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4.4k · Jun 2012
Fiji Flu
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
I need a shot of something strong-
(anthrax?)
'cause I have too much passion for distraction
thought it's probably what I need most,
just a little break from thoughts and selfishness
I do not own anyone, not even myself
it's all variable
it's terrible
this illness of assuming the right to feel a certain way about anything
when you're wrong,
the feelings are wrong
it's possible.
Too much analysis not enough mental paralysis
freeze
let it stand still, we're close enough to the speed of light to halt forward motion of time
slide in a black hole
Helter Skelter, and I'll see you again
a changed man, new person, brain transplant
and I won't care
oceans are forever and round like the universe
citrus smiles mean only positive moments
nothing serious ever again
sight for sore thighs
joy.
3.6k · May 2012
Sashimi
Matalie Niller May 2012
Speak to me in a Russian accent
sound all angry and mean
then buy me a puppy named Tobias
and cuddle fer hours et hours.
I like 'em gruff
and dorky and sweet
and badass and lovely
and secretly love to write poems.
Do they tear up during The Notebook
and still love mountain biking and rock climbing?
Can he laugh at my weird jokes
and tell some of his own?
Maybe.
3.3k · May 2012
Vulgar Bulgar
Matalie Niller May 2012
Truancy is a ***** with ***** stamps and skunky hair
her constant need to blow smoke up the ***** of those trying to try
is inconvenient at best, irresponsible at worst,
maybe amusing in the eyes of the elders.
Been there, done that
she rolls her eyes and pouts
slits her wrists with carnival glass
so she bleeds the multi-dimensional colors imperceivable to  human eyes,
an entirely different color spectrum,
ultraviolet, super violent,
tasty and warm.
This young lady is no lady at all
just a little girl,
vulnerable and scared
and a total ****** *****,
grabbing her ankles and thumping in dumpsters,
pretty little thing,
with scabs and gin
and cute little *** stains.
Leave her be,
this street walking angel
she never learned her lesson,
too swag for education.
2.9k · May 2012
Cough Cough
Matalie Niller May 2012
Nudge a numb cockroach and he'll love you for life
just ***** little lemonheads
can't actually survive a nuclear explosion
but can cause catastrophic evolutionary queries
like "Why do the good die young?"
Can you believe
that long ago only the bad died elderly
and were witches with elixirs
potions and spells to make God blush and his **** turn to mush
so powerful
they made people go crazy with
judgement and micromanaging
but I'm the real witch
right-o I ride broomsticks and eat toads for snacks
my back is a lump of coal from the Devil's morning hookah
smoke billows from my ears
cockroaches my best friends
we cut off our heads and run into fridges
my pelvis is frigid except
for those **** roaches.
2.8k · Jun 2012
Zinc
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Henceforth all ducks shall be shackled
entwined in martyrdom
half-shaven and fully aroused
baked and shaked and rattled and rolled
like bunnies, their reproduction
obviously
blantantly
even Freud would scratch his beard
too blatant the ***
obviously there must be another underlying problem
loving alcohol means you need ****
*** obsession means you need
love? Condoms?
Loch Ness Monster came over for tea
drank the imaginary brew
spat boiled liquid onto a canvas and sold it as art
"yes, yes, what does it mean?"
What does it mean?
It means that you think too much and don't feel
and don't think enough too caught up
like me
not perfect just only
and only is all one can do
can be accounted for
one, two, three
fall in-between the divisions of derivatives
damask dames like snoozing penguins
which is
black, white and dread all over
none too sure or very glassy
not too much of anything
just, just.
2.7k · Sep 2012
Frog Legs
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
Swiftly like the night
or some **** like that
he ran
into the dark, like a proverbial Kenyan
he jumped
over trees
and swam
in the dirt
like a beautiful sea creature in murky depths
drank in the worms
all wriggling and fleshy
lunch
to a man by any other name
who wouldn't smell as sweet
he was hideous
like a jack o lantern
thrown off of a roof
of a 50 story ugly-person hotel:
vaccancy if your face has broken a camera lens-
he likes
eating roots and shoots
and tell him otherwise
and he'll chop your limbs off
and his name
I don't know
he's too perfectly abstract for such normalities
we'll just call him
morality
2.7k · May 2012
Disappointment
Matalie Niller May 2012
Not sure why
I ever expect anything else
but I always manage to feel let down;
I know what I want
and I do nothing to get it except complain when I don't.
I know that I want to be happy
and what do I do?
I be sad, and afraid
and not very happy at all.
And why?
Because I have bugs in my brain that just love to make my life uncomfortable
and as unfullfilling as possible.
I want to be free and what do I do?
I become a slave to everyone and everything so that I am no longer me
but an image of passivity and repressed desires.
If I were free,
I would scream from the top of a building my opinions
and kiss that freaking stupid boy
and then do terribly explicit activities with him,
but none of that can happen
until I can accept myself and reject the possibility of disappointment.
2.6k · Sep 2012
Participation
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
two tales
of three cities
identical
expect that
one was made of straw
tall
he has eyes like nothing
nothing at all
not even extraordinary
actually
very ordinary
so unappealing
but really
****
2.3k · Jun 2012
Harmonica
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Stretchy sticky tape can be used for plenty
like preventing loose lips from spilling secret information
make 'em taste adhesive next time they lick crackly mouths
serve as a reminder of the importance of person-person confidentiality.
Some just can't keep a good story in their head
which is why they shout
and beg for the forgiveness of their unpopular ways
I love all these outcasts
because I feel I should, as do many others
they want to feel like good people
holy
and sometimes you find
you do enjoy the company of the strange
and I find
that I thrive on absurdity and being a ******
because it's exhausting to try to be normal
so you just act a fool and laugh
because you love to read about politics and physics
and you still enjoy
being un-sober
though it isn't apparent to all because you aren't so obvious
(except now)
and you know roughly who you are
at least have some ideas as to who you aren't,
you aren't a princess or an athlete,
you're not valedictorian, not perfect
just a humble little ****** with birds for brains
flying out of your ears
a whole flock of 'em
chirping away eating worms
early in the morn'
just insane in the dark.
2.2k · Aug 2012
Bossy Pants
Matalie Niller Aug 2012
Magic mirror on the wall
tell a story, lies are fine
and so am I
just the other day a feller said
my, what great curves youu have
cars and such were never an interest
just a stupid investment
waste of time and money
late late for a very important slate
a new one
out with the old, in with the innovative
get creative
it's impossible
too broad, minds can be narrow as rails
trains pass through
rumbling, rumbling like rockslides in canyons
you in?
Fun can be naughty
not like when you're a child
no
that fun was preconceived frivolty
but this **** hear
yessir, this is real fun
you got it ***
maybe spark some interest in the papers
words with more words
darling tell me a story
make it **** good
about a princess who isn't beautiful
but still pretty, in a rather unnoticeable way
and make her a ****** who loves fire
take it up
makes me all sleepy
when your mirror talks in such silliness.
2.1k · Aug 2012
The Best is Yet to Cum
Matalie Niller Aug 2012
What filth
from such a sweet girl
not sweet
never was
just too lazy to speak  truths
apathy breeds misconceptions
those who care may not share
no, not an innocent doe
I'd hit that 'til the sun comes up
and some
and one
slam dunk in the face of foes
don't suppose
you expected much from the quiet kind of gal,
just a smile now and then
blush at the mention of unmentionables
*****,
I'd make your skin crawl right off
tell some deep dark secrets
thoughts of the perverted
it's all a ****** rodeo
if red is the seductive, the loss of purity
I'm blood on sheets
forming words that should never be strung together
but forever and ever
masquerading as nonthreatening
begging for a chase
to hunt and be challenged
shown the world from the truest source of understanding.
2.0k · May 2012
Gibberish
Matalie Niller May 2012
Profound profanity, he says, is the key to germination.
But why, I say, would one ever want to procreate?
For the experience, he says, which is about the journey and not the destination.
I can understand this,
it's like riding a bike
a stationary bike
that goes nowhere but see, you're going! Going and going.
I do see
and so does he
so what do we do?
Not a whole lot, just sit and talk of trains and temperature and how pirates walk.
He likes to do litmus tests of our saliva and hang them in the windows for all to see
that we are not acidic, but  on acid, and sometimes a bit base in nature,
like the trees and the crysanthimums and corinthian columns in Greece.
We traveled to Greece, once, on our stationary bike
it was beautiful and real and there was much salt in the air-
they grow olives and fish in the trees
and their water is just teeming with rust.
We put our rust on buttered toast like cinnamon and munched at the oxidized metal,
crunching like captains and cheesin like goats
just a random bunch of fools with our silver and tenticals and suction cups of steel.
We are like robots, fighting crime and boredom with music and shrugs
because frankly my dear we don't give a ram or an aries or any other kind of anything.
We simply do not
because we will not, and refuse, above all else, to sleep without a star in the sky.
2.0k · Sep 2012
Antibodies
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
perpetuated indifference
freedom and fleas
cats in the trees
loving the grass and twigs
between my knees
and toes
and fragments
in my hair
my clothes
and on a day such as forever
I spoke to another
terribly,
not so good at words
with others
who say words back,
pretty little polka dotted
circles and nonsense
like who are you kidding?
Individuality is not a crime
though faking it is,
as if being unique is even unique
but another copy
of another
a thought already thought
shush up
kiss like a real person
not a slobbery
monstrous
adolescent,
but like a man who knows
or at least cares,
but not about the earth crusts on my skin
or the air in my finger nails
it's all me
and if they can't like it
can't love it
in any way
that can be considered love
or positive
in any form or shape or sound or purpose
then forget
to forget
because sometimes
one is ****** up
and enjoys
a little game
of brain bashing insecurity,
until that day when one becomes self-actualized
(oh please)
and then real forget and freedom may happen.
How boring.
2.0k · May 2012
Real Talk
Matalie Niller May 2012
Expatriots await the nights in Kuwait
where the dingoes and dominoes and salamanders bait
the ladies in purple to their eminent doom
of sleazies and stabbings and babies in womb.
Don't get me wrong,
I enjoy a good time, if friends are around and we got a dime
or two
and a fire for the masses and we're shaking our *****
as if we are actually aware of the outcomes of our actions.
I know we haven't the slightest clue
what a Jesus Christ is, or if it hides under our beds at night
or if it was a Jew.
What's written in books can be written by crooks,
because literacy and knowledge are ******* beautiful
but can give one more confidence than the world has to share,
and the whole theory of Relative Pride falls to pieces when one has more self-efficacy than ability
and the children with their sweet little ideas and purity are not humble but fall victim to humility.
So what's in a name?
Letters, vowels, consonants and connotations
traffic tickets, family vacations
****** and protests (though not necessarily related)
teenage boys and ***** minds and those who have masturbated.
But who hasn't?
Those without names, or faces
or honesty or hands
probably have their members ******* in steel-spiked rubber bands.
I'll see you again in retox dehibilitation
and we can converse and create
while under the crutch of sedation.
2.0k · Jun 2012
Anticipation
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Cute, sweet boy
his eyes light up and gaze
yes, ******* gaze
like I'm some beautiful princess or wonderful mind
when you drunkenly look down into me
and it feels great
like I'm a human
your human
and I want you to wrap me up in your arms and tell me how you love things
maybe teach me some more guitar
tell me how I have the prettiest face and the blondest hair again
wait
why aren't you being so forward anymore?
This is the last time we will be together
why aren't you kissing me?
You tried the other night
I resisted
I was afraid:
of being a *****
of a kiss leading to more
but now I'm ready
I want the kiss and you're being a gentleman
you take me to my house and tuck me nicely in
then kiss me goodnight
just once and say see ya
I ask for another
you sigh and give in
but I want more
and more and more and more and more
until you're all gone
but what?
You left me
tucked up tightly so that I can't even chase after you
you're gone alright
never again to look into me like I'm great
never to make me feel special
I wanted you, you know
I looked forward to you
wanted you to touch me all over
would have made you feel like a stud
but no
I had my chance to fulfill my "needs"
and I acted like you owed me ****
like respect
I really just wanted to makeout
and cuddle
but no
I was afraid
and now you're gone
****
only **** boy to show interest
and now you'll only make my heart sad.
1.9k · Jun 2012
Fetal Position
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Let's go for a naked dip-
my bathing suit is cute but so is my birthday suit-
oh egg head
don't fall and crack
spill brains and embryo everywhere,
not good for the kids at all
might leave mental scars on long-term memory
let's get tatted like good old native americans
I am Chief Awesome
you are Franchise Emperor
pouring fries and salt into my arteries,
slow, delicious death
why must thou be so appealing?
Don't be so stupid
taste buds are my best buds
blooming like beautiful bulbs in berry season
blossoming
absorbing flavors and releasing neurochemicals
oh so sensible and seductive
get a hair cute Mr. Scrutiny,
you are outdated and overrated
Power-aded lemon-tossed
concluded in cuddling under stars and blankets
blame the infantry
they couldn't save themselves
poor things
just doing duties
just not all appreciated
but we do the appreciating
graphite collages and collagen fills
spill orange juice on tables
perpetually sticky
dodgeball eyes
yes we will be friends.
1.9k · May 2012
Jamestown
Matalie Niller May 2012
All-new
****** lands
(except for the natives)
dying to be properly deflowered and nailed and ******* and erroded
to make way for gun forts and gold mines
(they can be built!)
they're called Zale's and they love money
funny, not to all but to enough
call them crazy call them savage
but maybe they just love their homes
and don't own the kinds of weapons that make the loudest noise
but that **** the slowest and with least dignity.
Color-me a Cosmo girl
fit to be cover material, just look at my hair
look at Pocahontas, you know she was bald?
Hideous, un-English in every way
probably because she wasn't
but gotta give credite where credit is rejected, overdrawn
maybe never even earned just splurged and secreted
but wanna hear a secret?
The land belongs to nobody
not a soul not a body not a mind
they knew this but knew others were destroying it
that's why they were mad,
not because they were children who had their toys stolen
but because a living lifeless matter was being assaulted
catapulted into the future of steam engines and fried chicken
feathers blowing in the winds of convertables
they took scalps to maybe open the minds to the error of ways
not that one's head should be disassembled
but one can't seem so oblivious or wide eyed when shown the  facts
of obvious emotional response
but we are young
dinosaurs were old and we have time to forget.
1.9k · Sep 2012
We Be Jerks
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
He loves
her hair
finger tips
summer dips
fall skips
missed periods
no love
for that
no love
for unwanted children
parasiting in a belly
unfit for a home
so scared
they were
to tell parents
who would know what they'd say
would they be grounded?
They didn't think
about the child
were selfish
to not tell
were selfish
to keep it
secret
brought it into the world
birthed with silent screams
left for life
maybe
on a door step
no tears
just remorse
and relief
and who could blame
such people
for not wanting
to be responsible?
Not us
for we only want fun
I know I do
want to feel good
to be loved
even if it means
acts of unkindness:
outcomes that mimick
newborn mistakes,
our results are crying infants of moments of selfish pleasure
come to life
only later, the aftermath of a long-since let go desire.
1.9k · May 2012
Cigarettes and Condoms
Matalie Niller May 2012
We rage
like hormones
like hyenas in heat
and ruin homes
(not on purpose, just on Fridays)
So grown up,
we're so grown up
with our mature parties
and relationship problems.
Look! I'm pregnant!
I'm oh so grown up!
We puke up jello shooters
and mama's meatloaf,
wipe the whithered corners of pale mouths,
smile
giggle
hazy glazy eyes
in smokey basements and tree houses.
Oh no,
I do not promote it
I only smoke it.
But what can we do?
I must be thin to be ****,
drunk to be interesting,
naked to be loved.
We need the skin contact
because God knows we can't communicate by words,
either by tweets
or  haphazard ******* in back seats.
We are so grown up
because we accept the filth,
the naughty,
the concepts that un-rad corporate burn outs can't comprehend.
Wisdom in destruction,
life in suicide.
So allow me to fill my nose with shaymen's powders,
so that I may regress
to the days that I was Daddy's ballerina,
and school yard games lacked dark ****** undertones.
1.8k · May 2012
Sweetly Sweet
Matalie Niller May 2012
Were there no stalkers or high school shooters in the 50s?
Or are social web sites just more influential than our parents think?
Did texts and tweets raise the *** drives and black out drinking?
Or is the thinning atmosphere contributing to mass judgement impairment?
It's strange
that we have a cure for small pox, can remove cancerous cells
but can't convince some to drive home sober.
It's fitting, in a way,
that Mother Nature has figured out a system to keep the human population relatively in check:
we have the technology to survive diabetes and malaria
but  access to delicious saturated fats is slowing down and stopping hearts from properly earning a living.
Progress has ended many terrible ailments and has expanded understanding and brains
but has also given more creative ways to be lazy and irresponsible.
A double edged sword, with most likely more benefits than setbacks,
we have all become hypocrites under advancement.
We learn of the monstrocities in far away places we will never see,
yet still do the very things that contribute to its existence.
Sweatshops?
I'll buy an anti-slavery t-shirt!
(made my children. in sweatshops.)
Pesticides?! I'll go organic!
(and perpetuate pollution with the fuel used to import the goods. and continue terrible working conditions)
It's impossible to resist the inevitables, like death and setbacks and corruption
so sometimes it's best not to fight
but to just do what you want, even if it's stupid or lethal or involves making an *** of yourself.
We're all stupid at sometime and susceptible to faulty thinking,
and sometimes advanced thinking leads to inventions that create crutches for living or coping,
but  the fields  level out
and global common sense always balances individuals who lack the ability to be actively responsible.
1.7k · Jun 2012
Geese Eggs
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Is there a doctor in the house?
I think I'm having southern withdrawl symptoms
shakes and such
brain a blubbering mess
why give one so much feeling
if they can't get rid of it healthily?
Too much for one body to handle
maybe throw in another personality
nothing bad ever happend
just a technical problem during manufacturing
a wire connected wrong
or not connected at all
amygdala super sensitive
looking for comfort in wrong places
stupid faces
blazing aces
therapists are kind but really need a map
words only convey so much
can't help if they can't understand
whose fault is that?
Probably the broken robot
me
doesn't speak in proper vernacular
accustomed to being freakish and safe
greasing joints with *****
circuit boards of tofu scramble
electric feed back every once in a while
when I cough
perhaps new meds will calm overactive internal reactions
or maybe being all vulnerable to candy hearted young men
spilling secrets and insecurities to friends
but they'll all leave
right?
Europeans had no problem taking over lands
staying with natives
eating their foods
but if the natives had shared their deepest secrets and feelings
pilgrims would have gladly returned home for persecution
than to put up with an emotional Squanto.
1.7k · Jun 2012
Jargon
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Ciao baby, preggo
that means let's smooch under romantic balconies
and make lovely thick-haired multi-cultural children
I want a big ole belly of wine drinking zygotes
feta crumble eye *****
real live sculptures in my palace
jaggedy rocks with blood streams
trickling into the ocean
salty and brine like sewer sludge
let's go for a swim
could be amazing, or beautiful
most likely exciting at least
light bulb moment: I want to hear yours first
you're so dang brilliant like cerulean skies
fake but still pretty
tell me your story
teach me your lingo language
sil-vous plait?
Non?
Well fine, you're verbally redundant anyway
thoughts made of unsettling murky waters
no light can penetrate
and sweetie neither can you
not now
I'm 20,000 leagues too deep for your puddle of a conscience.
1.7k · Jun 2012
Stunning
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Freckles and tanned I will emerge
like Venus from the foam
hair all salty
and he'll be in awe
or he'll be checking out my friends
or he'll be checking out other girls
or he'll be asleep
oblivious to all
so seductive in his indifference
oh please
make his body not be so perfect anymore
make him unappealing
or me more so
at least catch his attention,
honestly not over him yet
getting closer
stupid abs........
1.7k · May 2012
Jessop
Matalie Niller May 2012
Yessir I have felonies
and melodies both melancholy and miraculous
paragraphiculous and ridiculous
stole some shows and some thunder
thighs like two day old pudding slap 'em and ride the waves
sike
drink up some dishwasher detergent chased with lead paint
not for the faint of heart just the stupid as ffffffffuuuuuu when under the right noises
and boyses and girlies all singing their swirlies
and twirlin' 'round like pinwheels of tin steel
ten feet off of the ground
hillsides like pill boxes full of coins and coincidences
unmeasured instances of grief and shame without a blame
no face to force hate just mirrors to show fate
and the stars in the sky with their winking teasing ways all
fall to the ground
will be dead within days
but they are not forsaken, maybe only spared
to avoid seeing the moment when sunny didn't share
and all went dark like absence of creation
animation of fears all mixed and respun into dope dubstep
to be grinded and mashed
and spat back up into the trees
1.6k · May 2012
Trinity Infinity
Matalie Niller May 2012
The years of playing sleepover in the parents' house are ending rapidly
I must now grow up.
I am no longer a young child, but an aging kid, growing older and older
until water gun fights and Hello Kitty are no longer acceptable
but creepy, immature,
and unseemly for the candidate of an office position.
The rules of hallways, bell schedules, bathroom passes
are obsolete
in T-minus
how long? Too long? Too soon?
Somewhere in the in-between, if I had to make a publicly educated guess.
What happens when I step off the magic carpet
and into the lecture halls with faceless classmates,
bespeckled, bearded professors
who do not care if success is granted?
Will I fall down those steps?
Will my mind become quick drying cement
rather than glue
and trap all ability to think in the concrete with imprinted initials and cracks with grass growing?
I do not know my own future, and it is terrifying
panic-attacking
stealing my REM and disturbing my circadium rhythm.
All to do now is sit, and wait
for fate to catch up with my worries.
1.6k · Jun 2012
Incestation
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Cigarettes have more than smells
feelings, really
make one's head fill up, get bigger
remember
that day, when you came home from ballet
you were 6 and one half and 4 days
and your daddy was smoking a cigarette,
told you what a pretty little lady you were
a small woman
but you weren't
you weren't a woman
just a little girl
wanted to be a ballerina
but daddy wanted you to be an adult,
gave no choice
you can forget the car,
the moments the sounds
the feelings of fear and pain
but that smell,
the sickening breath of smoke
the head full of it and screams
a sweet little reminder.
1.6k · May 2012
Testosterone
Matalie Niller May 2012
Something subliminal
in the way a man smells;
his odor, his  pheromones,
his testosterone seeping from under his skin
massaging my nasal passages
making me dreamy and sleepy
and tickly inside.
There's a unique quality
so pure and primitive
in the movement of a muscle
accidental
not for show
so private, the tension in a bicep.
It acts without the knowledge of being watched
and would move if no eye were there to witness,
but sometimes
we do
and we see the knobs of strength pulled tightly under skin,
dying to burst through flesh
and reveal masculinity to the sun.
Some kind of trivial beauty in the sweat on a face
after a long day outside
building a fence
cutting grass
tackling an opponent;
the liquid rolls down limbs
out of pores
drips
onto ground, nourishing the grass,
enticing
a nectar caused by labor and struggle,
grunts and power
energy.
Something so simple
in the sight of a male,
sturdy, like a house
a home to be enveloped in,
protected from the elements trying to rust our joints.
The testosterone fuels the movements, the thoughts,
and desires.
1.6k · Jun 2012
Bene, grazie!
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Ever seen the inside of a Teletubbie's belly?
I did
that **** gave me cataracts and glaucoma
which lead to injesting large amounts of guacamole
got huge
mostly in the head-
found a homeless man, let him sleep on my couch
he liked to tell stories about his encounters with celebrities
oh which he was one
back in the day, I think he was on Rosanne
never watched it but he was cool enough
we biked to the overpass to drop waterballoons on those who needed them most
like fake-tanned blondes in convertibles
and bicyclers.
I love all kinds of people and can forgive their beligerence
though mine are quite strange
I like canoing in trees and making mosaics from bone fragments and rubies
just a bit of a mind juggler
smacking singles on counters for pregnancy tests and breath mint
tell a tubby his belly is wide
and boy you'll be scoutin' a whole new skull.
1.6k · Sep 2012
Who Are You
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
Hey-
what gives you the right
to be so comfortable
with the opposite ***?
How come you can be all flirty with all those ******
and make me feel
so insignificant
when it takes so much out of me
just to have a normal conversation
with such a cool guy?
Sir,
you are the worst
and now I can see
where I stand
in your mind
and I'm not even on your mind
nope
I'm just some dumb girl
not even as cute as all the others
not as ******
not as experienced
so I'm left behind
while you go chat it up
all friendly-like with those bimboes
and I'll be here
like always
angry over something
out of my control.
1.6k · May 2012
Proficiency
Matalie Niller May 2012
To become one with all, one must lose
their ****, their wallet, their mind, their car keys
you must lose your sense of time and space so that it all becomes a dream
and you can't decipher up from left or hot from green
and you just sit
(or fall?)
until you fail and wail and bump against the grind stone 'til your skin errodes,
revealing muscle, which is weak when peeled away, to reveal
bone,  ground into flour for the cupcakes and bread et al.
Let their be fights, and strife
and lice and barium
because to accept all
you must love the disgusting, the heinous, and is that  what you want?
To accept all means to accept close mindedness, and chosen blindedness,
evils, weevils, steel easels,
do you really want that?
Yes.
Yes you do, if you want to become one with all.
I just want to forget the nulls and nuisances and sleep in peace and riot.
1.5k · Sep 2012
Spinal
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
Got a problem?
I can make thousands
millions
all up in the ceiling
mosaic tiles
blue and gold
holding down the albums
memories so soft and sweet
buttercream to wisdom teeth
picking out the files with an ax
and you can ask
any fella on the street
what he thinks
he'll say he doesn't,
we're honest by nature
nomenclature
soggy,
**** sapiens forever
loving bones and gorillas
never feel ya
quite the same
as that time in the attic
with the static
in our brains
it was insane
the way we thought our thoughts
touched touches
with more
would have scored
had it not been for the spiders-
frisky little things
squashed em long ago
and that's why they don't have wings,
unnecessary condition
apparitions to trife
made a foxy wolf lick his chops
take Peggy for a wife.
1.5k · Jul 2012
Qualifications
Matalie Niller Jul 2012
Sub-zero temperatures aren't conducive to photosynthesis
chlorophyll stuck in veins
freezing and thick, viscous
right-o
tips **** and ****
try to circulate nutrients
but nature cannot be altered
facts cannot be opinionated
tell that to the judge
small claims and chain gangs
game changing fame slanger
falling to the feet of the tall
once and for all
can't just sit and wait
procreate
at least *******
when all else fails
and it will
at least there are the simple pleasures
of air and light and sound
all around
and heightend senses of reality
and *******
and laughs, smiles
miles and miles
swimming in confusion
just want a touch
isn't too much
for a night on the town
lost, never found
alone in the dark
with another
not too long
just too right.
1.5k · Jun 2012
Vinegar
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Dissolve the grime
burn the mistakes
drip down the throat of actions
eat the bacteria
rid it of influences
and perception of memories
until clean,
pristine
brand new
and ready to become, once again, filthy.
1.4k · Jun 2012
Wayne's World
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Catch a falling star on your tongue
soak in the gaseous matter
millions of years of history and marination
long ago
careers were optional
fictional
we picked apples and drank milk
big n strong farm folk
tire swings and moonshine
tractor disasters
Ford made robots of robots
gym class saw mills
ashes to ashes
well hello there my jumpy friend
not enough sulphur in your supper?
Tatted body guards in grass skirts
hubba hubba
let the shayman give us some insight
fire side and full of hallucinogens
we will see the future and past simultaneously
martians will be proud
shame on you jumpy junior
mince the words like horror-flick killers
jack of all trades
let this be the silk road to tradition.
1.4k · May 2012
Peer Mediation
Matalie Niller May 2012
Empathy goes a long way
with wusses, don't you think?
The tough ones don't have feelings
just razor-wire for guts and time-bombs for hearts
emotions replaced with Hulk smashes and knife gashes
she said
"Let's be friends" she said
"We can chase air and lick butterflies"
He said "Only if you die first"
he only had dead friends
they smell amazingly disgusting and have WORMS for EYES!
She cried.
He almost felt sad, he thought
but he realized it was just hunger
for scared screams and others' insecurities
impurites of rhythm and logic just soft chalk cells
washed away by ***** from an angry bladder
getting madder and madder
maybe, if feelings were so prevalent.
1.4k · Jun 2012
Kermit the Hermit
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Paws and reflect
we're all good little kids
in bleachers, listening patiently,
allowing nonsense to continue
then the trees fell
things got out of hand
kids became adults with super strength
lifted the floors up
threw chainsaws into crowds
yessir
they grew up that day
that hour
and nobody pitied the inhanced
only wished they could join
could be as jaded as the them
climb mountains and spit acid
melt rocks with a look
but no
such characteristics were reserved for the up-and-coming
gods and titans
full of potential energy
bursting at the seams of the skin
splitting open into laughter and mockery
they will save the world
or at least give it a hell of a run for its money.
1.4k · May 2012
Yogurt Lattes
Matalie Niller May 2012
Don't be silly
ofcourse I am a ******
who has freakish tendencies
and uses jibber jabber language
and makes absurd analogies
like how fried Oreoes, when converted into global currency, is worth one hundred Indian virgins.
Fact:
I am awkward. I make people feel uncomfortable
and they can never follow my train of thought
because it leaves at 4pm from Seattle and will end up in Atlantis at approximately 3,000 BCE
(unless you take wind resistence into account).
I would sometimes rather sit alone and read a  book
than go out and have "fun" with people
and I can become very irritable when around humans for too long
and then my brain becomes unfriendly and my demeanor becomes elderly and dry
and jokes are not funny but just tiring and childish
and then I know it's time for my nap
which does not involve sleeping, because that's more of a miracle than walking on ceilings
so I mostly sit, eyes open staring and sorting out thoughts,
filing away emotions and sensory experiences until I feel recharged and have enough bars
to go out and play again.
1.4k · Sep 2012
Mamma
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
Well
not so sure I think or feel
but it was a hot day
the kind to make your skin melt
and you want to take it off
so your bones can breathe
but ****** is illegal
in Kalamazoo
so we must be polite
to the locals
eat the bacon fat like good people do
love air like lemonade
bitter and delicious
refreshing in the right circumstances
loving the smoke
so sensual
in and out
controlled and contorted by lips
pillars billowing
cliched
but so **** fine
thick and formless
it disappears
but for a moment
it's yours
theirs
yummy
wrists crack like silly skeletons
jumping around
clowns in the heavens
what are you saying
my dear boy(s)
you think you're in love?
I think you're in
for one hell of a ride
if you're into
cremating your dignity
1.4k · Aug 2012
Refundamental
Matalie Niller Aug 2012
Rumpled feathers wrinkled in time
switchfeet running on a half battery
a horrible situation if you aren't accustomed
but to the rest
an average day-
breakfast lunch and dinner
nutrients, calories, sustenance
cherry bombs make lovely sundae toppings
then all goes nuts-
kaboom, kaplow
may all the tall ones wear pin striped suits
and carry pinwheels
and pin buttons of political preference to breast pockets
out pops golden sunshine
rays of gamma and joy
proletariat eternity
cannot decide
between juvenile altercations
or the same ole same ole way of *******.
1.3k · Jun 2012
Tickets to the Gun Show
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
The age-old rhetorical question:
bask in hedonism or preserve innocense?
Shamelessly flirt
and makeout with hotties on the beach
or stay quiet and "moral,"
which is really code for "I'm afraid?"
Is a kiss with a stranger
really a kiss?
Or merely brushing lips against other lips,
maybe accidently,
gently,
couldn't be any harm, right?
Or would my first kiss with a stranger who holds no relevence to my life
be a life-long regret?
Would not cutting loose and being "loose" be a regret too?
So uptight
my hair is forever permed,
let it down and lank
will I still be me?
Would I still have self-respect?
Would others respect me?
Urges are strong
but will they ruin everything?
1.3k · May 2012
REM Recycle
Matalie Niller May 2012
Too tired to sleep too stubborn to fight
eyes resist both closing and capturing pictures
leaving one (Me) to be in a state of zombified negligence and grump.
Sleepy funk, like dreaming a boring black and white
film covers retinas and lenses
brain swirls in intoxication of running on E
and not even the fun kind
just the Empty kind that needs some juice
or nap
or maybe just some lovin' from a certain someone ****
though that's a stretch
and muscles are currently too ****** to reach that far
or scratch broken ribs of progress or even to
drink much of anything
just trying to be happy
though one needent need to try
just breathe and try not to wish for the night
because today may be the last or next to last
and the uncertainty just causes more anxiety
so the cycle of strife rains on its acid and placidity
until finally I'll crash
or implode, or cry
and it'll be great
because breakdowns are necessary for life and peace and tranquilizing.
1.3k · Aug 2012
Grinding
Matalie Niller Aug 2012
That's a load of lovely luckies
frolicking in meadows
flowers of sun melting mosquitoes and lady bugs-
don't mind except during pollenation season
need to reproduce
hard when you're dead
then you're decomposed
wouldn't propose any other way,
weighing pros and cons
coming up with brainy storms
thundering and enlightening as they may be
smell like lavender after wards
and the rainbows criss cross the atmosphere
like roads for the birds and airplanes
leading the way to another way
another then another
all together now:
synergy.
1.3k · Sep 2012
Bill Cosby
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
I don't want me to like you
and I don't want you to like me:
however the me's and you's fit
I don't want them to.
At all.
We are not a cute puzzle
with two pieces creating a beautiful scene
no,
we're two people
just people
living
and breathing
but that's about it
because separate we are fine
and will be
always
but together
I would hate you
so much
so yeah
I'm a *****;
but guess what?
Just don't go
liking anyone else.
1.3k · Sep 2012
Merciness
Matalie Niller Sep 2012
Perhaps
perchance
they think I'm a ******
a ****
a tease
a nerd
too quiet
too annoying
flat-out
intolerable
maybe
they find all others who exist
to be more enjoyable
better fit
to be human
and maybe
it's just nothing
that doesn't matter
but still does
because
it's difficult to think clearly
when the self is self-lonely
1.3k · Jun 2012
Unstable Personality
Matalie Niller Jun 2012
Relationships are worse than heights-
not even just the romantic kind,
being close with friends is impossible
I keep myself further away than arm's length
miles away
behind sarcasm and jokes
I have no feelings
just humor and abundant kindness.
Alcohol is grand
you don't think
just drink
and everything drains away
and people become less than people
mere ants
who want to care about you and your thoughts
but even then
I don't want their positive regard
I want to make myself invisible
no worries
I'm fine
I will bleed to death here, alone
I don't want to get your hands sticky
I'm fine I promise.
How are you?
Yeah, i just had a line or two
but really I'm cool
my nose bleeds all the time;
those cuts are from my cat;
I wasn't throwing up I just felt a little sick,
I had a huge breakfast
as my stomach rumbles.
I don't want your help
I can be strong
really
I can be miserable without anyone else,
they would only pity
or be disgusted
and really
that would make me crazier than anything.
1.3k · Jul 2012
Octave or Two
Matalie Niller Jul 2012
My my my
how time has flown
fully grown
cities living organisms
concrete equivalent to soil
buildings burst through the layers
windows errupt
beautiful
slower
wind in grass blades
everglades
marshes of alligators
chomping at nobody
publicity stunts
running for president
he shall be
doing
so grand a guy
sweet, heat
low and usually
a bit
timid
nevertheless
combustable.
1.2k · May 2012
Mortimer
Matalie Niller May 2012
I enjoy the word "sweet," it accurately describes the succulence of your lower lip
I wish to ****
and bite, and bruise.
"Hard" is your body, lean and tough
and assumedly rough
intense
passionate, all those lovely sensual adjectives that cheesy soft-erotica novellas
(that I "don't read")
use to describe a Man on a horse,
or in a fireman's coat, covered in soot,
saving kitties and pleasing cougars.
You are quite the male that I crave,
absolute perfection in human form that tempts and tortures my guilty thoughts and heaving breaths
so that I feel like one of those helpless heroines who swoon over a sensitive, wounded man.
But God do I want to inflict wounds on you, and lick them clean.

You have been a bad boy;
go to my room.
1.2k · Jul 2012
O Rly Now
Matalie Niller Jul 2012
Original origami
feng shui of the tai chi
Lao Tsi
tao becomes all becomes tao
but for now
all becomes crazy
so funny, circumstances of life
like a silly little jigsaw puzzle citcom
situational irony,
"Oh, let's invite him!"
Oh, let's re-visit a drunken nightmare
too incoherent to say "stop"
thoughts stuck at the back of a throat
let's choke our chakras for a bit
get our green juices and black juices good and mixed up
like a splatter painting
****
I wish
kept it in like a champ
my own personal fault
too bro to be ***
not bro enough to be respected
interjected with comments, admissions
such nice compliments from terrible mouths
I know I can handle my liquor
I handle a lot
with shrugs and smiles
more liquor
just hand over the bottle
show you sometihng real impressive
ever seen a girl go super saiyan?
Humble be thy game
shallow be thy name
gnoming around
oh please, get a grip
even in boarderline unconsciousness
I know you don't find me that intriguing,
that brilliant,
just another girl too nice to hit
too paralyzed to think.
1.2k · May 2012
Madre Nature
Matalie Niller May 2012
Come here
splendid heat wraps me up in a warm sauna towel
and bakes me at 350 til I'm crispy crunchy
and surprisingly Cali-girl
maybe attractive to strapping young lads with tan bulging biceps
it's hard to tell
the sun makes everything look instagram and amber
kind of like a living hipster photo album
only more mainstream because it's the whole world and even I can appreciate.
Oh my my
are the colors so colored today
they are living
coexisting
the sku blues with the leaf greens and the crap browns
they're all friends here
and there and everywhere friendly as friends
and bright as radioactive goo.
1.2k · Aug 2012
Negatives
Matalie Niller Aug 2012
Tropic and toxic
glasses full of Soviet enterprise
very expensive
blood diamonds and muddy bricks
thrown into the street
raining jujubees and tongue twisters
oh mister, let me tell you
a story
that time
it was true, I do not kid
and the knights of the feudal manor had no manners
at all
heads of tin
bellies of yummy, gummy
gruel
their disgust spread like the plague
all a mind sickness
slithery what-you-have-its
all up in their
phases of the moons,
too many to properly attest to
not very good questions,
unfair
studying never helps the potential
obscurity in life's energy
pouring through airducts
blocking chances of survival
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