I am a martian
designed in red dust
fired in passion and lust
I feel.

Broken communication; I am
Confused, I don't understand
the language assumed by this land.
I reel.

Singular and isolate
I travel, I don't care where
Moving through this human fair
I deal.

And the snow fell in traces, revealing the wind hiding your cute cap as it pointed at me while your
eyes turned down.

"I have fallen in love with you."

I nod, knowing the thing to do. I raise your chin with a finger. Looking for connection your eyes
question as they search.

"I suppose it had to happen to one of us. I'm so sorry it was you."

You relax your face, turn your eyes. I take your hand and squeeze gently.

"I don't mean that I won't, or can't, I'm just not..."

I drop your hand and lift your chin with a finger once more. I want you to see my eyes telling you
what my lips are saying.

"Yet."  

I see question still in your eyes, but mostly there is a calm now and if you only knew what is
inside of me...

the storm, the guilt... I would glady have the pain surgically removed from it's home in your heart
and permanenty tattoo'd on my own if it were possible.

I would throw myself under a bus to save you from my guilt, your pain.  And some day, I hope and pray that I can...

and then...

I will lift your chin with a finger, kiss your lips softly, and tell you that from this moment to

the end of my life,

I love  you too.

You learned to play Chess
when I was eight.
I taught you the moves
and never again won.

You taught me so many things;
holding a gun with quiet aim,
pedaling with skinned knee,
to listen for Smoky baying at rabbits.

Your mind was your prize
along with your faith.
Both so strong, determined
I wondered how I could ever match up.

You showed me love
by sleeping while I flew.
Engine roaring, props churning
You showed me trust.

You never mentioned my fear
as we climbed towards the sun
and you cut the engines
turning plane into roller coaster.

Fearless, you drove, you flew
You believed, you focused.
No problem could stand
when your formidable mind took it.

You taught yourself
the language of machines,
writing logical instructions
creating structured beauty from radio signals.

Such a sharp mind
and a gentle soul.
I don't understand.
My sadness turns in my gut.

Your mind was your prize
second only to your faith.
Do the ruins of that once sharp steel
know what is gone, taken from you?

As you sit so quiet
on your narrow assigned bed
I feel a keen sadness,
pondering what you have lost.

I pray to the great
Power in the Universe
that is, was, and will always be
that I feel it more than you do.

I turn off the light,
pulling the darkness around me
safe and warm,
shrouding my loneliness and I.

Comforting, numbing, relaxing
allowing me sleep.

For I will wake rested
before Darkness is gone.

I will drive with the claws
of my Companion locked in
in their usual place;
scarred and bloodless wounds.

And I will rend and tear
at the darkness then.
Running through it;
a blade through black crepe,

until the I uncover the Sun and
perhaps its warmth and light
shall make my Companion's claws
let go for awhile as I bask

In the memories of those
who made the loneliness leave.

Hope is a Cypress
cracking tendrils
through solid rock.

Churning sustenance from
the barren land
holding tight to the cliff.

Growing, twisted in the wind;
thriving, thrusting branches
growing leaves of redemption.

Defiant and hard
courageous and beatiful
she conquers, she lives, she thrives.

I felt the earth careening
moving soft blue tides

I felt like I was dreaming
spitting out what hides

I couldn't tell meaning
the colors emphasized

scenarios redeeming
as I fantasized.

In earth blue tones
The miracle unfolds
To the end
from the beginning.

Wisps of white cold
set against azure sky

The secret so bold
look, and wonder why

So fresh, so crisp cold
to touch, oh to fly.

Sing to the Earth unfold
create with every cry.

Let us join hands
connected, let us smile.
To the end
From the beginning.

Low lights and varnished wood
places in memory, now long gone
Tables looking like they might be sticky
ashtrays emptied, stale tobacco air

Places of memory, folded and
put away in corners of my mind
bars by lakes, downtown smalltown
beers and jukes
shots and bar puddles
laughter and hair
bell bottomed floors.

Simple, to the point
play pool, talk about fishing
long gone days
leaving me wishing.

Take a breath of the morning.
Cinnamon and caffeine.
A new day fresh,
A chance at another way.

Crisp, clean, cold
the feelings, yesterday
so long ago,
compost for our new beginning.

Growing slowly stronger
baby roots take hold.
What is to be resides
in the twists of their turns.

Take a breath deep, and smile
eyes closed, arms wide.
Feel the Sun on your face
growing roots in our souls.

That single white light,
a freight train on your track.
Moving at full throttle
and I can't pull it back.


Trying to get so lost,
and leave all that I lack
I rush toward your arms
with chaos at my back.


At full speed, my chaos runs.
Your light can't save me,
before destruction comes.
Why can't you see?


Sweet thrill, darkened laugh.
You are in my way.
No way to pull over.
Night's here, no more day.


Spicy smoke, clinking glass
Chaos riding me hard.
You have to move, please move
or I'll make you scarred.


Burning light, seering dark,
Chaos slices through.
My rules dissolve in whisky,
so complete and nothing new.


Don't stand in my way
with your heart in your eye.
Don't cry if my train
won't stop 'til I die.


At full speed, my chaos runs.
Your light can't save me,
before destruction comes.
Why can't you see?


Could you be that strong?
Keep me from my pain?
Can your heart eyes really stop
My destructive speeding train?


I ran from the familiar,
you can't help me out.
Chaos is my only friend,
til my blood spills out.


Clinking glass, spicy smoke
I laugh in dizzy breaths
You are so much more
I am so much less.


Another sip or maybe a gulp,
water on my glass clings.
What does it matter?
I listen as the ice sings.

  
tearing me apart at the seams,
reduced to smoking foundation.
I revel in the darkness;
howl to the dark station.


At full speed, my chaos runs.
Your light can't save me,
before destruction comes.
Why can't you see?


Chaos has come...