My lungs out of my body, like two dark ****** fish on the floor.
I know
an ugly picture.
but that’s the only way to describe how useless they are, meaningless,
empty, dry.
like fish out of the water,
while my lungs are on the floor,
I watch myself drown in this ocean of blood,
trying at least to take a breath or two,
but fish can’t live out of the water,
fish can’t breath while being on the floor
and im drowning even deeper,
now everything is red.

i miss you

As the half moon sinks into the mountain across my room,
and I think that the only place I’d rather be is in your arms, feeling the warmth of your heart touching my bare skin.
Wanting to sink into you just like the moon sank in those mountains, shined bright for a bit, and now although is hidden,
it is the most beautiful thing my eyes ever came across to.

i love how your voice hugs my heart
and surrounds it like home,
cause when i hear your voice it feels so warm,
almost like you give me hope.

hope for opening my eyes, hope for running even more miles
far away, just so i can see
all the smiles that i missed.

your voice reminds me of peace
as I hide in those notes
as you try to form your words
all i want to be is yours

When do we start living?
Because I know for sure that breathing all this air all this time can’t be the only thing that Imma be doing on this earth.
So when do we start living this life they gave us?start playing this game they put us in?
I am really starting to get bored.
I see that some people want to end this game, but little do they know, they haven’t even press the start button yet.

they locked me up in this body and i cant get over the fact that im going to have to stay in here forever. forever just seems a huge word, endless time.
i am only 17 years in this cage and i can barely breath every single day.
ready to drown in my own tears, i feel like my cage isnt strong enough to keep me warm anymore.
so im trying to do something, to do something to get out of here.
but the key is nowhere,
until i lose control,
once again,
the beast inside me called guilt eats me up.
and it never, never gets satisfied.
the scars on my knees and my awful  headaches are trying to find a reason to resist.
but once the beast came out, theres no going back.
everything i do is worthless. because im the one that locked myself in here. and i swallowed the key like i did with the pill of guilt right down my throat.

shes with me because she can control me so she thinks that she can control herself. i am nothing to her. just a tool to use so she can survive and then throw away cause its useless anymore. and i thought u were different. i thought u wanted to improve me as a person and help me become better . but no . u only wanted to benefit urself. to make yourself better through me.