In Winter passing ..comes the Sun
For Winter Touches Everyone
From Darkened Skies ... to Everbright
Through Morning .. Afternoon and Night
Walk in Shadows ...that dissipate
Touched by Sunlight .. Do Not Wait
To Dwell in Darkness ... To Be Consumed
For then your Soul is surely Doomed.

How weak are you?... Mortal Being living blind ..never seeing ?
That which is ..pushed out of sight ..
Extinguish .. hope ... the guiding light
Darkness gripped your very soul
When you fell down the rabbit hole ?
The tunnel deep .. as it is wide
No hope for you ...Your life has died ....
A death by drink me ... eat me do ?
The Hatter was your friend so true
He tried to save you from yourself
But You drank the bottles on the shelf ?

You chose your fate ..  time too late !
In Sleep there is no rest ...
Follow sheep to slaughter sheds
You know you failed life's test
Time and motion .. follow suit ?
Beware that taste of rotten fruit
How weak are you ?... mortal being
Living blind ... and Never seeing ?.

Demons are above me... Demons are below
Demons in her mind ?... she said ..
Demons i will show ..
For nevermore...
the sun will shine ?
Abuse is all i'll know ..
Into a pool of blood ..she said
watch the piggies go... !!

I'll Stay For One Drink ...
Or Just Maybe Two ?..
And On My Home .. I'll Run into you
I Thought it was Harmless ...
I needed a drink...
Never Thought it Would Happen ?
I just Didn't Think ..
I'm Sorry I'm Selfish
I Ended Your Years
Your parents now childless
Your Family in Tears
Now i Sit In This Prison
This Small Tiny Cell
No Life ..But Existing
I'm Already in Hell
If Only i'd Thought
And Stayed Home Instead ?
I Wouldn't be Locked up
You Wouldn't Be Dead
I Thought it Was Harmless ?
I Just Needed a Drink..
Never Thought it Could Happen ?
I Just Didn't Think .

Today i didn't feel too well ...
I awoke and find myself in Hell
Twas of your making.. dark and deep
Thoughts of monsters .. in they creep
All these monsters in my mind ...
Keep me silent .. keep me blind
But i swear one day i shall break free ?
When someone does believe in me ?

If love is true ?
Then love is you
Love does what it wants to do ?
It's sometimes pink ?.. but sometimes blue ?
If love is you ?
Then love is true.

I love you with all that i am ?
But i'm not enough ..
I need to be more ?
Than i could ever be
In your eyes ...
I love you with all that i'm not ?
But i am loyal .. faithful .. true
I want to be more
So you will love me ?
In my eyes ....
you are all i have ?
But i am not enough
Are you?

Two people sat and talked a while ...
Upon a bench .. the sun did smile
I loved her like a summer day
But time took my true love away
I sat there with her hand in mine
Her beauty pure as aged wine
A memory lingers still....
Now all that's left is winters chill.

Bruise my Tears ... i won't forgive you
Taint my years ... i wont forgive you
Quell my fears ... i'll always love you
I shall place no ... one above you
Feed my heart ... to never hunger
Make this love ... each day grow stronger
Never push my... love aside
Make recompence ... for times you lied
Or suffer in the ... deepest hell
From up on high ... to earth i fell
To save you from ... Chaos sight
And Change your Darkness ... into light.

It was on a day .... December?
Held embraced within it's death
The seasons icy breath
Like yesterday ... remember ?
the sun had left me stranded
Which was somewhat underhanded
To be left again ...alone ... i shall not weep

Though i knew time was fleeting ...
An Angel sent a  greeting .....
She stayed to bring me comfort
In this loneliest of hours...

Through hours that were bliss
She warmed me with her kiss
As i drifted into sleep ....
My heart she said she'd always keep ....
in a locket

And as her light began to fade
Overtaken by the shade
I won't resist .. my time is past
I know the answer now ...  at last  
I am at peace.

The heart wants ...
But the head is strong
resist ...resist
build a wall from broken glass
cement it with dissolvable paste
because you never know ....
who might come ...with a heart that wants
The heart wants ...
But the head is strong
Obey ...obey
and walk away
But always leave a paper trail
because you never know ...
Who may follow ...with a heart that wants
The heart wants ....
But the head says ' No '
defy ...defy
Because the head may lie
To make the heart suffer
And slowly die
The heart wants ...
But the eyes can see
what the head is missing
from it's memory
The heart wants ....
To love again
Abstinence is worse than pain
To my heart that wants.

My love i take a moment ... to ponder ... here we are ?
The essence of ..... all that i am ?...so near and yet so far ?
I have these walls around me that i cannot be without
But i love you every single day ... be sure ...there is no doubt
The world may turn and yet it feels as though i'm standing still
Just waiting for the time to pass ..i'll wait for you until ...
And yet it seems eternity has took control of time ?
How long have i lay frozen ?...a simple melody a .... chime
Echoes in an empty room ..... a ghostly vision becomes... clear
You have returned at last my love.... and yet i feel the fear
You are so cold ? when once the warmth was always... part of you
Sadly faded ever more .. the love that i once knew.

People often ask me ' do you have a wife ? ...girlfriend ?
I tell them that i'm single , yes ..i know it's not the trend
But i would much rather be happy and live alone just with my cat
Than be with a controlling freak or a boring.... lazy tw@t
I often act quite silly , spontaneous and free
Happy and uncomplicated ...marriage ?...not for me !!
Don't get me wrong , i love to love and do so with my heart
Genuine , affectionate ?...i've been that from the start
Trouble is ..i've met too many fakesters , selfish users
Money grabbing nasty gits , lazy, boring , boozers !!
Lie-ing turds , compulsive flirts & one's that are not true
It's not a case of you & me , it's more like ..you & you
One day i'm sure i'll meet someone that feels the same as me
And none of this will matter ...then lovers we shall be
Until then i guess i'll stay as one and live as i see fit
You see it's as the saying goes..'if it's not broke..then don't fix it.

My dear you gave me a **** attack !
Indeed i'm gassed up from your snack
Some curry laced with heinz baked beans !!
And i don't know just what it means ?
I sit here waiting filled with awe ! ...full of gas ...please no more !
FAAAARRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT !!!!!!!! ..oh lord please help me do !!
I can't go on ...i need a poo !!
Now i'm stuck here , on the bog... for ages trying to end this log !!
I'm drained ..i'm strained and really sore ...i'm never gonna eat no more : (

Theres a hole in my heart not my head
Theres a heart in my whole that is dead
Theres a head in my heart and it said...
"Theres a whole lot of heart that is bled !!"
Gone gone gone away ...she loved once but couldn't stay ?
Fell to my knees ... began to pray...
please someone please...
Take the pain away
For i loved and i lost but i gain
The more i gain... so the loss...shall remain
But the loss is a whole lot of pain
So i'll love you no more ...i refrain
Blank ...Delete...Erase....... All better now  : )

Holding by fingertips until just out of view
As the rain came down i felt something new
While laughter echoed in a cold hollow place
An Angel she whispered of loves true embrace
So we sat in the moonlight on a warm summers eve
Then danced in the sunlight never wanting to leave
How we grew....How we knew.... of love then.

Some days i feel like i'm dying
I wake up but i'm never really awake...you know ?
I see the world in a dim light that never seems to get any brighter
People amass together in a blur of colour , yet i am ...alone...monochrome
With only my cat for company..but she is enough in all her honesty

Thoughts are just thoughts without action
Like mist not becoming fog ...just an offspring of sorts
Another day passes through whilst the clock keeps count
Seconds , minutes , hours , days , months,....years !
Time flies but stays the same......stagnant pools of void

Where am i ?  in a life without life ?
Existing on automatic pilot with the battery running low
In a life my parents gave me but i never had a choice in
Why wasn't i asked to be conceived ?....selfish !!

Actions are just thoughts played out..without thought
But who is the one that suffers the consequence of an impulsive mind ?
Questions upon questions upon questions....upon questions
Shut down and sleep...
Tomorrow's blank page awaits ...........colour me.

I don't want someone that i cannot have
Because hearts were not made to be broken
I love you can be the powerful words
And should never be untruly spoken ...!!

Within his icy palace
In a world covered with snow
On a throne as clear as crystal glass
Sat  jack frost that we know
With hair of spikey icicles
And pale white skin so cold
This tale of when he met the sun
Is about now to be told...

As jack sat there in silence
Through the window came a glow
He tried to guess just what it was
But really had to know ?

So frosty opened up the door
To see what could be found ?
Stood puzzled by the sight he saw
Of puddles on the ground ?

Curious and curious he stepped into the light
He felt a little strange at first but seemed to be allright
After a life of being chilled and always being cold
This was a new sensation so he addressed the sun so bold...
" Your warmth oh  how it changes me and makes me feel anew...
Please shine your golden rays on me and warm my body through "

The sun gleamed down and spoke a truth !
That jack frost surely felt...
" Your'e foolish if you choose to stay for you will surely melt !"
"Oh! cried jack frost in that case i'll quickly take my leave
And ran back through the palace door and closed it with a heave !!

Then jack frost sat back on his throne and pondered for a while
"Thankyou Sun i was a fool !" and grinned a warming smile !

I don't care 'bout' grammar
'***' grammar don't care 'bout' me
Poo to punctuation
Poo with a big 'P'ee
Write it as you find it
Word it as you say
Make it real ...as you feel
So text police ...go away !

I guess it's '***' i'm lazy
Not bothered and ' so there'
So i'll write it as i 'fink' it
You don't like it ? ...i don't care !

Hey Cupid are you Stupid ?
I wanted someone nice !
Not someone cold , to have and hold
Not someone made of ice !!

Hey Cupid ...f@kin Stupid !!!
Your'e not really qualified
To find a girl that's right for me ?
In fact you f@kin lied !!!
You done me up a bad one
She's crazy !!...yes it's true
But i'm gonna get some justice done
And fix her up with you !!!

Love a long lost memory and best forgotten true
Of unrequited love i shared , my heart i gave to you
And everyday at sunrise i praised the world we met
And everynight at sundown... gave love.. i now regret
The ties that bound us loosely were undone throughout loves seam
Now i wonder as i sleep alone was it all a dream ?

She's gone she's gone and rolled away !
Miss fattymus she couldn't stay
She rolled on fast downside a hill
Twas when she smelt food on the grill
Bacon sausage burgers too...
Oh what's a big fat girl to do ?
Too tempting tasty... yum yum yum
watch out belly here it come
She eats her fill then eats some more
Until theres no room left to store
Then suddenly she feels unwell
As her belly it begins to swell
The pressure builds inside her gut
And finds it's way down to her ****
Her greediness right from the start
Has built up an almighty ****
And now she's gone ..yes it's true
she blasted off as rockets do !
I doubt that we shall see her soon
Because she landed on the moon !

I am not here to cook and clean
Not make a mess and flee the scene
I think you'll find it's not much fun
When others tend to eat and run
I don't eat much and watch my weight
No greasy fry-ups on my plate
I much prefer to keep my size
And i manage that by eating wise !!

When you look at me with love
That is all i am ...and want to be
Captured in your eyes like a safe room
Where the bad things cannot go

When you tell me that i am worth much more than i feel
I am invincible and always want to be
You hold me up from a world that would beat me down
You keep my head high and my heart strong
You are the strength that gives me hope and courage
To face unmeasurable odds and know that i cannot lose
Such is love's power.

Now here is a poem that rings of the truth
It's something that happens to many in youth

Don't go getting caught in life's normal mundane trap
of children and debt and mortgages... all that crap !!
For youth is upon you "who cares ? live for now
Go drink and be merry like you think you know how ?
For when you are older , your mind it may go !
and yearn for the days that you were too young to know
So drink and be merry until you're defenseless and lost
and suffer indignities...bare the full cost !!
when medics may take you to a hospital bed
where monitors flatline a tone for the dead
So drink and be merry take drugs and be cool ?
Do what they do for you're really no fool ?
What's said is now said and before i do go
i think theres something that you already know
Binge drinking and drugs are really not nice
it's certainly not free and you WILL pay the price
So drink and be merry if that lifestyle you know ?
of senseless and stupid with nothing to show
and go have a tattoo...a large ' L' on your head
Are you Loser ? or Learner ?...winner instead ?

THE CHOICE IS YOURS ? !!!

Just another day..... past
A list of words i wanted to say..but left in silence
I steal a kiss or three or four
A smile the sun shines evermore...you are beautiful
Your perfume seems to linger still
Upon the sheets i sleep my fill...but still feel empty
Awake me not until you stay
Unless i dream my life away...a dream of you is a gift to me
Just another day..... present
We are the lovers with secrets we don't tell
Of how we broke our hearts...how far from heaven we fell
Just living in the moment...not caring...consequences ache
What we denied of love...we hide...we lied was our mistake
Just another day ..... future
I miss you so much these days when the nights are dark and cold
And the loneliness won't leave my side it seems to take my soul
To somewhere i don't want to be ..and though we deny...i know
We walked away from what we had .... but never have let go.

The void avoid ... and so she lied
I sat and cried as my heart died
To love no more...or her adore
Of this i swore....

And then another came my way
Upon a cloudy winters day
With hair of gold and eyes of blue
She swore to me ...she would be true

The void avoid but then... she lied
I sat and cried as my heart died.

The shallow world around me
Those... are sold to tempting charms
As i return again once more for love
To lay down in your arms
When hell is cold as winter
And heaven dark as night
The warmth i feel within you
For me a... shining light
The touch of love a haven
As i rest my weary head
I fill my heart with strength anew
" I love you now" she said.

If i fell would you catch me ?
Would you wrap me in your love ?
If i were broken , would you fix  me ?
Not with sellotape ..with love ?
If i were lost , would you find me ?
And take me... home with you ?
If i were worn out , would you fix me ?
And make me feel brand new
would you ?...would you ?....would you ?

If i built a wall around me
Would you wait for me outside ?
Or would you climb the wall to reach me ?
In this place now .. where i hide
Would you ?...would you ?...could you ?.

" If you are gonna ask me out, i'm gonna say no !"
That's what i was told by her not long ago...
You see i gave her a compliment because i think she's quite fine
With her beautiful smile and her hair with it's shine
I was taken aback because it was out of the blue
And was not quite sure just what i should do ?
So i replied " now just hold on the thought never crossed my mind !"
But then gave it some thought and this thought i did find
Although i was shot down and my chances not good
If she asked me to date her ?...i probably would !!.
conclusion......
It's funny how people can put thoughts in your head
Just from your actions or things that you've said
Assuming assumptions, misunderstandings...anew
But thanks for the thought now i'm thinking of you.

Tiggy is my little cat she's mostly grey and fairly fat
With large green eyes and a small pink nose and a wiggly tail..heaven knows
Stripes and spots and a cheeky grin, sometimes she's out , sometimes she's in
No interest in the neighbourhood mogs but scared of vacuum's not of dogs
She chases flies and red dots too ... my little bouncy tiggy roo !

When i looked at you i saw myself ...Reflected in your eyes
I saw the world the one i made, where now an old man cries
For all good things come to an end in this journey we call life
You were my love, my one true friend, my partner and my wife
But you lay within the darkness now , so silent and so cold
I tend the flowers on your grave , the memories i fold...
Into a box i call my heart and always it shall be
To sit alone upon a shelf, this missing part of me.

I sit here and i ponder...does the heart grow fonder ?
Of someone that you miss...or truly long to kiss ?
Or someone that you care for..no whys ? or hows ? or wherefore ?
Am i for art thou romeo ?...whilst beauty sleeps does love grow ?
Oh would you love me more ?...give me all the love you store ?
If i travelled far away... for a year or just a day ?
To a land where **** trees grow...yes ?... i really need to know ?
Since we parted long awhile...the thing i miss most is your smile : )
And the ***...oh the ***....definitely the *** !!!...lol

Dear Heart ,
i write to remind you....
That each day is a new day and not to dwell upon the past
Don't let loss or disappointment deter you from the love you so deserve
I know that we have not always agreed on things
But i only make decisions to protect you
For if you should be broken then what am i to do ?

With love from    
Brain **

Rain rain go away !
Only come back when i say !
why ? because you've soaked me through !
I'm all wet and so are you !
Remember everything i've said !
until then i'll spend the day in bed !

A summers day ...we're floating and bloating ..you and i
we're bloating and a floating and waving as we cry ...
we're crying as we're floating and a cloud is passing by
I ask it "are you gloating ? " at my bloating friend and i ?

"Dear sir" replied the cloud that was a floating up on high
I see so many bloaters and so many as they try..
to understand the nature of a floater floating by ?
Is such a wonderous thing and now.. i bid you sir "goodbye" !

A moonlit night we're floating and bloating you and i
We pass the moon the stars all swoon.."good evening" as we cry..
And as we float the endless sky..and never knowing why ?
we're floating and a bloating ...floating you and i

When i thought that i was thinking
But truly thought that i could not
It was the thinking of the thought
That thought that thinking i was not
And although i was not thinking
That i thought i thought it through
But in thinking through the thinking
The thought i think i thought was new.

Little miss surrender took a gamble...lost
some are wise...see through the lies
Whilst Others bare the cost ..
You reaped the fake-ness merchant's sow
His empty grand illusion
Intelligence would surely know, The trick they call confusion ?
No sympathy, stability , you bought it on yourself
If stupidity was cash in hand, your burden would be wealth
Better smash the mirror your youthfulness is gone
To someone with much better sense...but once you were the one
The choice is just a memory, a was once happy day
Now mother goose hangs by a noose, While smarter children play.

Sleep it took you
The sleep that is eternal
Into the darkness from the light
I would of joined you but..
Fear you are already gone !
And didn't leave a forwarding address ?

p.s.. Kitty says " Bye !"

I saw you again today
And she looked like you do
I froze in the doorway
I couldn't step through
The feelings i had..stomach a knot
I loved you...i love you...
I thought i'd forgot.

Why ?... i stood by you through the years
Did... you choose to treat me this way ?
You... have no conscience and shed no tears
Do...you realise what you have done today ?
This... is not the first time i'm used for your ends
To... forgive you again is not in me anymore
Me...and you are no longer friends
?... and so goodbye.... i've closed the door.

I was out walking.. through the jungle one day
When i got to a secluded spot i heard a voice did say ...
"Tooki tookie tonga... white man you... grab him by da bonga's... put him in da stew "!
I stood there feeling scared by this little man's yell, so i turned about then Pooped myself and... ran like hell
Blinded by the sunshine that was caught up in my eyes
I was Tripped up by a creeper... oooh ! nasty sore surprise !
My face got stung by nettles... ouching in my fall
In the distance ... getting closer... i could hear the bonga's call
"Tooki tookie tonga... dinner on the way... yummy in my tummy... you is here to stay
Losing sight of consciousness i woke up... in their *** !
The bonga's danced around me... my bottom getting hot
"Tooki tookie tonga ... dumplings in da stew... dragged here by da bonga's...  now we gonna eat you !

Jelly in my wellie wobble-ing like a belly
Jelly in my wellie squashed between my toes
Lime flavoured jelly that was kinda smelly
How it got in there ? no one knows !

Today's the day..i'm gonna..... find myself again
The day now has begun ..to search..for sunshine and not rain
The rust of life ..be rid of..the rot of doubt to grind
This twisted mental wreckage, smoothing bumps ..straighten.... unwind
The length of thoughts that bind me..like a rope without a knot
This shallow pool that drowns me.... dredging things ...i want forgot
No desire ..for keepsakes... these are all things ...i have outgrown
Switching off the negatives..before the fuse has ...blown

I spy with my little eye...something begining with ...life : )

It seems that me and cupid
Have fallen out again
Because i called him ' stupid'
Because he caused me pain
Now if your'e gonna side with him
Then thats your choice ..i guess !
But when he meddles without consent
Of mine , he makes a mess !!!

How many times does he need ?
Will he ever ..get it right ?
Find 'my love' the truest of
Instead of all this *****  :( !!!

Love has gone.. .where i dont go
It was devoured is all i know
Lost another to the lie
Hurtfull memories ...i deny
I put them in a tiny box
With ribbons held like satin locks
To open maybe ..never more
Makes me wonder ..whats love for ?.

I see her and i want her
As minutes tick away
Minutes into hours
Hours into days

I need her love..is reason
The captured heart that leads the way
Her kindness warmth now healing me
Without her i decay

This time true love becomes me
My body , mind and soul
In thoughts and deed
She is the seed
With her i am now whole

In love we lay together
Two hearts as one day after day
I live and breathe for all she is
Forever hers....i stay.

Be careful what you wish for..
For those who know...it's true
And yet i knew..you did not care
Still then... i wished for you

I offered out my open arms
To catch you as you fell
I offered you my heaven
you turned it into HELL
And everyday grew darker
The lies eclipsed the sun
It was a death by innocence
That caused the tears to run
Tortured bled by demons
Lost in fire,consumed by pain
I made a vow..a lesson learned
To not be ignorant again...

Be careful what you wish for
For those who know...it's true
The pleasure in a wish... was lost
A fool once wished for you .

England's not America..Why make england that way ?
Children fighting from the day they're born ..the sound of gunshots everyday.....

So you wanna be a gangsta ?
Gangbangin in da hood ?
With yo ******* and drug money ?
Families murdered in cold blood ?

The life of a gangsta !
Do you want what it's about ?
Not knowing when a driveby
Is gonna take you out ?

Hangin with yo homeboys
Is that your idea of fun ?
Dealing in the crack *******
Killin brothers with your gun ?

Where you raised in the ghetto ?
Sick of poverty .. decay
Is crime the only answer ?
If you want to break away

So you become a gangsta
And be the badass every day
Do you think that you could handle it
If your friends got blown away ?

What if....
Suddenly you're out there ..alone but with your gun
Another gang has spotted you...there's nowhere you can run!
You have to take your chances .. squeeze off , maybe 2 or 3..
And the litter on the pavement ..is the last thing that you see !

Live a life of violence ..
Is that what you wanna do ?
One day you are the mainman
Next ..they've got the jump on you ?

So what if you're a gangsta !
And the life you start to doubt
You're older , you got children
And decide that you want out ?

But when you are a gangsta
It does'nt go away ...
You helped create the **** you're in
And the **** is here to stay !

Still wanna be a gangsta ?
I hope you've thought it through
Theres no sanctuary in violence
Death's the ticket out for you

So think about your future
The decision is yours to make
Look what's happened in America
Don't make the same mistake !!