Sad days are here again.
Sad days are here to play.
Sad days, you came back.
Back so soon?

It's the little things; they make me sad. I often brush them away. I'll sweep it into a tiny corner, at the back of my mind, until one day. Without me realizing it, becomes a tall mountain of sadness.

A small, painless kick sends the mountain into an explosion; crashing down like an avalanche. Leaving me a crying mess, hiding behind closed doors like a forgotten ragged doll; sad and feeling empty.

"I'm sorry I woke up late. I was too comfortable being under the blanket of crocheted sadness. I wanted to keep my eyes shut; devoid of the real world. I wanted to keep dreaming of things I couldn't have. I'm sorry I got up so late. Truth is, I didn't want to wake up. *Because getting up would bring me even more pain and misery."

-m.b

So many moving mouths
telling me to be careful
whenever I'd step out of the house.
They knew I was young, a fool.

"Don't give yourself to
just anyone, you hear me?
They'll play with you like a tool."
Not gonna lie, it sounded scary.

But I thought you were okay.
The laid back body, the easy
smile, like a sun's ray.
Funny jokes, though a little cheesy.

Your words coming out like waterfall,
tumbling into my easy ears.
Stifled giggles in the silent hall.
I was at the peak of my teenage years.

You pulled me gently and I,
an eager, curious subject,
succumbed to the twinkle in your eye.
You filled my empty longing ache.

I wanted it to be like
how I dreamed it to be.
This is how you do it, right?
Then why am I not happy?

You seemed contented
and I played along.
"You wanna go again?" I hinted.
Maybe I did it wrong.

But they say when it's right,
you would feel it.
There's no doubt.
My cheeks warm, humiliation bit.

This is what they warned me about.
I gave a piece of me to him
but he left it on the ground;
Just like the clothes when the lights dimmed.

When I woke up, I was alone.
My vision was blurry
as I can't call him on the phone.
Could someone please bury me?

-m.b

The weight of you
     sitting upon me.

My fingers rake
     your thick mop of hair.

My fingertips graze
     your porcelain skin.

Inhaling your scent*
     like a breath of fresh air.

And I miss it.
     I miss it all.

-m.b

She talked about him as if he hung the stars in the sky.
She looked at him like he was Adonis from the famous Greek myth.
She listens intently to him as if it's a lullaby.
She got goosebumps when they touch, like a soothing drift.
She wanted to know him more but was afraid to pry.
She was thirsty for his love, took everything he gave.
She liked him so much, at nights she would cry.
She wanted the best for him, for as long as he lives.

He talked about her like she's a friend of his sister.
He looked at her like she's a painting he couldn't understand.
He listens to her like she's reciting a speech by a pastor.
He recoils when they touch, her skin gets too damp.
He doesn't really know her because he never bothered.
He gets annoyed when she asks too much, he prefers being alone.
He tries not to be with her too often, she deserves better.
He knows she likes him but he doesn't want her to be heartbroken.

-m.b

"You're too young to be cynical," mum said.
"I grew up," I said.
"What happened to my happy baby?" she asked.
"She's gone," I replied.
"She's already gone," she echoed.
We left it at that.

-m.b

She was his moon,
his muse.
It was her name he moaned
when his heart was pierced
by Eros'
enchanted arrow.

It was her
that danced on his mind.
Her eyes and hair
he thought of every time.
But she'll never know;
She's the cause of his sorrow.

For she is lovable
but he isn't.
She's everything good in this world
and he's everything you do but mustn't.
His own kingdom he'll overthrow
just to see her again tomorrow.

-m.b

There was silence.
And silence and silence and silence.
I could only meet you in my dreams.
Of your smile and you saying I'm okay.
Of me saying it's okay, you're forgiven.
We'd reunite and be happy again.
Then I'd wake up. Then there's silence.
There's silence and silence and silence.

-m.b

I was at the train station and heard someone sneezed.
It sounded like you so
I whipped my head in that direction,
craning my neck
to look for a familiar outline.
This city is big but
I was hoping that
the world would be small enough
so I can see you again.
It's been way too long.
I miss you.

-m.b

I ran out of things to burn to send you smoke signals. Or maybe I just want to preserve what I still have so I would not destroy my treasures anymore. I do not want to wake up one day, completely alone in an empty space because I keep burning things to make you notice me. Why am I always the one sacrificing things here? Now my lungs are filled with polluted smoke, my heart pierced by longings, head filled with strong debates on whether I should keep you or leave you. Do I send you one last signal? Or is the silence already a message sent?

-m.b

Hours ticked by as I sat upon my bed, reading what's written on my screen and I grew more irritated by the minute. Odd, there were no specific triggers but anything these people said made me angry. Silent yet violent waves crashed against my ribs. Red, angry waves. Teeth clenched, shoulders tensed, perched at the end of my bed.
But a message from you popped up and so I clicked on it. You replied my message that --in the midst of my random anger-- I've forgotten I sent earlier. A simple, one-sentenced message saying "I love you most" with a series of hearts changed the emotions I've felt.
The red that I saw turned to a soothing blue. The violent waves in my chest went from roaring to calming, still waters. My perked up tongue laid down into a comfortable slumber. My once-tensed shoulders drooped in a relaxed manner.
Just like that, the unfathomable anger that got me riled up for no reason, was tamed and forgotten; thanks to your presence. What is this magic you yield?

-m.b

Some people find
solace in words,
some people find
solace in music.
Some people find
solace in paintings,
but I find solace
in your voice.
You reciting stories,
slow and steady;
luring me in
with your eyes
and waving hands.
I am hopelessly
trapped in your
hypnotizing existence.

-m.b

Perhaps these seeds I've planted
Will make flowers grow
Into self love I wanted.
These doubts, they need to go
//Baby steps to love myself//

-m.b

Sometimes I forget that people change. The people you've been with won't stay with you for long. I get so used to being a part of a group that when I'm back to being a singular or solitary molecule, it feels heartbreaking.

I tend to forget that people change. Like from solid to liquid to gas. Shifting forms as they grow. Blowing up, deflate, compress; changing their mentality, preferences and their whole being to suit their surroundings.

I honestly keep forgetting the part that we'll never really remain solid. We're real life forms, changing into complex, different states of matter. And sometimes when I think there are only three states, I discover that they change into a fourth one. Or more. And I can't remain the same as what I prefer or feel comfortable with.

-m.b

I've moved on but clearly it still pains me.
I can't help the building insecurity
when I look in her direction.
It has always been a distraction.
Perhaps one day I'll recover;
The hurt, the envy, they won't be here much longer.

-m.b

It's the low thrumming sound;
I could feel it within my spirit
whenever you're not around.
I didn't think I would get hit
by Eros just yet. I was doing so fine
on my own. Life is funny.

The rhythms come together
when we catch each other's waves.
This is so cliché but life just got better.
I feel like all the negativity paves
way and made room for your presence.
Counting my blessings, you're a godsend.

-m.b

Three summers since we first met.
On hot nights we'd rendezvous and laid
Together under the stars,
Poured out our hearts;
Long drives in our cars.

Two summers since we parted.
That was when your eyes started
To look away, darted.
I kept trying to call you
But again and again we'd argue.
It broke me to say "We're through."

One summer since I bumped into your friends.
I was anxious, I fiddled with my hands.
Truthfully, my love for you transcends
The time and distance that parted us.
They say you tried to disguise
Your pain but you still love me. That gave me a rush.

-m.b

He was a demigod who tricked his dad, Zeus. When he got caught, he was killed and then cursed for an eternity; denied of food and drinks. He was made to stand in a stream of crystal water under apple trees. However, every time he were to reach for the fruit or bend down to drink, he'll be eternally denied.

To me, that's how it feels like loving you. You're right in front of me. Every thing I ever wanted but you're out of reach. All I could do is look at you in hunger of your touch and love. Longing fiercely to know what it feels like to have you in my grasp. Wanting a taste of you at least once. The question is; what did I do to ******* the gods for cursing me this way? Why does it feel like I'm eternally ******?

-m.b

I am known to be a flirt
to everyone I'm close with
but I was once hurt
by someone; a thief.

I'll always say "I love you"
to people. It isn't a crime.
Because I really mean it, it's true.
Except for this one time.

I'll hug and I'll grab your hand,
tease and slide in pick up lines.
I hope you'll understand
that I'm not the type to stay on people's minds.

-m.b

I see you like the first
sunshine after the rain;
you give me hope, it bursts
in my parched brain.

I see you like the
purply-pink sunset
after an eventful day;
beautiful lullabies I bring to bed.

I see you like the
rainbow appearing after
the storm. You'll tell
me to stay strong in a banter.

This is for you.
Thank you for showing
that it gets better. Thank you.
You're my favourite human being.

-m.b

I'm that person that you would befriend
just to get close to my pretty friends,
sisters or cousins.
I'm that person who'll be there for you when
you're bored and you need to pass time.
I'm that person who you turn to rant
but once you feel better,
you disappear.

"Thank you for being
there for me.
You're a good friend," they'll
Say. Sometimes not at all.
They say I'm great to be friends with
and although I appreciate it,
sometimes it gets tiring.

I'm tired of being that person where I would
make an effort to look good
but no one would bat an eye
and think I'm pretty.
I'm tired of being that person who gets
to listen to someone I like very much,
talking about who they like.
I'm tired of being that person who listens
to people but no one listens to me when
I need someone to talk to.

Thank you for trusting me and
for appreciating me as a friend
But you're another reason why I'm wondering
what I did wrong as I stay in alone
on Saturday nights,
date-less.

-m.b

we were flying in the gentle breeze;
calmly, slowly, happily.
but that's it.

even if I felt everything;
the butterflies, the awestruck,
the extreme giddiness and "glow", you didn't.

I would think it's wrong
that I'm alone in this
but it's not. honest.

even if we're in a different universe
and we switched lives and interests,
we would still be like this.

I have come to terms that
we're just not made for more.
and really, that's okay.

I'm okay.
you're okay.
we're okay.

-m.b

I'm either too happy or too sad.
With him it's like
sunshines and snowstorms,
hot and cold,
young and old,
heaven and hell,
life and death.
There is no in between,
only one extreme
to the other.
I don't know
if I should
blame him or thank him,
hit him or kiss him,
move on or stay,
forget or remember.
He's all of the poems,
songs and stories
I wrote and read about.
He's everything and nothing.

-m.b

Find a person with a broken piece,
I'll hold them and assure them peace.
I say "I'll be here for you, I won't leave
I'll be your anchor, won't let you adrift."

I'm the glue, you see.
I'll fix you for free.
No matter how long it takes;
No matter how rough it gets.

I will fix you when you're undone,
I'm the shield to keep you from harm.
And when you're healed and strong,
this is the part where I don't belong.

Cause I'm the glue, you see.
You'll leave when you're free.
I wish I didn't get too attached, but that's just how it goes.
I'll carry a piece of you and I'll miss you most.

-m.b

The light fell on you in a perfect way;
there isn't a day
where my love for you goes astray.
All our arguments, I kept at bay
so you wouldn't be the one that got away.

-m.b

It was great. The feeling of falling in love. The stories, secrets, goals we shared. The way we held hands while going on dates. It made us feel invincible, like it was just the two of us. I relished every moment we shared.

Then came the break up. I still couldn't get over it. I cry myself to sleep every **** night, asking the same things: How did it went wrong? Where did we started doing things differently? What did I do wrong, that made us broke off? What would happen if I were to turn back time, so we could start all over?

I'm a mess. I couldn't stop crying, bawling and thrashing around on my bed at night, clutching the soft toy you gave me to my chest and the next, throwing it against the wall. It hurts. Every time I try to take the first step to move on, it hurts. Like lava seeping from my feet and slowly to my whole body until I'm unable to breathe. The pain is there. And it burns like hell.

-m.b

That person where you think of when people mention "The One". That person where your heart skips a beat when you see or hear their name. That person where you smile when they start a conversation. That person where you want to wrap your arms around them. That person where you post something online, wishing they would see it. That person where you write every **** thing about. That person where you want to impress so badly. That person where you lie awake, conjuring up different scenarios in your head. That person where you stay up, writing a story or song about. That person you want to share your life with. That person who is the sole inspiration of everything you do. That person. I want them so badly.

-m.b

Rocky*. Everything is rocky.
Waves are crashing below,
The birds, they want to help me.
Oh, my spirits are low.

The ground is slippery;
I'm trying to stand on my own.
Will you be my Calla lily?
In all of your magnificence and
beauty.

I could have chosen a better path
but my heart calls your name.
As thunder shook, I laughed
because you and I, we're insane.

-m.b

He still loves you. Even when you broke his heart by rejecting him many times. I know you didn't expect him to fall this hard for you. I know you felt like you led him on simply because you were confused at a certain time; you felt comfortable that someone cares this much for you, you almost thought you liked him back. However, you realised you didn't feel the same way for reasons you know (or don't) but there's a gut feeling that tells you, you two are not meant to be. And so, with a heavy heart, you rejected him again and again. Softly at first, then harder next. Because he needs to know the truth: you're just not that compatible.

Then you meet someone else. You feel it, don't you? This time it's real. But he's still pining for you. I know you feel the guilt slowly suffocating you when you watch his crestfallen face when he catches you looking at your partner adoringly. I know you feel bad but he'll find someone else. You can't force yourself to like him back, no matter how sweet he is to you. It's a messy, confusing and painful experience but it's inevitable. You just need to give some space for both of you to untangle the knots. Give him time to heal. Eventually both of you will find your own happiness, and you know it isn't from each other. Someday the love he gave you will come back to him in waves and he'll be thankful you rejected him. But for now, it isn't anyone's fault.

-m.b

You're like the sky; and I a fellow flower. I look up to you. Day and night, I watch as the Sun shines on all of us and stars twinkling until dawn comes and sweeps it away. I admire you from afar, among millions of other living things who tries to get your attention. I am lost in the fields and doubts that you'll ever notice my petals that I've groomed myself. As well as my silky leaves and tiny thorns. But let me tell you this; I've followed you for some time and I love you. You're incredible and always so breathtakingly beautiful. I wish you'd notice me some time soon.

-m.b

Think of a wild forest filled with every
Known flower. Sometimes you'd miss it,
But it's there. Cleverly
Hidden among loud ones. It'll hit
You like a comforting wave,
Making you feel happy,
Serene. So very safe.
Maybe it's sappy
But that's how I think
Of her. She's the softest flower.
Always on the brink
Of heaven. The magnetic power
Of lulling you with love, kindness.
She's always there, basking in her own beauty

-m.b

I have braved storms,
I've been stepped on,
I stood next to prettier flowers,
I discovered my powers,
Yet I'm still blooming;
I'm still standing.

I will not pull out my own petals
Just to satisfy an onlooker.

My loved ones, the bees;
They looked over me.
Made sure I have sunshine
and water until I'm fine.
Pulled out my weeds
and gave me all my needs.

You see, I'm the strongest flower;
And I'm still blooming.

-m.b

This boy wears his heart on his sleeve;
Everyone could see what's inside.
He would look at you when you leave
but wouldn't say "Hi" like it's a law to abide.

This boy may seem confident
but he gets nervous easily.
His way of coping it is to dance
and speak so timidly.

This boy wears a mask;
I wonder what goes through his mind.
Not that I would ask.
He's readable but I don't want to know more.

-m.b

So is this how it'll be?
From our first shy conversations,
to discussing our favorite books and songs,
the midnight confessions,
the daily I love yous,
the constant motivation,
the laughing,
the loving,
the missing.

It started with missing.
Time took its toll on us.
We were too busy to talk.
That was okay.
We loved each other still.
We understood.
It's okay.
But it wasn't.

We stopped talking.
We missed each other.
So now it has come to this;
the Sorry, I was busy.
The It's okay. How are you?
The I'm good. What about you?
The That's great to hear. I'm okay.
Then silence.
We moved on.
That's it?
We love each other still right?
We'll rekindle right?
Right?

-m.b

With his short but wavy hair
His face breaking into a happy grin
As he settled himself on a chair,
His tall, lanky body leaning
To one side and held
His girl's hand beside him

Big, brown eyes behind his Ray Ban specs
Thick, dark eyebrows wriggling
As he cracked endless jokes.
His long, skinny legs crossing and folding.

Deep, throaty laugh resonates the room
When she tickled his ribs.
He's the dark night and she is his moon
I watched them without a single peep.

He's the kind of guy
That I've always wanted
But would never look my way.

-m.b

Like preschool children during breaktime, my thoughts chase each other in super speed*. Running around in circles with never-ending energy. Even at times when my mind should be resting, I think a lot and even when I know I should be sleeping, even more ideas pop into my head at the darkest of hours. I spend so much time thinking that I usually space out in real life. But honestly, I prefer spending time with myself and indulge in books. Being with people would end up with me being disappointed. I expect too much and in the end, I'll get hurt. Better to imagine than experiencing it though.

-m.b

"Write a poem for me," you said.
I couldn't so I quietly declined.
I watched you as you stepped around,
Slashing your paper sword in and out.

"Okay then, I'll make one," you said.
You stopped moving and concentrated,
Frowning. She teased you and you told
her to keep quiet, to which she did.

It was nearly 5pm and it was raining softly.
We waited for you patiently,
Then words started spilling from your mouth.
Indeed you made a poem with us as your eager crowd.

It was almost therapeutic, man.
With your gentle voice blending in the rain;
Like warm honey trickling under the Mediterranean sun.
Who would've thought that we'd be friends?

-m.b

She was quiet. I never knew she had so much on her shoulders. All the hurt and aggravation she carried around. So I was shocked when she confessed how she felt all this time. She's a quiet, ticking bomb that was waiting to explode. The things she told me scared me. I have no right to interfere and I'm scared where she kept so safely hidden from the world. It's massively terrifying.

-m.b

You might have thought
by now I'll be cured.
But I'm a broken piece;
you and I will never be pleased.

-m.b

Hello, how are you?
It's been a while.
I miss you. I really do.
I tried to reach out
but you never responded.
I hope I didn't
do anything wrong.
It hurts. A lot.
Whenever I tried
but you'd leave me on read.

I have so many things
to share with you.
I've grown and experienced
new things but couldn't tell you.
Cause it feels like
I'm speaking to a brick wall.
I feel dumb sometimes;
Getting excited and all
but you never respond.
I guess you need some space.

So if that's what
you need, I understand.
I'll give you that;
time and some space.
Know that I'm always here
if you need anyone.
You know I'm always happy
to have a reunion.
I just wish you could
tell me you're safe and sound.

-m.b

I don't know if I'm moving on. I don't know if I'll ever move on from you. You're like a childhood tree house that's been found, but I've lost memories of ever residing in it. I didn't know you at first but after getting to know you, it's like the memories are clicking into place. A mix of nostalgia and false memories. Now I can't go on without wanting a taste of that again. Before you, I didn't know what I was missing. But now that I've found you; now that we share this bond, I can't bear the thought of letting you go. To me, you're like the essential part of me. My hiraeth.

-m.b