Hair from black to brown
to pink to purple to blue
to brown to black then white.

Achievements printed,
ink on paper.

Another face on
the subway,
another student
graduated from school.

Water drank,
food digested.
Night and day.

Clothes bought, worn,
washed, tossed aside.

Death craved
but feared
the most.

How am I grateful
but never satisfied?
I am so sorry.
It never does make sense.

-m.b

Your bones were literally
pressed hard against my throat
and I, gasping for air,
was still worried that my
loving arms was going to
hurt you.
How does that make sense?
Somehow, thinking rationally
was never my strongest
suit whenever I'm with
you.

-m.b

How are you able to turn
a sweet fragrance
into a toxic fume?

How are your beautiful promises
then are now ugly lies;
deafening both of us?

-m.b

You left. I know.
My friends tried to soften the blow
but I turned a blind eye,
hoping I could save my
heart from being torn to shreds.
There are no regrets.
Or so I keep telling myself.

I don't want to know
why or how or
when you left,
knowing it'll cut deep
and I'm just not ready for that.

Remember when I wasn't even
interested in you at first but then
I fell and you caught me mid-air
and I've loved you since?
I loved you before and I always will.
Even if I'm hurting, still.
You'll never leave the messy crevices of my mind.
For you are so beautiful, loving and kind.
We're not likely to meet again
but I really hope you'd catch me one last time.

-m.b

It's getting quiter and it gets a little lonely sometimes.
But I keep drawing on the walls.
Hoping someone will stumble upon me;
The way you did.
And maybe I'll break free from the castle I created for myself.
But for now I like my brick walls.
It keeps me safe.

-m.b

Remember when we used to chat all the time?
All the sweet words you kept raining on me.
That my brain keeps telling me
No no no. Don't fall for him. Don't.
Run. Save yourself.
But no.
I read your words.
I heard them.
Wanting so badly to believe.
I did.
Blindly letting you lead the way.
And in the darkness I was drunk on your sweet, sweet words.
Then you pulled away.
Letting me roam and bump and fall and scrape myself.
With bruises and cuts and you
Never. Once. Helped. Me.
I lay helplessly on the ***** floor.
Messy and sticky with your then sweet promises.
If I see you again,
I want you to repeat all your words.
See how you like it now.
See how you can say it straight to my face.
All the empty promises.
All the fake confessions.
I hope you choke on them.
I really hope you choke on them.

-m.b

I was at the train station and heard someone sneezed.
It sounded like you so
I whipped my head in that direction,
craning my neck
to look for a familiar outline.
This city is big but
I was hoping that
the world would be small enough
so I can see you again.
It's been way too long.
I miss you.

-m.b