story
through the tips
of my fingers
to the soles
of my feet

but im writing now
ive been writing
quite a bit
because my language
grew mathematical and cold
i bragged of numbers
i was paraded around
like an equation
that praised technicality
you took my voice
and gave me legs
but made me speak
in your language

take your legs
take your language
this is my voice
this is my soul
i won't ever let
anyone
take it from me
again

I have been raised in a church
To believe that love between
Two people
A man and a woman
Is sacred
They taught me
Only people who love each other
Can have ***
I have grown up
Believing in futures and eternal love
And the idea that the man
Who holds me in his arms
And takes my innocence
Will be the one
Who holds my child
With the same tenderness

I do not believe
In promises of forever
The man who steals
What I've protected
For so long
Will never meet my children
It's time to wake up
And step outside these sacred walls
I cannot hide
Under the blanket of ignorance
Anymore

you looked at me like i was a treasure
and for the first time
i felt golden

you and i will never stargaze
like you promised
in a message
so i couldn't see you
lie

you and i will never see the city
like you promised
to my face
but i still heard you
lie

you and i will never meet again
i promise
you *******

you and i may not speak
in a week
or a few months
you will forget we happened
i might

you are full of empty promises
and i am full of too much hope

Open my heart
Like an old book
Read me
Like a familiar comfort
Run your finger
Down my softened spine

You are written
Between the lines
On every page
Folded in creases
Saving a place
For later
You have always been
My favorite story

There is so much I want to tell you,
But you do not
Know me yet so I think
It would scare you
Away

You made jokes about my
Goth phase in eighth grade
And you had no idea how
Close to home you
Were
All I wanted to tell you was
How the only reason my arms
Are clean
Is because I couldn't find
Something sharp enough

You asked about my best friend
And reminded me of all
The hurt that I make it easy
To feel
I am the easiest person to destroy
Because no one feels
A thing
And I feel everything

I wanted to tell you about the book
I read but
I know you don't like reading
And I didn't want you to see how
Vulnerable
I was when I read the letters
And the confession
And almost lost my
Mind

I can't keep it together
And I wish you were someone
I could tell but you
Don't know me
Yet
And all I'm good at is
Changing people's minds

Kiss me like you need me
Like you're drowning
And my lips are the last
Breath of air

Kiss me like you missed me
Like you're clutching at
Strings and I'm a
Violin

Kiss me like it's our last
Like you're running down
The sands of time and
Slipping through the cracks

Kiss me with passion
Like you mean it
Put everything you could never say
Into your sigh
Don't let go

Falling asleep
Would be a wonderful way
To die
To simply
Dream forever
To sail among the stars
With your lost lover
For an eternity
Nothing can be so bad
When you're
Dreaming

I am torn

Half of me
Wants us back
Rekindling
The love we had
Making new memories

Half of me
Knows we aren't
Meant to be

It kills me knowing
What I want most
Is what's worst for me
For us

I can't be your friend
I can't be your lover
I never know
Where we stand

I fit into your arms
But I'm afraid
If I go back now
I'll never be able
To leave

You passed me in
The stairwell
Yesterday
I came around the corner and
There you were
Trudging up the steps
With the weight of your
Disdain heavy
In your eyes
As they met mine
With a pitiful smile

You brushed my arm in
The stairwell
And I wanted nothing more
Than to run and never stop
To curl up in the dark
Into myself
So I could never
Hurt you
Again

If you look up "love"
In the dictionary
There shouldn't be
A definition
"Love" cannot be confined
By a sentence
Or a phrase
If you ask me
What I think "love" is
I could not answer
In words

All I know is
When you look at me
With those *******
Ocean eyes
And grin at me
With the smile that
Stops my world,
I feel the pressure of my heart
Compressing
And expanding
Simultaneously

I can't tell you
How I know I'm in love
I can only love you
And hope that it's
Enough

I haven't been sleeping lately
You're wandering into
My thoughts
And keeping me up
You haven't said you love me in a while
I wonder if it's still true
I don't want to keep you
On a line like you think I do
I can't lose you again
I don't think you get that
Because you think so lowly of me
That I'm starting to believe you
I can't handle your disapproval
You make me want go insane

I've been missing you lately
I've been missing us lately

to my ladies out there
who need to take
a little time
for themselves
once in a while
listen up
you are nobody's last resort
you do not always have to be there
you are not a toy
you can do it
so stop convincing yourself
you can't
wipe the tears off your own cheeks
pick yourself up off the floor
put away the Ben and Jerry's
hold your own girl
be proud of yourself
because nobody does you
better than you do

Even the stars
Seem dimmer tonight
Blowing cold air into
My bones
Weighing me down
With the weight
Of a million galaxies

Even the stars can't save me tonight

You are not in love with me
And I am not in love with you
Love is easy
Simple
Love is giving
Selfless
You don't destroy the person you love

You and I
Cannot get over each other
Because we cannot bear
To see the other
With someone else

I don't know if you want me
Or the memory of me
I miss the way
Things used to be

I don't know if that's possible again

I lingered
A second longer
Because all I wanted
Was too look up
And see you coming towards me
But you turned out the lights
And I was alone

Why can't I
Stop loving you?

It isn't easy
To love myself again
If all I hear
Are more reasons
Convincing me that I'm
Worthless

I can't change
Back to who I was
To who I want to be
When I'm being held by memories
That you can't seem to
Let me forget

I make mistakes
A lot
Because I learn the hard way
I wish my best friend
Could accept me
But maybe I've done too much
Taken it too far
Maybe there's no
Turning back

It would be nice
To escape my brain
Just for an hour
Or so

I wouldn't have to think
About everything
That weighs me down
Maybe if I had no brain
I could fly

I wouldn't have to worry
About everything
That holds me back
Maybe without a brain
I could break free

I could escape
The thoughts
That plague my mind
And poison my body
Maybe I could be
Clean

It might be nice
To take a break from
My brain and my mind
Sometimes sanity
Is just too much
Of a burden

Let me pour my heart out to you
But you aren't allowed
To listen
Because my heart
Doesn't speak with
Sound
If you want to know me
Watch me
Notice every deliberate angle
Listen to my quivering limbs
Let my fingers tell you my wishes
My toes will tell you my fears
The bend in my spine will tell you
My weaknesses
The hesitation in my core will tell you
My passions
The truth is ingrained
In the pull of my muscles
Across fragile bone
Do not listen to the words I speak
Just hear my breath
Take notes from my body
Let me show you
The story of my
Life

I need to know
That I won't wake up tomorrow
To cold sheets
And a new hole
In my heart

I need to know
That a few sips
Or a whole fifth
Won't make you
Forget me

I need to know
That I can give you
All I have and more
And you will stay
Until our inevitable
Separation

I need to know
That you will be
My best friend
And believe in me
When I can't believe
In myself

I just need to know
That love can last
Forever

"i'm fine"

like i've never heard that before
on long lost nights spent
pleading to save a life

like i've never said that before
on an everyday basis
trying to convince myself

like i've never lied before
because no one really
wants to know the truth

like i've never been lied to before
even when i saw you
roll your sleeves down

like i'll believe you.

Tonight I'll pretend
The wind in the trees
Is the waves on the shore
And you feel the way
You did last night
When we were drunk
Off each other
And twined under covers
I'll pretend that we aren't
Falling apart
And imagine my sheets
Are your skin
Wrapping me with warmth
Lulling me to sleep

I think the sight
Of you hiding in the shadows
Watching me lose my breath
Lose my mind
Will haunt me forever

I wonder what you were thinking

It hurts
To breathe too deeply
Maybe it would be easier
To not breathe
At all

What do you do
When you love someone
But they aren't
What's best for you

There are so many things
I want to say
but my brain is all fuzzy
and nothing makes sense
except for the fact
that I can still feel your lips
on mine

Your life today
Won't be the way you live forever.
Just give yourself the chance
To see your life get better.

How come I never want to do anything fun?
Why do I only tell boring stories?
You're stuck in a routine and it's ******* the life out of you
Or maybe that was just me

But I guess I shouldn't feel sorry for myself
It's not like I haven't heard it all before

I wanna get drunk
Belligerently drunk
To the point where
I can't tell
The difference between
The lie on your lips
And the truth in your eyes

I cannot describe the feeling
That pulses through me
Every time your lips
Dust across mine
With a smile

My only explanation
Is each kiss
Causes another crack
In my already
Splintered heart

I wish
I were the kind of person
Who could let everything
Roll of their back
I wish I could laugh
In the face of trouble
And take it on
With my head held high

I watched you crumble
You went through hell
And I could only sit by
But you didn't need help
You overcame yourself
Your body was destroying itself
And you fought back
Nothing could keep you
Down
Nothing could defeat your spirit
When you were at your worst
You became your strongest

I can't forget you
Not simply because
I loved you
But you inspired me
Changed me
Proved to me that
Nothing is impossible

You are gone
But you left yourself
In parts of me
That now feel
Hollow

Even after everything
You've always been the one
To make me laugh
Through pouring tears
And forget why
I cried in the first place

I've been living in an expectation
I am a series of checked boxes
Containing everything
I used to be

I've been living in the shadow of my past
In words and vows I made
Once upon a time

I've been changing
Who I used to be exists only
In the memories of those clinging
To their pasts

I've been growing up
Exploring the world as I never have before
Challenging my fears and testing my limits
Living for myself
Instead of for those
Who mold me into the expectation
Of everything I
Used to be

There is nothing I can do
To make you want me
In your life
Like I want you in mine
And I guess
That's what hurts
More than anything

I am not your friend
But you will always be mine

It's funny how easy
It is to lie
When the words
Are on a screen
In black and white
No emotion

"I'm fine"
Is easier to say
When the tears
Are silent
And my voice
Can't shake

I can't read
Romance novels
Anymore
Because every kiss
The characters share
Makes me long
For your
Presence