A man got out the lift today
He'd dropped a **** ..then walked away
I did'nt smell it..until i stepped in
But on his face .. he'd worn a grin
So there was i...trapped with this gas
That he'd let rip from out his ***
So now i always take the stairs
So i wont get gassed unawares.

Staring from the window.. i see Light distanced on the path
Everything exhausted now.. in daylights aftermath
A shadow of a structure.. as deep as it is wide
A haven for the unseen.. a place in which to hide
The rain has come to wash away .. the filth upon the path
Everything seems cleaner now.. in daylights aftermath
Twelve fifteen ...past midnight.. a day begun anew
A water washed gloss canvas .. from this window i see through
Nothing moves .. all is still.. within this photograph
Everything is peacefull now .. in daylights aftermath .

I awakened
From the longest sleep.... that was my life
I saw for the first time .. the world
How beautiful life could be .. as you held me in your arms
Like a blind man in the dark .. no vision , no picture ...

You taught me to love
And to be myself ...
You gave me the Strength to keep the world away..
when it takes too much from me

I love you ...
And yet it is more than that ..
There is no word.. just this feeling that i have
Like a constant smile inside of me

Believe in Angels and ...
They shall believe in you .

Big ones , little ones ... curly ones too !
Lots of funny animals living in the zoo
Big curly toenails , long arms to the floor
Sliding up and down a rope , skid along the floor
Fast ones , slow ones ... some that hardly move
Some that seem to sleep allday..
And some that really Groove !!

Across the bridge  i saw you
I waved .. it was a sunny day
A gust of wind then came along
And blew you clean away !!

It plopped you in the river
You climbed out on the muddy bank
And as i watched your boot came off
And in the mud ... it sank

You grabbed a branch to pull you up
But then you lost your grip
You slipped and somehow caught your blouse
That made a great big rip

Another gust of wind then blew
your hat then ...  left your head
And tumbled down the slippery *****
Into the river it ... sped

You made your way onto the bridge
A little worse for wear
I ran to kindly greet you
But you flew into the air

The wind had picked you up again
To grab you ...  i did try
you floated off into the blue
So i waved to you ...goodbye !

My car is up for sale
It's parked outside the flat
The last prospective buyer said" What a pile of tat !!"
I know it's no ferrari
And in a race it's always beat
I had to fend off scrapmen !!
When i parked it down the street
It's not really all that bad
Once you clean off all the dust
It's true it needs a re-spray
To cover up the the rust
I admit i had an accident
And it hasn't any lights
But the fanbelt is pretty new
Made from a pair of tights !
It failed the emission test
The M.O.T man said " it's scrap !!"
And when he turned the steering wheel
It fell off in his lap !
To call my car a ' nail'
Doesn't seem quite fair
I prefer the term ' quite eye catching'
Because people stop and stare !
So if you think your'e interested
Give me a call and view today !
I can put it in some carrier bags
For you to take away !

Once i met a mummy
Whose pride got hurt real bad
He'd failed to reach the toilet
It got him pretty mad !

It must be quite frustrating
Being bandaged head to toe
And having to unwrap himself
Each time he needs to go

And then when he has  finished
He has to wrap himself again
If he's  got the diarrhoea
It must drive him insane !!

And if he doesn't make it
And he has to walk round wet
And he stands next to a heater
And The smell.. he wont forget

So if you meet a mummy
And he's groaning down at you
Be kind and show some sympathy
He's failed to reach the loo !

Shyness is my prison
Your love the only key
It's bars are made of silence
Only you can set me free

I sit tongue tied and lonely
Help my sentence now to cease
If you want me .. you  must give me
A sure way of release

A kiss a touch a promise
And i know i would be yours
Love it knows no boundaries
It's true .. can open doors

Silence is not golden
For me it is a curse
I want to say ' i love you'
In my mind the words rehearse

As i watch you from this prison
Will my chance just slip away ?
No chance to be your lover
Why ?..  three words... i cannot say

For shyness is my prison
Your love the only key
It's bars are made of silence
Be my saviour .. set me free.

What's that on the pavement ?
It's another shoe !
Not a pair ... just one of them
Theres always one not two !

What is this strange mystery ?
Is there something weird afoot ?
Maybe i'll investigate ... so explanation i can put !

What reason to throw out one shoe ?
And keep the other one ?
But if they binned them as a pair
Then where's the other gone ?

Maybe there's a one legged man..
That doesn't need a pair
But instead of throwing out one shoe
He could keep it as a spare !

Or better still save money
He could stand outside a shop
Then steal a shoe from off the rack
And run away .... no.. hop !

So if you go out walking
And a single shoe you see
You may wonder ' where's the other one '!
Wonder just like me .

I know i've never met her
And strange i know it seems
I dont recall us meeting except for in our dreams
We walked and talked together.. in a strange and misty place
I feel as though i know her and i can't forget her face
Who is this strange enchantress ?
And where does she come from ?
I call her my dream lover ..for in the morning she is gone !

Johnny had a good job
He worked hard all his life
He forgot about his children
He forgot about his wife
He forgot about the time he spent out working everyday
poor johnny never saw the years.. he worked his life away
He didn't make the time for fun
Never saw his children grow
His wife packed up and left him
Why ?.. well johnny did not know
But johnny had a good job
He worked hard all his life
And johnny died a stranger
To his children and his wife !

I once knew a girl whose mouth was quite foul
She put on her make- up with a bricklayers trowel
She loved herself silly  , now god only knows
She would sit on the sofa .. picking her nose !

Her dresses were short and so were her skirts
Always chatting up men , one of life's biggest flirts !
But i heard she got married , had kids by the score
Now the girl she once was .. isn't there any more !

You are not my master
But you are my friend
And just because you love me
My time with you i'll spend
You can call me moggy
Or if you like just .. cat
And i will sit beside you
Or by the fire , on the mat
I can't promise not to make a mess
Or not to bother you
But mostly i just sleep allday
Thats what i like to do
And when it comes to evening time
Thats when i like to play
And when i'm feeling hungry
Meow' to you i'll say
No .. you are not my master
But you are my friend
And as long as you will love me
My time with you i'll spend.

Silence now ...
Once she was here
The sound of lovers laughing
No more the sound...

Her voice to me...
The sound of an Angel
Her touch to me...
Warm like the sun

Her gift to me... loneliness
... memories.

I sailed a midnight ocean
To lands both near and far
But could not find a single thing
As lovely as you are...

I found the sweetest red rose
And placed it by your side
But shadowed by your beauty
The rose just withered up and ...died

So i  travelled to the east
For riches golden ...and refined
But none of them could sway me
Or indeed could change my mind

further still... i travelled
And braved the fiercest storm..
The cold winds wrapped around me
Your vision kept me warm...

I sailed a midnight ocean
To beyond the furthest star...
But knew theres not a single thing
As lovely as you are .

Why do you roam through the forest alone ?
Seeking answers where none are found
Only dead leaves ... killed by the cold
No sunlight shines there..

I wait for you..
Here in the sunlight...be with me ?
Love me ... need me ....
Or am i too .. destined to walk through the forest alone ?
Seeking answers , where none are found...
Only dead leaves .. killed by the cold
No sunlight shines there ...

Love me ..need me ... save me .

I am the product of your nature
I am the reason for your sin
I am the wall with holes around you
I see out ... you dont see in

I am the blessing that may find you
You leave me empty ..fill me up
I am the hand that tightly holds you
I am no more the loving cup

I am the fall guy for your anger
I bare the scars from all your lies
I am the page no colour ..colour me
A rose that blossoms and then dies

I am all these things and nothing
Yet i still  ' love you' at my cost
And though this road with you leads nowhere
Without you i am lost.

In our mind a sea of trouble
Waves of grief will drag us down
As problems flow against us
In depression people drown

We must fight to reach the shallows
So that we may catch our breath
Before the tide carries us further
To our inevitable death

For the seabeds lined with bodies
Of those who came before
And took their lives because of problems
Depression carried them from shore

Sometimes theres no solution
No solid lifeline we can find
There are so many people drowning
A sea of trouble in their mind.

Winter now..... no more the sun
She is my tormentor !!
As i lay naked to her touch
She caresses ... burns...all that she has taken from me
And whispers of places ...that i do not wish to be

I am cold  and there is comfort
For i do not feel....pain
There is a freedom
In this... ice-so-lation

As time itself stops
Frozen.... the memories
That would be faded by the sun
And aged before their time

Mistress winter ..thou art mercifull .

As mist it crawled from dark abyss
To deliver forth a scarlet kiss
On nightmare blackened horse it rode
Brought decadence from dark abode

This charmer with the strangest smile
One night may visit for a while
To bring the darkest sleep of all
And into death you'll slowly fall

so close your windows , seal them tight
from all the children of the night !

Where were you ?..i waited
I waited for so long
I stood outside the cinema
But you did not come along

You could of least have told me
If you could'nt make our date
I stood there in the pouring rain
While you went out with your mate !

I know i should have listened
When my friends said you were cruel
I heard that you agreed to go
To make me look a fool !

I thought you really liked me
But i know now i was wrong
You seemed like such a nice girl
But you were stringing me along

Beauty's only skin deep
With you i know that's true
But i learnt a lesson from it
To keep away from girls like you !

My girlfriend she has many friends
Whilst i alone have none
I really do not miss them..
In fact i'm glad they're gone !
The reasons are quite justified
And as this poem ends
My message is quite simple
Beware of untrue friends !

Christmas is upon us !
Another year is gone
It seems like only yesterday
We celebrated the last one
Adverts on the t.v
Toys upon the shelves
Children are told stories
Of santa and his elves
Food is on the table
Theres turkey , christmas pud
Children on their best behaviour
Trying to be good
Carol singers outside , singing in the street
In woollen hats and scarves they dress
With wellies on their feet !
A snowman stands a guard outside
With a carrot for a nose
Presents under christmas trees
Tied with pretty bows
Jingle bells are ringing
As rudolf pulls the sleigh
The saviour lord jesus
Was born upon this day
Christmas is a time for peace
To last the whole year through
May santa bring his greatest gift
Of christmas joy to you !

No more to be ..
No more to tell..
Imprisoned in immortal hell
I.. the reaper with the scythe
A  final kiss , none survive
Glares on me a crimson light
I cast no shadow in the night
You are young whilst i am old
I steal your warmth..leave you cold
Fear me , i shall take your life
Unsheath the sword , wet  the scythe
My name is death , i walk this land
life's  journey ends at my command
Your soul is mine and free to sell
No more to be ..
No more to tell ..

I tried to save a soul today
Held out a loving hand
I almost saved a soul today
Within this evil land
But ignorance is powerfull
No choice to but let go
I watched it as it tumbled down
Into.. the fires below.

I heard the sound of raindrops
Watched them gather on the glass
For so many days and nights
I waited for the storm to pass

From the distance came the thunder
The sky exploded with the sound
The lightning played a deadly game
Striking random all around

Wind howled it's way through treetops
Pushing them aside ...
As creatures ran for cover
To find a place in which to hide

As i watched a small brown sparrow
Took  heedlessly to flight
As if to challenge mother nature
Caught in predicamented plight

But nature wins all battles
Like teardrops ..rain ran down the glass
For so many days and nights
I waited for the storm to pass.

In the light of the fire
We stood so silent there
We turned embraced each other
And our love we did declare

Her kiss so sweet i tasted
So sweet and so divine
Let loose the fires of passion
She would alone be mine

Time it did not matter
We were lost in love's embrace
As we lay under the heaven's
The moonlight glistened on her face

She looked just like a goddess
Her beauty captured in moon rays
Just a beautiful sweet memory
To last me all my days .

Frankenstein's monster lay upon the bench
Made up from dead bodies , he gave off quite a stench !!
When the lightening caught him , it gave him such a jolt !
It came right down the lightening rod
And struck him on his.....bolt !!

In view i swam an ocean ..
To spend my life upon the land
As i knelt under the heavens
And placed a kiss on god's right hand
I heard a voice that came from nowhere
From out the dark ..a light so true
We live our lives within a circle
As something old becomes anew
From our past , create a future
Be quick for future is our past
In our sorrow, time drags slowly
In our interest time moves fast
A voice once raised in anger
Became a whisper then a.. sigh
When we are sad , we long for happiness
In happiness ..we cry
We live in question for an answer
Of things we say and things we do
And from our sanity comes madness
In madness sanity shows through !

Two baby spiders , crawling on the wall
One said to the other " How fast can you crawl "?
' I've no idea ' said the other..' Do you want to see' ?
'I'll start off at the corner .. and you can count for me  !
" GO " the baby spider said, and sets off at a rate !
He's halfway to the other side ..the counting's up to eight
Just then disaster strikes him , as he trips over a bump !
His legs fly out from under him , he slides upon his **** !
" OUCH " the baby said , as he got up feeling sore
And decided not to carry on .. in case there were some more !!

Here comes Dracula flying through the night
Looking for a tasty neck on which to have a bite
He's out there in the darkness he wants a drink of blood
But if he flies in my room he'll lose his teeth for good
One bat to another i'll play baseball with his head
So don't bother me count Dracula
Same goes for all the living dead !!

Her love it knows no boundaries
I buy for her a cat
My darling keeps a basking shark
In her woolly hat

How many sticklebacks
Are beat up by the frogs ?
My dearest keeps her worn out stones
Underneath her logs

Her touch is like ...a million tons
of rubble from the moon
To charm a thousand dragonflies
Like buckshot as they swoon

I walked across the ocean
To breed her for a while
Out in the Antarctic
Zebra's  que-ing..for a mile !!

My darling sweetlips Octopus
Oh come and marry me ?
But dog said " I FORBID IT " !!
So i'll have to wait and see

Or shack up with a Tortoise
Whose name is Ethel bytheweight
I think i have... should go now
Cos ...she always makes me late !!

I set adrift my chocolate log
on seas of peas and cream
laughing as my head fell off
I dreamt...the strangest dream

If i don't see you .. i know i wont cry
The days may seem long .. but i know i'll get by
And if i don't kiss you.. a tear i won't shed
But i know i'll dream of it..as i lie in my bed

If i don't hold you .. i won't fall apart
I'll get back the pieces .. you stole from my heart

You told me you..loved me.. you just loved yourself
Was i just a book ..you put back on the shelf ?

love is a book..  written over again
And every new chapter can be .. pleasure or pain
A story that comes from .. a feeling inside
A journey thats travelled with a blindfolded guide

Now my story's over ..as another begins
Love is sometimes a game.. that the heart never wins
I loved you .. i lost you..you threw me away
Now i hope as i wait to find real love someday.

"I'm fed up of this"
The skeleton said
As he lay in his grave
"I'm bored being dead !"

"I think i'll get up and go for a run
I've been here for years !
And it just is'nt fun"
" I'll call on my girlfriend
And see if she's in...
"Being dead's helped her diet
She's got really thin !!

So he bent up his arms
And gave a big push
"Did you hear that"a voice said
From a nearby bush !

Two boys were out playing
When they heard the sound
" BOO " said the skeleton
As they slowly turned round
"AArgh " screamed the boys
And broke into a run
The skeleton laughed
He was just having fun!

They ran from the graveyard
And into the street
They were running so fast
That smoke came from their feet !

They did'nt stop running
Until they reached their front door
Then rushed to their mum
To explain what they saw
She said as she laughed
" It's not real what you've seen"
Someone's played a prank "
Well it was ...Halloween !

            Epilogue

What became of the skeleton
Running around ?
He got chased by some dogs
And never was found.

The king summoned the jester
Told him make me laugh again
The jester said i can't my lord
My heart is filled with pain

you see i love the princess
And though it should not be
For i am but a simple fool
She could not marry me

The king well he was furious
And called the royal guard
Take this ****** from my sight
And hang him in the yard

The princess wept a tear and said
Please father understand
Show my love some mercy
Instead ban him from this land

The jester stood there solemn
And gave a sad reply
If i have to live without you
It is better that i die

That night upon the gallows
A figure hung so still and cold
And the princess cried a thousand tears
For a love so true and bold.

There goes mary...
On her way down to the shop
She's off to buy some liquorice
And lots of fizzy pop...

Sweet tooth mary...
With her teeth as black as sin
She gave the children nightmares
When she smiled her mouldy grin

She chomped her way through toffee bars
And bags filled to the brim
With sugar cakes and frosted flakes
But mary's fate was grim

For mary learnt a lesson
A price for her sweet taste
She spent her cash on candy
And never bought toothpaste

That night as mary lay in bed
With sweet wrappers beneath
Toothfairies came with hobnailed boots
And kicked out all her teeth !

Jenny hopes for better things
Whilst hanging by a thread
She watches as the gentlemen
Fall in and out her bed

Her reputations tainted
Preceeds her all her life
She knows no man would want her
Or take her as his wife

For her life is a struggle
To pay the bills and pay the rent
On mind affecting substances
Her money is now spent

But jenny hopes for better things
Whilst hanging by a thread
So she dont have to watch the gentlemen
Fall in and out her bed !

I think i'm being followed
But as i turn around
The only thing that's followed me
Is my shadow on the ground

He's always there beside me
At the end of every day
But if i stand in darkness
My shadow goes away !

I've gone barmy !!
My mind's gone down the drain
I've gone barmy !!
I'm really quite insane
I've gone barmy !!
Bonkers, bloomin' jolly
I've gone barmy!!
It's true .. i'm off my trolley

You've gone barmy !!
That's what my shrink he said
I'm afraid that i must tell you
You've lost it in the head !!
So i thanked him with a raspberry
And then ran up the road
And shouted " i've gone barmy !"
Two bricks short of a load !

I've gone barmy !!
There are no if's or buts
I've gone barmy !!
Now i know i'm nuts
I've gone barmy !!
I'll tell you something pally
I've gone barmy !!
I'm bleedin' well doolalee !!

So if you think you're barmy !!
Sing this song with me
Shower with your clothes on
And barmy you will be !!
Dance around the living room
Hopping on one foot
Blowing lots of raspberries !!
If you want to be a nut !.

How can you say he loves you
It's just the drink thats all
I've often heard you sobbing
Seen you limping down the hall
Why does he have to hit you ?
And hurt you in this way
When you deserve much better
It can't go on this way
You know one day he'll **** you
Why not get out while you can ?
Stop dreaming that he'll change his ways
This drunken violent man
You should'nt have to worry
When he comes home late at night
You know it's not the first time
He's been looking for a fight
He says he does'nt mean it
But your children see your pain
As you try to hide the bruise's
And broken bones again
You know he's been unfaithful
And leaves you til he's had his fill
He calls you and you take him back
He knows you always will
He hits you and then buys you
A gift to calm the pain
And when you think he cares for you
The beating's start again
Love , honour and cherish
Once he took the marriage vow
A dream forgotten , in the past
Is'nt working now
It was'nt always like this
I know you know it's true
his love affair with alcohol
Means so much more than you.

              Conclusion

When alcohol gets a grip on you
It's hard to break the chain
Your life will start to crumble
Slowly slipping down the drain
You wake up with the craving
Your body gets the shakes
Can't think straight, you get irritable
Your sanity it takes
While you're propping up the bar each night
Fooling yourself you're  having fun
You think it's not a problem
Can't see the damage being done
So if you love your family
Take time to stop and think
Don't put them through the misery
Because you chose to drink .

There's gonna be a gunfight
Out there in the street
All the stores closed early
To see who would be beat

The gunfighters got ready
Neither would back down
Each one gave the other
24 hours to leave town

Bifocal bill was ready
He said " That drunkards gonna pay !"
Then stood there shouting " Draw ya punk "
Facing the wrong way !!

The Whisky Kid stepped into sight
And staggered about the place
He looked bill up and down a while
Then fell down on his face !!

The crowd stood waiting eagerly
And as they booed and hissed
Bill squeezed off the first shot
To no surprise .. he missed !

The whisky kid then stood up.. swore
Cursed .. some foul abuse
Then called to bill " i need a drink !
" howz about we call a truce ?

Bill fired his gun repeatedly
Bullets spun off left and right
The whisky kid fell on the ground
The crowd went silent at this sight

The whisky kid just lay there
With a bottle in his hand
Bill grinned and said " The kid is dead !
But he was just too drunk to stand

The sheriff  said " i guess that's that "
And as they turned to go
Bill's gun slipped from it's holster
And blew off his big toe !!.

When my body's time is over
And it's time that i must leave
Although i am not with you
Don't feel lonely..please don't grieve
For sadness is no friend of mine
Yet sorrow may be strong
My spirit will be with you
In your heart..where i belong
I know the world will turn about you
But my love shall never die
When my body is but ashes
My soul shall learn to fly
To be one with the universe
On land , in sea or air
In every ray of sunshine
you will feel me..i am there
And when the time has come my darling
For your soul to rise above
We will be together always
For all eternity....in love.