I have a  garden
No one ever sees
From all others set apart
In it grows black flowers
The color of your treacherous heart

They have the smell of rotting ground
Outgrowing every flower around
Ugly to the eyes
Always need weeding
Much to my distaste
Always seeding

Black flowers for my love betrayed
Black flowers for words spoken
Black flowers for a love lost
Black flowers for a heart broken

Though I rip them out
By ones and twos
Leaving an empty space
In the morning
Much to my disbelief
Others have taken their place

Legends say black flowers
Should be given
To heart untrue
There is no one I know
Who deserves them more
So black flowers I give to you

This poem is copyrighted and stored in author base. All material subject to Copyright Infringement laws
Section 512(c)(3) of the U.S. Copyright
Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3), Tammy M. Darby

My eyes have been dry the past few days,
my mouth too.
I’ve been wearing my glasses more
and drinking too much water.
Is it possible to drink too much water?
Some say you can never drink too much.
I’m not sure.
All I know is that I can’t dilute
the concentration of you in my blood.
It’s become too thick.
I’ve been tripping over cracks and
folded carpet corners that don’t exist.
I’m not sure how I find my footing again
with the pounding in my head
and all the silence in my bones.
It’s the kind of silence I wish
I could share with you.
I’ve been tripping over myself,
like there’s knots holding me together.
And I’ve seen your fingers tie knots before,
how you delicately labor over each one.
How the perfect amount of string
is always left over for them.
I’ve seen you tie knots before,
because you’ve tied them with my heart,
and I don’t think they’ll ever come undone.
Oh, I don’t think they’ll ever come undone.

i didn’t deserve what you gave to me
maybe i did
you made me believe it
you told me so
you stole my innocence
cliche, i know
you took my time of childhood
  my youth
turned it into something to use and abuse
eight years later and i still can’t sleep right
terrified of the dark, scared to go out at night
i can’t be alone
i don’t even want to leave my own home
bruised flesh, ripping and tearing is something a twelve year old should never have known
three years later, how was i supposed to figure out something that i was never shown
i learned to use makeup before i hit puberty
to cover up the marks so my own parents couldn’t see
i never knew that it didn’t have to hurt
so what started out as a little quickly got worse
there was more after you
not one, but two
i finally lost my nerve to stand up and speak
after all the times you called me weak
i didn’t know what they wanted wasn’t me
just because i’m okay today doesn’t mean i’ll ever be free
what about the others? were there others? where are they today?
i’ll do anything just to know they’re okay
why was it me? by now i don’t even care
was it just because i was there?
where am i? i couldn’t remember over and over
for two years after i was hardly sober
i know i’m destroyed, damaged and lacking
one year more and i finally swore there would never be anymore attacking
when i get the feeling i’m inadequate
i still feel like i deserve to be hit
even now when the someone looks into my eyes
i move away and i try to hide
it wasn’t a learning experience
it didn’t teach me a lesson
these once bright eyes have lost all their brilliance
and this defective heart has started to deaden
by now i’ve come to realize there’s only today, there’s no going back
you’ve turned me into what i am, i won’t thank you for that
what you took from me i’ll never get back
you stole the only light this soul ever had