i will never quit
i will never give in
i will fight till i die
even in death
and even in the afterlife i will win


BTW, FYI:
I already WON

i know it




and you know it







smirks
you are just groveling

maybe i'm bad
maybe i'm mad

maybe i'm ******
maybe i'm ******

maybe i want attention
maybe i'm immature

maybe i'm a *****
maybe i'm a bore

maybe i am cunning
and maybe i'm calculating

maybe i'm the devil


that is your perception
and you are entitled to your opinion



but maybe you are bad
maybe you're mad

maybe you are the ******
and the one who needs attention

maybe you are the immature one

maybe you are the *****
maybe you are a bore

maybe you are looking at your own reflection
and doing deflection

three letters
acronym
infinite ideas
infinite questions

Not used to stares
Not used to whispers
Not used to compliments
It all makes me shiver

No matter how cool
or popular I wish to be,
I am not used to it,
and will never be.

I am not used to being popular.
I am not used to be pretty,
I am not used to being well or cool dressed;

I am not used to being smart, or witty, or intelligent.
I am used to being miserable
I am used to being someone who wish to be those things

I am used to being the wallflower in the corner,
or the loser and the dork classmate trying to be cool.
I am used to be the one who is trying to be funny
or who is funny and crazy.
I am used to be the stupid one in the class.

I am not used to this world, or this reality of life.
But I am used to the life I have created, imagined, and dreamed in my head.
There is where my heart lies.

Makes you who you want to be
Not who you are
Makes you feel that life would be
unimaginable
incomparable
unbearable
incomprehensible
without him in it
Being selfish
and selfless at the same time
being selfless for the first time

you can't rush love
you can't rush death
you can't rush a baby bird
flying of it's nest
you can't rush beauty
you can't rush grace
you can't rush God's hand
shaping space
you can't rush life
you can't rush time
you can't rush death
calling your name
you can't rush art
you can't rush a masterpiece
touching lives to do best
you can't rush love
or making love either
you can't rush signing your name
it is about making you insane to make you sane
its all about building momentum
driving you to paradise you have always craved

You can't get what you want
for I have already felt
heaven and hell here on earth
All you can do is scheme
continue to tell lies
let us see how you dwell with mine

you might be at the top
but you can never top
this gift of mine
I have already died
and brought back to life
it is clearly an indication
it is not yet my time

My time has yet to come
and that is now and later
so I'm sorry to tell you,
you can't get what you want

When I died
once and twice
I never saw or met God
or anybody else
I never met the Devil himself
I never had a flashback
or saw the light
all I have known and felt
was a complete peace

I can see through your eyes
I can see through your lips
spouting out lies
I can see what you want
I can feel what you crave
I've been through hell and back
I can see through the grave

sikat
katulad
ng sikat ng araw
taas
kasama ng ulap
nagliliwanag
sa sangkatauhan
sa mga panaginip
katulad ng araw
bababa rin
ngunit muling tataas
magbibigay liwanag
sa dilim

At the least I tried
I tried to try
and tried and try

sometimes
i have my eyes wide open
about this world
about all people
sometimes
it's better to close your eyes
or turn it away
ideas can come running through my head
it is better to turn your thoughts  away
and turn the other cheek

ill-mannered impolite uneducated
how many words would describe rude
cheeky uncultured inconsiderate crude
how many words would say rude
they say money can't buy you class
then how much did you buy for your crass

I don't understand how what or why
I don't understand anymore the human mind
I don't understand love hate and relationships
I don't understand anymore the human code

how can they be cold and calculating
how can they be unreal and annoying
how can they change the day of someone
with just a word a look a sound

what made the humans better
what made think they can judge
what made them think they could go after
their fellow comrade

why do some deserve unhappiness
while others think they deserve more
why do some think they are better
why some abhor

I don't understand what how or why
I don't understand anymore the human mind
I don't understand love hate and relationships
I don't understand anymore the human code

oh man oh man
you are the apple i want to chop
the banana i want to drop
the watermelon i want to squeeze
the germs i want to sneeze
you're the being i can't tolerate
you make me so irate
you don't know how annoying you are
to some people like me
although i still wish you the best
i just hope you let me rest
i am not one of your projects
nor i'm one of your subjects
who do you think you are
as if you know the whole me
find some other one
who would like you to be
their father, their brother, or their friend
for surely it ain't me

i am a liar you see
i love to play a game of mystery
i want you to guess who i am
i want to see if you can

and if you can i wanna know why
why you gave it some time
do you ever want to spy
do you ever like my lie

do you ever look my way
do you ever gave me a time of your day
you see this world is a mess
for people to be always honest

lying can be fun sometimes
i am sure you have given it a try
a great way to get rid of somethings
to some people who got in your way

i am a liar you see
i love to play a game of mystery
i want you to guess who i am
i want to see if you can

I am no Superman
for kryptonite doesn't make me weak
I am no Hulk
for i have no love one to protect
I am no Batman
for I have no scary thoughts inside my head
I am no Achilles
for my feet and ankles are just fine
I am no Hercules
for love doesn't make me weak
I am no hero
for I cry weep and bleed
But I am superhuman
because I capable of being one
but most importantly
I am superhuman
because I am able on being human

I let them see me dance
let the see me prance
I let them see me walk
I let them hear me talk
I let them hear me sing
let them see my zing
I let them see me jump for joy
let them see me kiss some boy
I let them see making some love
I let them see me diving for some grub
I let the see stumble, and fumble
I let them see how happy I am
I let them see how thankful I am
Thankful to God for giving me this life
Thankful to God for the joy of this existence

In my head i create a poem
after a while i've already forgotten
it is funny how it ended
with no words intended

How can you fight what is inevitable
How can you stop something unstoppable
How can you run and hide from what's inescapable

No you can't
So just go with the flow
for all you know you are superhuman
with a strength unfathomable
with love deep and impenetrable

you are just misunderstood

it has been forever since i've seen you
who knew we will never see each other again
know i have longed to call you a friend

even though we parted in not such good ways
know i would see you just tell me any day
i've always loved you from afar
know that i still even do
maybe as a lover, or even just a friend

like love and heartbreak songs sing
know i will always love you until the end
i know you will always have the place in my heart
for you have taught me lessons from the heart
lessons about love, hate, and friendship
lessons about me people and everything

do you know you visit me in my sleep
still hate me in my sleep
still love me in my sleep
it haunts me forever
the relationship we have shared
our sloppy firsts, or mine's to be exact

this past drives me crazy
i have this need to fix it
need to reach out to you
talk to you
wherever you are
need to be at least your friend
for all i know we shared a great bond

do you know you still visit me in my sleep
i am haunted by you wherever i go
it seems like all the love songs are meant for us
it seems all the heartbreak songs too

i want you now
i need you now
fine, even for just in my sleep
kindly always visit me in it

i am having one right now
you know,
the feeling of being blocked
from the words I want to flow
for the words and worlds i want to show
is it because i already said it all
is it because now i have nothing to say at all
my mind is occupied with things i don't really want
i want it occupied with the things i want
and need
i need it to overflow with words
rhyming words of love and treason deeds
is it because i really don't know how to write poetry
or it is because poetry has ****** me for eternity

my heart beats faster for you
my heart and mind ache simply for you
is this love or fear i feel
for my thoughts are solely on you

you confuse me so much
i fear you so as such
you bring out the worst in me
gawky inelegant maladroit i am around you
it's nauseating that i am, also without you
it's upsetting, i am revolted at this
is this love or fear i feel about this

my heart beats faster for you
my heart and mind seems to ache
just thinking about you
is this love or fear i feel for you
stranger at day, thief at night
you are to me
for my thoughts are solely on you you see
my heartaches specially for you
is this love or fear i feel about you

It started with little pecks
two lips touching
once twice thrice
then tongues meet in a sloppy prance
then it grew wilder and bolder like a latin dance
mimicking a lovers' forbidden dance
lips united in a magical whirl
lips tongues bodies in a twirl
hearts minds in a pleasure high

If I should die
set my soul to rest
speak kindly of me
not my selfishness

tell about my kindness and grace
not the times i'm melancholic and in disgrace
tell about my sweetness and sassyness
not when i was a mess

speak kindly about me
not in disrespect
for i was a human too
who was in process as you

If I should die
I just have one request
set my soul kindly to rest

speak kindly of me
not my selfishness
not like when you let me lived
in this mess

Who would have known I would miss you
All talks of our problems
And even the nonsense
Who would have thought I would miss you
Your faces, your voices, your graces

Who would have known I would miss you
I did not, for all those times I was afraid
All I wanted is to leave, and thought this is insane
  - this is nonsense, it drives me more crazy as it is

Who would like to talk about themselves
Especially their problems and insanities
Who would like to hear others' problems
When it'll only bring up their insecurities

Who would like to talk about themselves
The same problems going on about you
Surely that would be tiring

Who would like to talk about themselves
When you know nobody really cared
So who would have thought I would miss you
Even if these notions are true

Who would have thought I would miss you
Why can't I wait for the next day
The next week, the next date
Will it ever going to be the same day

Who would have thought I would miss you
Eager to hear your voice
Eager to learn more about you
Eager to talk and hear more

But mostly I'm eager to feel your companionship
your friendship's grace
all your smiling faces and your warm embrace

Who would have known I would miss you
I bet you wonder too
But know that I do now
and know that I appreciate you

isolation
is what she can do
isolation
is what she do
isolating
to prevent the hurt from coming
isolating
to prevent her from feeling
isolating
from shame she felt
isolating
from what she is trying to prevent
although it is the thing that drives her insane
isolation
is what she thinks is best
to prevent herself from hurting herself
to prevent from hurting others
isolation
is the best
from this world unrest

I have this dream you see
someone who'll watch over me
someone to protect me from harm
someone who will charm me with his charms
someone who will say not just meaningless words
but poetic love poems and worlds
describing how he genuinely feels
someone who'll show me as well
not just through these asked words
show me what love romance and passion is essentially about
not just kisses and such
someone who will love me all around
making me feel loved and show me my worth
someone who will save me from loneliness
who will save me from this long and arduous sleep

I am trapped in these four walls
ugly deep and scared
screaming and weeping
whispering wondering
"will I ever leave this place"

I am trapped in these four walls
forever hiding from the pain outside
hiding from the world so...
what? I cannot even describe

I am trapped in these four walls
hopping to see the light
wanting to feel the sunlight
to unite with beings alike

I am trapped in these four walls
hiding from the world
being so far from it

when will I ever wake up
from this vehement slumber

I live not just in my head you see
I've scattered my life around for people to see
In journals, pads, papers and pens
In internet and laptops I webbed and etched
I live not just in my head you see
I've etched my life in tiny pieces of my mystery
from notes in diaries and sketches on love
I've scattered my life from all around for the world to see
that I have a world outside my head for them to see

Running
It's what he does best
running from the loneliness he detest
running from the longings
of love family and friends
running from the loneliness
he hides best
He hides in illusions
and fantasy grandeur and the rest
at least I'm living he attest
I bet you can't catch me
for that's what I do best
so go on and try
and put me to rest
for I long to feel a real lover's embrace
I yearn to experience a true friend's grace
I would love a family who's always there
not wastes of memories floating in the air
Please catch me if you can
cause I am so far gone
please catch me if you can
cause I am tired as hell
tired of the mayhem I've caused in my head

Why do he write he asks
its a release of his soul
a way to give his whole
a cleansing of the mind
in a world that is sometimes unkind

it is silly maybe
as silly as the things he wrote
but it is the missive notion
to the life he supposed

nor·mal
an adjective
/ˈnôrməl/ 

conforming to a standard
usual
typical
or expected

a word she keeps on running after
all she ever want to be

a person free from physical or mental disorders
fat sad old she is
confused moody she can be
mind heart full of dysphoria
loneliness and longing some of it may be

A line at right angles to a given line or surface
she has no angles only in curves and circles
she looked
a form a surface she longly hate

I am not normal she screamed
a thought she already knew intimately

When will I ever be?
Should I be, should we be, and how
these questions are running
through her head as she cries

Beds are made for sleeping they say
Pardon me for I beg to differ,
For there I sometimes work and play
They are made not just so people can rest
They are also made so they can dream and pray

A stack of pillows to lie on your back
So you can watch TV and play with your ‘book
One would do it to get your groove and sanity back
Unwinding and getting enjoyment

My bedroom looks like a place of heaven for me
You can smell the sparkle of my air
The temperature is like at autumn and after summer air
Other than that it would probably taste like fresh sea water air

It is the best place in the house
Probably as comfortable as lying in the clouds

i swam before i can walk
i dreamed before i could talk
i dreamed of stories
i dreamed from stories
awake asleep
awake in sleep
i float i fly
i swam i cry
i lived i died
i loved i lied
i gained my strength from them
i am weakened as well
from childhood to tween
to teen to twenty
i never stop to dream
will this be my only life
among the clouds up sky
will i ever live a life
will i ever live the dream
or let dream die a dream
let the dream eat me away as i sleep