I built these walls to protect myself.
Encase myself in steel to keep intruders out.
I ripped my heart out, pickled it and put it on a shelf.
Zipped my mouth and lobotomized myself to exsponge doubt.

I encase my house in a steel cage, bottle up my sadness, fury, rage.
My room sealed shut, locked with a deadbolt.
Strapped into my bed just me and my colt.
45 that is hallucinating and yet peacefully bliss.
A knock on the door.... What the **** is this.

Who's is this knocking on my door. I sealed myself in this world, never see anyone, anymore.
I peek through the window, can't believe my eyes.
In the wall lies a huges gaping hole, dynamite explosion marks her introduction.
Chainsawed bars from where the sparks flew, instantly I knew it was her kiss that broke through.
Her hug was the key that opened the door to me.
Smiling at me is what set me free.

Hopeless I stare, whowhatwhenwhere?!
Feelings arise deep from in there.
She found the jar, brought it to me empty.
Smug devilish smile, for some reason began to tempt me.
I ask "What did you do with what defined me"
She replied "Inplace of mine is where it shall be".
And we traded, easily I see, I'm still pondering how in the hell she got the key.
Key to my heart what leads to me, who are you? How can this be.

She: I am your desire whoever you wish me to be.
Me: you are perfect as you are, as long as you stay with me. I have no mind to think with so nothing can ruin us.
And in an instant she pulled it from thin air, without a care.
She: use this to please and entertain me for you are great, a caged king to be. You have been hurt by others this I can see.
But I hold the key, I belong to you, and you belong to me.

And with that she set me free, the ******* that I have set to be. Something to encage and enslave me. To such a low point and hoplessness for which light you cannot see. I am now whole and happy as can be.

Walked out of the ghosts house rolling 10 deep on a mission to a house party across the strEet. 5 acquaintances walk out of the home some from way back. They approach the crew so imma stay in the cut and lay back. But she walks up to me to my surprise. Face to face staring deep in her eyes. "I missed you, where have you been?". I reply "Around, here and there, now and then". Then she kisses me so deep my heart gets warm. I can't believe it, feeling like the **** of a joke preparing for someone's scorn. I push away and all she does is give a devious smile and walk away. Worse thing I will be thinking about her for the next 3 days.
Suddenly waking up to a text from my woman. Telling me "Have a great day baby". Am I meant to be with her?, maybe. Too bad the dream woman and the reality are not the same. Is it my tv, subliminal thoughts or my environment to blame. **** shame.

I killed monday with tuesday. Hit it so hard it gave wednesday a concussion. Which apparently made thursday mad since I messed up his **** day. To get rid of our problems and let bygons be bygons we made a toast in the honor of friendship since it is thirsty thursday. Party was insane. I met this fine girl named Friday. We were both a lil wasted and did somethings grown folks can relate too. I met another girl saturday. Equally as fine as the day before, hungover she said she can take care of me and make me feel better with time. I believed her and let my walls down. I was stripped raw of my layers. Did the same thing I did to friday. What a trip, exctasy until I realized, I arrived and could have picked up some extra baggage in my journey to and fro. I kneeled down on sunday praying for forgiveness and to wake up from this confusing dream. My prayers were answered but with a price to pay. knock knock knock police broke down the door within a moments notice. I am encarcerated for ****** in the first degree of a Monday morning, **** of Friday night and drunken driving on thirsty thursday. I pleaded guilty of loving friday, wanting fun on thursday. Only saturday would speak to me for she loved me, while encarcerated she gave birth to twins, in memorium of my sins I named them monday and tuesday. Wednesday awoke from the coma and married the drunk thursday. Friday is still a carbon spitful copy of saturday. And my faith within sunday still lies within my soul. If I die tonight this will be my final memoir and my sons will become *******. Godwilling they will not be mirror images of Kane and Able. But one will most likely be hated. Sadly these are the days of our lives.

How do you feel now that your ballin?
Can you hear your fans screams, Cries, are they applauding?
Are you a drug dealer, boxer, or literally ballin?
Tryna be jordan holding on to spawlding?
You ever think of the hookers that got genitals in their view 24/7. Aren't they ballin too?
What about the mothers that are bawling cause they can't feed their children.
God save us all.

Kepp working, stay on my grind. God, school and moneys only on my mind. Lovely women happen to come by and that's fine. Touch my paper and I will decline.

Stress build, heavy weight on my mind. Trying to walk with god and take life one day at a time. People take what they want and ask for more. I don't hustle because I am poor (I'm not), its in my blood (a clot).

Had my hustle ever reached my core, it would attack me and stop my beat. Soul song silenced for eternity for desiring to achieve greatness. Such a paradoxacal oximoron drifts throughout my body keeping me alive unbeknownced to my concienceness.

My kryptonite is infact what makes me a super solider. For ever I will fight waging a mental spiritual war. I pull the trigger at whatever stands in my way and eliminate the prey for I am the predator. In future roles will switch and I will hear the heavenly bell ring, such a divine pitch.

So for no I fight and fight I will. Untill the kryptonite reached my heart and it attacks me. My internal double edge sword. Hustle.

If my brain had a mouth I could speak my mind. I could explain that instead of heartbreak it was all a game. We played a new version of 52 pick up. We used a sledghammer labeled "infidelity". Placed on A foundation which I though was stable "truth" turned out to be wet sand.
Drenched from my tears oceans wide and deep. Within the void that is my heart. She swung the haMmer with intent to destroy. "I love you" rang out with every thunderous crash. Murderous smile. Love blinded me, clouded my mind and shackled my body. If my brain had a mouth it would have told me to listen to its words, get new glasses, and walk away. Its sad that I played the game, that I am to blame, my brain is slain, heart the same, yet at the same time I think to myself. How different would this be if my brain had a mouth and I could actually speak my mind?

Pain redefined, hidden within the confines of my heart.
All in time it bleeds out, slowly the wound creeps open.
From which my heart speaks, blinds my mind... Its dark.
I am changing morphing into something inhuman, and dark.
Those who say love is blind should add that heartbreaking should be a crime.


How is it when I'm your suspicious, I'm a liar.
If I'm such a bad person why stay with me?
This torture is too much, my heart is crying, its eyes are on fire.
Seeing me squirm must be such a sight to see.
Kicking me while I'm down, spitting in my face.
Saying I love you baby after kisses, but your venom is all I taste.
In your design a monster is what I am depicted to be.
Such a bad name I am given, like the scarlet A.
Insane run around and sadistic mind games you play.
A picture fabricated of ******* lies that couldn't be, shouldn't be, can't be, and your the only person that can ******* see, that a monster is what I should be.
This is my clawing your name out of my brain.
Trying to become normal, begging to become sane.


I hate you for all your lies and decite and pain you've cause.
You vindictive *****, I'm breaking your laws.
No more will I cringe at the sight of your picture.
No more thinking of your memory on an hourly fixture.
Toast to you ******* the guys you claimed were "friends".
And congrats to you having had an affair behind my back, again.
Never again will I be broken and toyed with at yours or any ones whim.
Blood will rain down and reality will bend before I am manipulated again.
Thanks for teaching me the valuable lesson that humans are **** and everyone just pretends.
Now kindly I will tell you **** and have a nice day, words from your "friend".
Let me close my eyes and pretend that this crumpled up paper can be perfect again.

Slowly creeping, every in foreward make noise louder and more obvious. I reach the destination. Slowly open it up. I see what I want. Reach in slow, grip, and pull slowly not to damage or make too much noise. Push the buttons and unwind it to the top, rip it off and taste the delightful substance, coursing through my body, refreshing to the taste, exstacy. Some spills down me but I don't mind the smell and taste is amazing. "Delicious". I close the fridge, go back up stairs and go to bed. :-)

To paint a perfect picture, scribbling lines to make a beautiful enigma. Lies mark the walls heart, ****** scriptures. Life moves too fast not photogenic like its sister. Death stands still, a corroded fixture.

Idiotic ideas perplex people purposely. Seeing sound and hearing color, two signals to flee. Sometimes you need someone to stabilize you like a tree. Otherwise it is the blind leading the blind, blindly. Solid ground & stability is desired ideally. Because a hand signal is the same as a nod to me when my third eye is impaired figuratively.

If my thought is the bullet I shall pull it back and **** it slow. Stock, cocked and ready to go. Built up courage, I let my thoughts flow. Right from the chamber out the mouth of the barrel. Heading straight for you, now you feel what I'm saying, words deep run all the way through. Knowledge is scattered everywhere, did I just blow your mind?

twinkle twinkle little star, do you know how bright you are. Traveling the galaxy, text messages from a far. Your light intensity raises the bar. Wishing you were closer, hugs so sweet. Face so extravagent, kisses so deep. You say jump, with no thoughts i leap. Desire to land in your arms, i fall (for you) and noone helps me to my feet. I am scared and feel decite, like a fool to believe i was deserving but in reality i was submerged and beneath. rolling to my right with tears in my eyes i gaze apon the pearly whites of your teeth. You say "Took you long enough to fall in it with me, Sheesh" Twinkle twinkle little star oh how wonderful you truly are. From out of this universe, lighting up the sky. The only diamond in my eye. Twinkle Twinkle little star my love exceeds twice as far. :)

Hard to breathe.
Lead limbs.
Heart starts to seize.
Mind very blank and grim.
Emotions flooding back, begining to overwhelm.
Kinda feels like I'm falling up.
Just confused, thousands on my mental ship but noone at the helm.

The wave crashed and I am engulfed.
Swallowed whole, into the dark depth.
Sinking slowly releasing my last breathe.
Seeming to be my mental watery grave.
I am my imaginations slave.
Taught to stay in line and behave.

I guess this is life when conforming to the world.

You make me smile like the sun lights up the moon. It happenes everyday without the sun knowing it half the time and mostly never trying. Doesnt mean it is less meaningful and doesnt mean i dont appreciate it ad much. Living with out you is the end of the universe. And even though your the biggest and brightest star there ever was and that when another star blinks out of existance, i will still be there. Watching and basking in your beauty. The star that lights up the eternal darkness of my space, warm embrace, one of a kind smile. You even had me make that song your my sunshine your theme song. Best thing about you is, i dont even have to say you brighten up my day cause without you there would be no light. You brighten up my life. Warm embrace of you, My Sun.

Its odd how I have x's whom after they become y's.... Too much thinking. Gotta catch some z's. My deepest dreams reveal my darkest desires, ironically I'm shallow for wanting a lighter skin woman. Talk seems to be cheap, air costs nothing, actions are hard to come by like a million dollar bag and just as costly.

Rain rain go away, your the blame to my bad day. You and your cohort monday grimace at my dismay. Sicknening these emotional games you play. I will just whisper these sweet nothing in your ear like a lullaby. Sleep now precious day as I say goodbye. Kiss your foreheard and close your eyes because to all tomorrow is a surprise.