A kindly heart, a hardened soul - the world has wrought to make it so, and though with love you'd hope to find equivalent hearts of those as kind, you're left with naught 'cause what you'll find is twisted up and shoved inside a decaying soul and broken mind comprised of pain and stalled out time.

Like shards of glass from symphonies, their hearts shriek out their shattered dreams, and while that pain you met with love, your olive branch brought on by dove, they shot it down and watched it die, and with that stick they drew a line, dividing ground and erecting walls, for a lonely castle with empty halls. Closing gates and closing minds, to the outside world, to the great divines. Leaving words on bated breath, their ringing ears have now gone deaf, the love you sought is now bereft, and the wars you'll wage are all that's left.

And as you sit here looking back, you long for that which to retract, and wonder why you'd even tried, for the love in you has likewise died.

For you I hope this isn't true, but for the rest, it's all we knew, yet clinging still to fleeting hope, while knowing dread is all she wrote. Like ash to ash turn dust to dust, my heart of hearts is likewise crushed, and in the end I can only cry, as I lay here bleeding... waiting simply, to die.

10/11/2015

Edit: 10/01/2018

No matter how you travel -- be it far, be it wide, be it firmly on ground or soaring through sky, you'll never escape its discerning eyes, the pain, the misery, the veiled lies.

The past is quick and ever weeping, waiting, watching, stealthily creeping. Ever faster, making haste, no matter how you've kept your pace. The fear so clear upon your face, with sweat on brow your heart does race, while thoughts so mired in your disgrace dance through your mind while leaving trace of things you've done, of things you've said, of those you've left now laying dead. Of how you quake, of hearts you break, the nightmare from which you'll never wake. And yet you run, try to escape, to no avail for it's too late. Cuz there's no rest for men like us, we'll turn to ash and fade to dust, but until that moment, until we faint, until we meet our haunting fate, we'll strive for glory, we'll burn, flame on! Until we fizzle... until we're gone.

04/23/2015

Edit: 10/1/18

Waking up, another day, another sip to drown the pain, but **** it all and let it drain, and down it pours like falling rain. I do it all yet all in vain just like a ****** into their veins; to get a rush, emotions flushed, their minds they cleanse, it never ends.

Another hit, another bump, another shot I'm waking up. Hit me hard, hit me now, just one more, just let me drown. I crave escape, I cannot wait, the demons wail, hot on my trail, in my pursuit they never fail. My thoughts collapse, I'm feeling trapped, my true potential remains untapped.

A complete disgrace, the years erased, and through it all I cannot face, the things I've said and things I've done, the pathetic man that I've become. To those I've known, those I've loved, to parents who miss their fading son; just me forget, I won't regret, no consequence I'll ever fret.

Just one last drink and I'll be fine, disillusioned lullabies, to keep me safe, keep me warm, I only need what I've come to scorn, but such is life and so I'll fade, like a distant sun when cometh rain, just one last time to cleanse the pain, an empty shell, all that remains.

05/10/2015