Happy New Year
Be of good cheer
Let's raise a glass to happy times
And a whole new year of writing rhymes

If your glass is nearly empty
Fill it up,we've still got plenty
If your glass is never full
You drink too quick, silly fool

The 3 toed sloth
Rhymes with goth
Or is it oath

Moves slowly

Sometimes algae grows on his head
Joni Mitchell didn't mean him when she said

Wild things run fast
3 toed sloth, he'd come last

Once a week he climbs down from his tree
And that's to have a poo and ***

Now sloths get amorous
But *** is tricky up a tree
He moves too quick, he's not used to it
And hits the ground involuntarily

Randy broke his arm
Kind people fixed it with titanium

He resumes his slothful days
But now he's more careful with his loving ways

For those who want to learn
There are many teachers

I love to watch you sleeping, I love to watch you run
We spend our days together, together we have such fun
All you ask for is the basics and a bit of company
Body language reading is your speciality

That and chasing blackbirds or anything that moves
Rats, cats or aeroplanes are all fair game to you
When I'm busy working you're good at killing time
But ready for some action when you read the signs

At ten o'clock you go to bed, I pat your head and say
Night night Dusty boy, sweet dreams
You've been a star today

When searching for your heart of gold
Be warned that many counterfeits are sold
The gilded one may brightly shine
But flakes and fades given time
The one you're really looking for
Is made of carat 24

She was only 15, no boyfriends yet
At a family gathering their eyes first met
Now Rob's not shy, with plenty of chat
So he gave her a call and they never looked back.

She went to Cambridge to get her degree
So every weekend, so did he.

When that was all done, what's next to do?
No more travelling, just me and you
In a cottage in Framsden made for two

With ferrets and fish and a couple of dogs
Oka cooks happy meat while Rob chops logs
A veggie garden appeared for a spell
A few came up, but the weeds did well.
Some chickens arrived and did their thing
Then so did the fox to commit his sin.

Now Rob loves his hobbies, it gets on her wick
When he's in his shed fiddling with his welding stick.
But life is quite settled, time passes like this
Living their version of unmarried bliss.

But something is missing, the feeling grows
She thinks to herself, will he ever propose?
Then leap year comes round, with it's extra day
That was her chance to have her say

Rob knew it was coming, he took the day off.
She said I want to be married, now don't you scoff!
But Rob wasn't scoffing, he said now I'm sure
I do love my Landie, but I love you more.

That brings us right up to this special day
We all wish you well, we all want to say
May your lives together be happy, healthy and long
May your love for each other keep growing strong.

My body's nothing special, as far as I can see
My mind, though verging on the tiny
Is good enough for me

I don't ask much from anyone
They don't ask much from me
That way I stay in touch
With my inner chimpanzee