Excuse me Miss, the test results are back.
We’ve spoken to your family, and we are
Sad to say that you are numb.
You will start your treatment tomorrow.

I’m


                  So


                                   Sorry


I’ve been numb for some weeks now

It started at my toes

It nibbled on my legs

It flirted with my head

Slowly but surely tiptoeing in

Numbness is a silent killer

It plays nice and deceives you

Creeping through my body

Then it took my heart

For numbness is a backstabber

It is not what it seems

It uses other emotions to find you

It is covered by fear, for they are good friends

It hides under sadness’s billowing cloak.

And it is smuggled through the heart’s border by anger

But now it’s in my heart

For the soldiers have come out of the Trojan horse

They pillage and take

For numbness is greedy

They start at interests and the hobbies

It makes them seem boring and not worth while

See numbness is tactful, precise, and deadly

It plays with your mind, and slowly eats away at your heart

Hallowing it out, emptying you

Numbness is always hungry

And now I don’t know what I have left that it could take.






Do not worry, for this illness you have, this plague, it is not deadly

And while the treatment we have prepared for you will not change you back

Because once numbness steals, It does not give back easily

It taints your mind, and like wine on a white tablecloth

It does not fade easily

Numbness scars the mind

It leaves its signature with a heart

You will not be who you used to be

You will be faded version of yourself

And a talkative young girl like your self should not be worried

For those who come into our hospital as vibrant and colorful as you

Don’t fade as much as the quieter ones

See you were stronger than them

Your mind did not give up as easily as theirs

But we are treating you early

And you will be fixed, not to worry

Our results of this treatment are stellar

See you will not be fully put back together

Just a little shattered

Not as broken

The ******

Tried so very hard to please his crew

But you see

Out on the high seas

Tensions run high

But you cannot take words

Back

See the crew loved the ******

They just didn’t know how to show it

In the night

The ****** rowed on a rowboat

Far away from the harsh crew

The crew saw him

Stop they yelled

But the ****** was already gone

Just

Like

That.

You told me your love came today

The postman came

And I looked and looked

But I couldn’t find your love

I searched in the postoffice

But I couldn’t find your love

You whispered

My love cannot be sent

For it is all around you my dear

It is the sun rising

It is the freckles on your face

It is you my dear.

I would like to file a report please Sir

Someone has ravaged my body

They have taken my innocence

Broken into my soul

Abused my mind

***** my conscience

Cracked my heart

Please sir, why aren't you arresting them

Is it not a crime

To steal someone's soul

Take their innocence

And leave them empty?

No, No I won't file a report

Thank you anyway sir

Have a nice day.

You don't see it

Not at first at least

You might catch a glimmer of it

on a sunny day

I lay inside silently watching

Do not worry,

it's very comfortable

You see I can walk and talk and dance and sing

it is very flexible

do not try to save me

For its locks have closed

and it might as well be 6 feet under

But it has a beautiful cover

of a happy soul

but the cover slips

and you might catch a glimpse

of it when the wind blows

on a cold October night

Do not worry my dear

It might as well be 6 feet under.

Do not love

Do not be naïve

Do not let your heart deceive you

For we were not meant to feel such pain

Do not let your soul be taken

See they come

And take everything

Be strong

Do not love

Do not let them ravage you

Hide your emotions

Hide them in the dead of night

Do not let them get taken

Do not love

Do not play with the devil

Do not touch the fire

Do not let them take you like they took me

Do not let them scar you

Do not love darling, for we were not meant to feel such pain.

The fires of your youth are fading

Waters of insecurity

Waves of hurt

Hurricanes of pain

They are flooding your innocence

Raging fires dwindling

Save them my dear.

Fend of these swells

Fight my love

There are no lighters in the fields of innocence

You cannot rekindle what is dying

Fight off your demons

Dams can be built

Protect your innocence my love, for it cannot be rekindled.

I took my boat out

Into the sea of fears

A lonesome journey

With the ambition to explore

In my sturdy boat

Nothing to fear!

My boat is strong!

But my boat was weak

Cracked

Fading

And I slipped into the sea

And hoped for the best

For the sharks do come

And the serpents do bite

And the sea of fears was winninng

I let the current drag me deeper

Suffocating.

Drowning.

Slipping.

The streets of my mind have run rampant

Things

Are

Disappearing

Scoundrels scavange

Please! Don’t take that!

They pillage my mind

Taint it

They are fleeing

Memories running away

Do not go!

I can extinguish these fires!

Please! Calm down!

Abandon the city

I have lost my mind.

Did kindergarten teach you anything?

To say you’re sorry when you hurt someone

Do not take what is not yours

They do not teach you how to break hearts

Empty souls?

Taint innocence?

They did not teach you

How did you learn?

Pick up my armor

Let my phoenix rise

Release the doves

You have not taken me

My castle walls are still strong

Do not enter

Do not wake the dragon in its lair

You have not defeated me.

For the war has just begun.

I have wandered far away from home

And the breadcrumbs have disappeared

The excitement has run away

Call me back

Let me run into your arms

And be a child

I cannot hear your voice

But can you hear my screams?

It wasn't always like this

she didn't always feel this broken

and she her pillow wasn't always wet

and her soul wasn't always this tainted

and her smile wasn't always empty

And she used to believe.

Please Stop.

You have taken everything

You have made me empty

You have made me weak

Pillaged my heart

cracked my soul

I do not have anything left

Taken my innocence

Stole my naïve mind

I am not strong anymore

My battle wounds are showing

I know I have lost

Defeated

My troops have retreated


The hardest part?

Pretending it doesn’t hurt

Crack by crack

Soul breaking

Knees quaking

Do not show then the damage

Do not give the satisfaction

Sweep up your heart

Glue your soul

Do not show them your white flag

Do not give up

See there are many battles

Do not give up on the first

You are far stronger than you think

The damage will remain

Hearts do not fully heal

Souls do not repair

Scars will stay

To remind of what you fought for

Scars make you stronger

Define you

Of the battles you fought alone.

I saved my love for you

And hid it far away

For the sun set to soon

And the moon was to eager

And you never met my love

And my love never saw you

The light will break

The sun shall rise

And I will show you my love

For it has not seen you in a while

Sir, I’m over here!

Please sir, I’ve been drowning for quite some time now

And no one has stopped to save me

They smile and nod, like they don’t see it

Like they don’t see me

Thank God you’re here

Please pull me to shore

I’ve been drowning for so long

And my body is weak

From fighting of they waves

They pound  on me

Suffocating

Intoxicating  

Sir, why are you revving your engine?

Why are you leaving me?

Please sir, I don’t know how much longer I can last

You are the only one that’s stopped and noticed

Please don’t go

Don’t go

Please save me.

The pieces you left

Your absence thought hard my love

The pieces you left behind are still sharp

I cant clean them up yet

Shattered on the ground

Fragile baby steps

Around

What you left

Please come back

And pick them up

The edges are dulling

The wounds

Are scarring

Just pick them up my dear

They have been there long enough

I took my road and you took yours

Madness un-resolved

Tainted Words

Crashing

Heat Melding

Your fires raged

Screams spread among the night sky

I read the stars

I felt the heat

The land pulsated with your heartbeat

Quick pants

Your desperation trickled

Down my road

My tires splashed

For my road is healing

Stay away

Burn in the embers

Of your depair

I’m sorry I’ve

                                lost

     my
                                                       way

My roadmap is coffee stained

My GPS is dead

I don’t know this place

And I’m scared to be quite honest

This town is scary and unsafe

And I’m traveling alone

I know it’s foolish

For a young girl to be out in the world all by herself

But please take me away from here

Their unfriendly stares are hurting me

And I can hear what they say about me

But my car is out of gas

And my tires are deflated

No, I don’t have any particular place I’d like to go

Anywhere away from here

I lost home a long time ago

Thank you so much

No I’ll leave everything here

I’ll leave everything here.

Leave everything

Everything here.

Here.

when it seeps into your body

when it slithers into your soul

no sadness doesn't hurt

sadness is not pain

when it clutches your heart

Or corrupts your mind

No it doesn't hurt

to feel nothing at all.

I have a visitor

She touches the glass and talks into the phone

Are you okay

Yes


I


Am


Fine

Just wondering, she smiles

And I’m smiling too

Because she can’t see this glass

Or this divide between us

And she can’t see the phone she’s talking into

If I let down my bars

Unlocked my chains

In the prison of my mind

Could you handle what would pour out

Would I still have visitors?

And would you still stand by me, if I escaped from my prison?

I hang up my phone.

And walk back to my cell.

And nobody notices.

You unleashed your demons on me

Your deepest darkness

Sent to consume me

You released it quietly

They slid through the back door

So as not to ruin the image

Of the landscape in the front yard

I was not ready to fight off your demons

And you knew

Innocence

Can be taken very easily

But my hands clutched it tightly

I held on for so long

But your demons were strong

Dressed like angels

They quickly lost their capes

And unleashed themselves

You watched and you knew

Your cheek was turned yet your eyes watched

Was I an easy target?

Left alone

Helpless

You ushered your demons back in

One day my dear

They will come out the front

And your house will not be safe

Yes, this is the first time

I have finally passed

Drive freely

What is this option ma'am?

To be a donor?

Why yes, I would

You can give them everything

My heart

My blood

My mind

My soul

They could take them now if you like

I don't use them much anyway

and I'd prefer it this way.

They send you to this school

And said fill your head with knowledge

My head is full my dear

There is nothing else I can learn!

False.

The mutterings in the hallway

Cries in the night

Ribs through the shirt

Emptied my head

Columbus does not teach you how to survive

Aristotle does not tell you how to fight

Hemingway does not teach you pain.

They send you to this school

And said fill your head with knowledge

I emptied my head

And filled it with what I learned.

That’s what you wanted, right?

Hello sir,

Yes, I am empty once again

I feel like something must be wrong with me

For I have come to your shop more than usual

It's quite unnerving to be honest

To be so empty

I barely made it here

Excuse me?

You don't have anything left?

I surely have not gone through everything

Please sir, there must be a mistake

For I was not meant to be this empty

Please check the system

Compute again

For I cannot be this empty

Forever.

Take me my love

Take my fears

Faults

Flaws

Take me my love

For no one else will.

The storm is coming my dear.

And you are not prepared

You have tried your preparations

Boarded your windows

Rationed the food

Stored the generator

You are not prepared to lose everything

You are too young for this storm

But it shall come
  
It will take everything

Sweep you in the night

Do not worry

Let it take you

Let its waves pound

Succumb to the lightning

Let it draw you in.

Let go.

Fall into the storm

Where is everyone?

I have been hiding for quite sometime now

and nobody has found me

I am lost

and very afraid

Please help me

I don't know where I am

This hiding spot can't last forever

And the other players have forgotten me

Can no one hear my screaming?

My pounding?

I don't like this game anymore

The words I didn't say

Pounded

As I saw the couple walking in the park

on a windy October day

I do not approach them

She will cry over you

And you will hurt her

And It will not be like this all of the time

on a windy October day

He might not always laugh

And she might not always smile

And you might not always run after her

And grab her hand

on a windy October day

This might be the last time he will ever look at you like that

And this could be the last time

they are ever in love

on a windy October day.

Remember when you were pure

Happy

But swing chains rust

And see-saws break

And we become broken

Our paint peels

We are chipped away

What a shame

We all become

Such fragile broken things

I’m sorry

The person you are looking for is not here

She is missing right now

Do not worry

She has not been kidnapped

Or taken

Rather the person she was

Has been stolen

And we do not know when she’ll be back

But we assure you we will tell her you said

Hi

I’m sure she would love it if you stopped by later

After she comes back

You see she is very lost right now

And is not very sure

Of anything

She is traveling to find the person she used to be

The person that she used to see

You called in a very confusing  part of her life

Her thoughts are hazy and her mind unclear

She just needs time

Please understand that

She loves you very much

So just leave a message at the end of the beep

How am I today?

I am bruised

I am broken

I am hurt

I am empty

I am lost

I am scared

I am afraid

and I am alone

Yes, I would like my change

Thank you.