-After Diana-                                              
The paparrazi are nobody's friend            
It all seems such a pity
He shouldn't have trained his big long lens
On her poor little Bristol Cities

-After Maggie-
When the daisies push up with Maggie beneath
To mark her grave will be taking a chance
For some may come to lay a wreath
But others will come to dance

-After the war-
The Argentine girl was all smiles
All went well between us
I didn't mention the Falkland Isles
And she didn't say Las Malvinas

Solo Atlantic rower
Oarsome!

Jlo rows Atlantic
Arsome!

Take a butchers at this me old Chinas.
Slip ya Plates o' Meat into ya Jacks,
brew up a nice cup o' Rosy,
and if you haven't got a ****** what I'm on about,
feel free to fire me off a Jimmy Nail
and tell me it's a load of old cobblers.

Can you Adam an' Eve it,
I left me Dog 'n' Bone on the Apples
and when I went to call the Trouble 'n' Strife
some joker had Half-Inched it.

But that's not the worst of it.
When I got back to the Cat and Mouse
she'd done a bunk in me shiny new Jam Jar.
I couldn't believe me Pork Pies!

So here I am all on me Todd,
me only transport a ****** old **** van ****.
Gordon Bennett!
I'm goin' down the ****** for a few Britneys,
gonna get totally Brahms and List
and blow a big fat raspberry at the whole thing.

Tomorrow's another bale 'o' hay.

That day when 96 fans died
Through their teeth the police
They lied

They tried to give the fans the blame
Now hang your heads
In utter
Utter
Shame

The time may come to say goodbye
Who knows when
Who knows why

But for now let's have some fun
Can I play bongos on your ***?

Jay                                                                      Horatio

By the door in the flower ***                            The man who planted all these trees
Among the beans in the veggie plot                Alas I knew him well
In the lawn, everywhere -little oak trees-         He did not see them to maturity
Do you know who puts them there?                How long our years we cannot tell

I've only ever seen it once                                  Now strong and spreading to their prime
He does it when you're not around                  They seem to thank him for their chance of life
He does it taking lots of care                             In gratitude they sway and soar
He puts an acorn in the ground                        And breathe for him as he can breathe no more

He thinks he's coming back to it                      We thank the Jay for acorns
When he feels the need                                      Unwittingly he sows
But mostly he forgets                                         And plant like him we must
So germinates the seed                                       Although like him we may not see them fully grow

                                       As I look up at this fresh green canopy
                                             I think of all the tiny saplings
                                                   And of what will be

I say hello, and how are you
She says the weather's warm

I say I like your hair that way
She says approaching storm

I speak to her, she speaks to me
In our special way

I expect you see her too
Even down your way

She half turns and strokes the sky
I give a little sigh

Shows off her huggy little curves
I'm thinking  my oh my

She waves her hand across the map
Talking high and low

Where she goes to afterwards
I don't really know

I think I'm in love with the weather girl
I see her every day

And that for now is really all
I have left to say