The joke was on me all along
I was blind to the signs and deaf to the reasoning cries
Yet I can not become numb to the pain you have inflicted on my wounded big heart
A fool for wearing it on my sleeve for all those to see
It must have caught your deceiving little eyes because you came and took it by storm
You ran fast with it in your hands
You thought you would try me out and take me for a spin
It all happened so quick the I love yous and want to be with you
I should have known they were just empty words coming from your red hot lips
You are the snake in the tall grass
You slithered your cold blooded self into my heart only to rip it apart

She doesn't deserve the tears that fall from my swollen bloodshot eyes.
I don't deserve the overwhelming burning pain I feel in my chest.
I wanted so badly so desperately to believe that this time it would be different.
I thought she was sincere when she held my hand.
What happened to " my heart to you?"
We use to spend endless hours together, nothing else mattered.
Now it has become a vast empty space, nothing seems to fill this void.
Nothing but lies when she spoke of sharing our lives.
I hoped it to be true, but here I am standing in a puddle of sorrow feeling lonely and blue.
Disappointed in myself for holding on to false hope.
She made me believe in her, but all my heart does now is bleed for her.
She doesn't deserve the tears that fall from my swollen bloodshot eyes.

From one girl to the next nothing seems to change but her face and name
Their all the same with their hair makeup and fake fingernails
They deceive without remorse mislead with false hope
Fill my head with their lies
Always coming to me with their fake cries
Their quick to flip a switch and turn their backs
Good at playing the part
Nothing ever took place
I'm nothing but their ***** shame
Straight girl was never really that way
In the public eye she's all about the boys and guys
Behind closet doors she wondered about the girls
I make it easy
We play hard and fall hard
Straight girl was never really that way
Quick to flip a switch and walk away

I see you in pictures of days long gone past
I see you when my eyes are shut
Whether a place a smell or a song I see you in my mind smiling bright
At night when I'm blessed enough you visit me in my dreams I tell you about  my adventures  my happiness and my sorrows
Sometimes you appear just for a quick grin and warm embrace
I look into your soft eyes I stare at your face I miss your ear to ear smile
I want to cry scream yell shout smash just breakdown
Questions left unanswered things you didn't get to accomplish
A future he didn't get to live a life not fully lived
An age he didn't make it to
The plan was to grow old witness our lives progress
Watch our children's children grow
Soo many things left undone untold
I will forever treasure the memories we shared together
Whether we are happy mad or sad in our hearts you will never be last


A 2009

Take it all
Take my heart
Take my love
Take my soul
I don't need it anymore
These are the things I can live without


A 2013

Thank you for nothing because that is exactly
what you did for me nothing
Except leave this burning hole in my chest
that causes me pain every time I take a breath
It has become a constant reminder
that most of us will always live in pain
**** it hurts but I will not cry
I hate that I let you steal all the light from my once bright life
Its been nothing but cold and dark
Since then I have been struggling to find my way back through the blinding darkness
Crawling on my hands and knees I don't want to get up and continue to fall anymore
Sad to say that I feel safe on the cold wet floor

A 2013

It makes my heart skip a beat every time were in the same room
Not a hi not a hey how you doing
Nothing but the shrug of a cold shoulder
She struts she taunts
She really must think she's hot stuff
All I want to do is **** on her already lit fire
How dare she say she misses me after she took it upon herself to simply nonchalantly dismiss me
I never meant a **** thing
She carries herself around like queen b
I must of never realized that I was just a mere peasant in her heart break kingdom
Never one to beg steal or borrow I thought I could do without

A 2013

I feel like death is standing over me
A half filled glass of tequila, the worse killer
I tried drowning out my sorrows
I took a dive in a half filled liquor bottle
The sounds the images the memories will not drown, they've learned to swim
I cant drink quick enough
I am like a fish out of water
I gasp for a drink as I struggle to swallow a fresh breath of air

A 2013

I felt my heart break into a million little pieces each one carrying a feeling a memory an emotion
I could not catch them quick enough
I felt a sucker punch to my stomach
I couldn't breathe I gasped for air yet I do not want to be alive
I felt my tears forming in my eyes
I felt them stream down my rosy cheeked face like a flowing river in the summer
I felt my body shake and crumble
I am no longer the brave person I once knew anymore I have become lost

She Doesnt see it but i hurt too
Everyday its a struggle to keep a fake smile plastered on my face
like "hey everything is okay"
When the truth is im breaking down on the inside trying to hide my tears and all my fears
Im broken and there isnt enough glue or bandages in the world to put me back together
She had become the mold that kept me all together