everyone writes of "moving on" and "looking to the future"
as if things really do get better over night!
i'm still waiting for that, but my irritation has me second guessing nights such as those really exist

i'm making memories that i can't hold on to
drowning in a pool that's more shallow than you
and i realize i will be looking up at this white ceiling forever, holding back tears that aren't there

It's been 3 days since I last spoke to you
And according to past experiences, in 4 days I will start to miss you terribly
So, should I wait until then to write a sappy poem expressing my need to see you since it's been 2 whole weeks since I've touched your skin?

i watched the moon and played with the stars
midnight struck and you were still hanging by a thread in my mind

since i can't be found in your heart, i hope you find me in other little places
like in the folds of your bed after a long day of work
or
in a commercial advertising a movie i dragged you to see
or
in the bobby pins and hair ties i "casually" left on your bedside table
or
in the letter i gave you spilling my guts (in which i still stand by)
or
in the old text messages i have banned myself from looking at
since i can't be found in your heart, i hope you'll find me in distant places
like 2 months from now
or
6 years from tomorrow
just find me, please. **because i'm still waiting for you.

somehow with the small specks of dirt under my fingernails
and the skeleton in my closet to keep me company i still manage to cower
under heaps of blankets
and wait for you there

i want to treat your heart like a blackboard
and write my name in white chalk
across the middle in big letters
i tried so hard to keep you around
but the problem with chalk on a blackboard is that
it can be erased and replaced so easily