Where do I begin?
Being stuck in a place
Where unwelcomed thought consumed my skin
A place where the heaviness of my world
Never seemed to end
I was there
Fighting
Struggling with thoughts
Troubled thoughts
Aggressive thoughts
I was lost
With no help around

But now... I'm here
Living life with no fear

There you were holding my hand
Buying me flowers
Kissing my lips
Hugging me with gentle strength
Loving my awful being
There you were standing by me
Fighting for me
Moving mountains for me
Sweeping me off my feet
Loving my stubborn mind
There you were pulling me apart
Destroying who I am
Breaking my heart
Taking away my life
Loving every moment of it
There I was putting myself back together
Rebuilding what you tore down
Establishing hope
Reviving what died
Loving myself without you
There I was restored from your attack
Healed from all the pain
At peace with my thoughts and feelings
Completely happy with my life
Surrounded by love
There I was... standing

I've always loved you
From the moment I met you
I've loved you
The very moment where we exchanged hellos
From the moment we hugged goodbye
I've always loved you
You are amazing in ways I, myself, can't explain
You are wonderful
Your soul just full of wisdom
Your mind so full of positive thoughts
I've always loved you for that
You are not afraid to show your passions
Never the less your weakest points
I've loved you since then
But one thing for sure my darling
You will always have a special place in my heart
I've loved you then
I love you now
I'll love you always

I'm in love with the softness of my heart
The way he just thumps with peace
The way he speaks
The way he says "everything is Okay"

I'm in love with my heart
The way he motivates me to continue
The way he pushes me to better things
The way he supports my decisions

I'm in love with my gentle heart
The way he comforts me when I'm messed up
The way he's with me when I feel alone
The way he stays with me when everyone leaves
The way he's there for me

I'm in love with the softness
The gentleness
The peacefulness
Of my heart
Of my very own heart

So here's the thing
I like you
I really do
Want to know why?
Well than, brace yourself
You give me the butterflies
I feel them when you're not around
You make my heart pound
I hear it all the time
You make me so nervous
I feel it rise to my throat
See darling, you make me feel something amazing
You make me feel alive
Something I haven't felt in a while
You make me feel at peace
Something I would love to share with you
You make me feel awkward and normal at the same time
Something I've never felt before
But honestly, I love it
I'm in love with this feeling and I hope it never goes away
I'm in love with this wonderful vibe
I'm in love with everything you do and the way you speak
I'm in love with the person you are and the way you think
I think I'm in love with you
I know I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I love you

Never have I felt so empty
See writing is who I am
Not writing makes me incomplete
But now I'm back
Back to enjoying who I am
Discovering the meanings of my thoughts
Show everyone what makes me
Reconnecting with the love of my life
I've missed this
Just writing
Expressing my heart
Putting myself into words
I love this
I'm complete now
Cause I'm back
And I'm not going anywhere

But I want to thank you
Thank you for showing me the worst side of love
Thank you for making me feel pain and hurt
Thank you for leaving me alone
Thank you for opening my eyes
To help me see the real people that stand by me
Who are there for me
Who help me overcome the overwhelming feeling of wanting to die
Thank you for being a ****
Thank for leaving my side
Thank you for pushing me to do better
To stand back up on my feet and dust off the dirt
Thank you for cheating and lying
For teaching me how to trust my loved ones
See everyone saw right through you and I didnt listen
But now I see the truth so I thank you
Your colors mean nothing to me
So you are dismissed from my life

Why is it that these feelings always get in the way?
Why do they torture me with misleading thoughts?
Why does this happen?

See doll, the reason I dont speak to you is cause I have fallen
I have fallen deeply and completely in love with you
I know we promised not to do that but I couldn't stop myself

I tried getting over it but I'm so stuck on you
You're the negative to my positive and I like the feel of that
Talking to you make my days brighter and happier

I want to be in love with you but only if you are in love with me
But I know that it wont be that way
You love someone else and I cant do anything about it

I can be your friend but just know I love you more than life itself
I care for you and trust you more than anyone I know
But please break my heart slowly

So we meet once again
Years ago we didn't see eye to eye
But now, I want you to be mine
So I'll give you the chance
To take me out and make me feel good
But one thing
If I fall in love with you
Please, please
Keep my heart safe and sound

I was in love
In love with you darling
I melted like a popsicle on a hot summers day
But you left me
You left without me
You left me broken
You broke me
My heart is shattered
My soul died

I was in love with you
I fought for you
I stood up for you
But you left me
You left me on the cold floor
You hurt me
My spirit no longer lives
My mind is distroyed

I was in love with you
But you left me
Left me alone

I still fall in love with you sometimes
You give me butterflies sometimes
You know
You sometimes make me feel wanted
Sometimes you make me feel valueable
You sometimes do such things
But then again
I know
I know you dont mean those things
You dont mean the things you do
You dont mean the things you say
But the funny part is
I know
I know your joking
I know its not true love
I know its a play pretend
But yet I still fall for it
I still fall for your sweetness
I still fall for your teasing
I still fall for you

The leaves in the tree
They remind me
Remind me of a time
A time when I smiled
I smiled for something
Something beautiful

The leaves in the tree
Make me feel
Feel a tingle inside
A tingle inside of my soul
My soul that lives restlessly

The leaves in the tree
Take me back
Back to that place
That place where i go
Where i go to dream
Dream eternally

The leaves in the tree
They give me
Give me a feeling
A feeling of hope
Of hope for you
For you my love

How can i say?
You have become very valuable to my life
I mean I care for you and love you
But I am not in love with you
You see, the place you consume in my heart is a little more than that
I am not saying we are more than friends
But yes, your value to me is greater than that
See you are my Soulmate
How so?
We connect instantly
Your thoughts are my thoughts
What you feel, I feel
See we are closer on a complete level of difference
You completely complete me
Like if you were my other half
Not in the sense of a couple but a little more than that
You are my Soulmate
We stand together, even when we are apart
We finish each others life sentence
You and I are just a little more than life itself
You and I are a spontaneous love affair
We are an unbelievable relationship
We are what others want
We are *Soulmates

Somtimes I ponder on the thought of what could have been
On how different things would be
On how you out of all people, you have always placed a smile on my face
I ponder on what could have been
I ponder on the differences
I ponder on the future that could have been happening
I ponder on the now that would have changed our lives but the things I ponder on didnt happen
The differences are different
The future is already arranged for something else
The now is already happening
But the one thing that remains always is the smile that you placed on my face
My love
The thing that keeps me going sometimes are the silly things you would say
The funny things you would do
The changes you have made.
See you are unique
You are a one of a kind
Your mind is expanding in ways I would have never imagined
Your heart beats more peaceful and calmer than ever
You have changed in a way that makes me see you as a better and extraordinary person
See you have changed but also have changed my feelings for you
You have changed my way of thinking in a way
You have impacted my life to a level where
I feel like the sun itself hugs me
The moon says hello
The stars brighten up my night
The clouds give me that extra push
See you have done all of this by just placing that one smile on my face
So thank you for everything
Thank you.
A million times, thank you.
You truely are someone in which I wouldnt mind to ponder on.

Just look at me and tell me the truth
Tell me you love me
Tell me you want to be with me
Just tell me
But thats just the thoughts that go through my head
Those are my thoughts
Those are my words
But you… Yes you
Dont feel like that
You dont love
You dont want to be with me
You dont even look at me
But I guess thats for the best
Thats preparing me for something better than you
But I love you
Yes I… Love you
But thats a story for another day

I have missed your kisses
I missed the little moments we tend to have
I missed the feeling you would give me
I missed the butterflies you would cause
But that was things you would do make me feel
Feel like I actually mattered to you

But that was me being a fool
That was me seeing the old you
That was me having hope in something
Something that will never happen again
That was me loving you, once again
Again I had felt me loving someone

You are
a beautiful person
You are
an oustanding mind
You are
a free spirit

See you are
the one i want to lay with
You are
the one i want to love forever
You are
my center of attention

My heart beats
for who you are
My thought revolve around
who you are
My soul cries out because of
who you are


You are
a beautiful person
You are
an oustanding mind
You are
a free spirit

From the sea
So they  say
Shyness fades away

From the sea
Thats my name
Everything else not to blame

From the sea
Defines this girl
Only one to rome this world

With a name that makes no sense
But that is what makes my difference

Persona, and a mind of thoughts
Is the only thing that i brought

Define my lines
Give me a face
Love so sweet, so sweet like grace

I am unique in a way unexplained
Because i am me and that is just it

See me? See me wander? See me wander into my world?
No, dont see me. Dont see me wander. Dont see me wander into mt world
I dont want you there, or here, or anywhere near my world
You have brought nothing but unhappiness and gloomy skies
You have made my world your and destroyed it completely
But thats my fault. I let myself say "welcome"
I gave you the opportunity to enter my world. I said "yes"
I let my heart melt into your hands, I let my mind connect with yours
I let my body become one with you. I let my soul free
Now here i sit in a corner to wander off. Wandering off to nothing
Wandering off to the nothingness of who i am
The nothingness of who i was. Of who i am Of who i will become
All because you saw me wander. Wander off into my world
Into the mind of a wanderer

why is it that you make me think so much?
why do you make my emotions go wild?
why do you make me feel beautiful?
why?, why?, why?
what is it with your way of being?
what is it with your way of speaking?
why is it that you out of all people place a smile on my face?
why does it have to be you?
why can it be someone else?
why are you here?
why do you stand by me?
why?
why do you make me think so much?

Honestly i try
I try and try and try
But what am i?
A wall?
Another person in this world?
What do you think of me?
That im a child?
When i try to do something for myself
Its thrown in my face
Why is that?
Do i not matter?
Am i just like the others to you?
Yea... I think i am
Cause you surely dont care of what i feel
It doesnt matter to you if i cry
So my hate in my heart just grows
And you are the cause for that
So now you dont matter!
Now you are just another person!

You parents say that the world will always have something for you
Truth is you have to work for those somethings
Your family says they love you no matter what
Truth is you make one mistake and they haunt you with that for the rest of your life
Your friends say you look cute in that outfit and your hair looks great
Truth is your outfit look weird on you and your hair needs to be fixed
Your mind says you look fat and your the ugliest person ever
Truth is your not fat and your the most beautiful person on the face of the earth
Keep going strong my love
You are wonderful and if anyone was to see different then they have something against themselves
Keep your head up and keep looking forward
Life is how you think of yourself and how you make it
So think positive and make it worthwhile
Sincerely, truth

How can i say this?
I hate you
I hate the way you make me feel
I hate the feelings you give me
I hate the butterflies i get when your around
I hate the beating of my heart when you hold my hand
I hate how nervous i get when you kiss me
I hate that i love you
I hate that i hate that i love you
I don't know how to say this
You truly are the hate of my life

This comes from the depth of my heart
We promised we would always be together
So many memories made these years
And new ones keep coming
I love you
Yes i love you sweetie
You complete my world
You make my life
My heart beat sings your name
You are my perfect paradise

The darkness is over powering the light that is in the depth of my soul
I try pushing myself out but i can't seem to find my way through
I am stuck in this world that keeps my screams from being heard
I am lost in this place that is unknown
My mind wanders off to another place
As my body remains in this nothingness that runs through my brain
I am lost in this place i can't call home
In this room that only gets smaller everytme i take a breath
I am nothing in this world
But i am forever to live here until you save me from my own thoughts
Until you reach your hand out to me
Until i start to matter once again
I will forever be lost in the darkness that over powers the light that is in the depth of my soul