mariana

mariana Jan 2020

flowers flowers
the earth below me
the sky above me
the sea around me
may i drown in your beauty?
"there is not beauty left" she replied
what can i do about it?
"nothing child, leave me be"
but i don't want you to die
"i don't want you to die either, child"
should we leave each other be?
"yes, it's for the best"
okay. alright.

written on December 12, 2019 during my physics class // #22

mariana Oct 2019

what i want to say, but in my mother tongue

possiamo scappare insieme?
la tua mano nella mia, come un sogno
sì, potremmo avere i nostri argomenti
ma ciò non significa che non ti amo
ti amo così tanto mio tesoro
la mia vita senza di te è incolore
così quando sei venuto
sono stato completamente portato via
il mio cuore è tuo, amore mio
la mia felicità sei tu
l'** trovato in te
il mio amore la mia vita
grazie per essere entrato nella mia vita
non sai quanto sei importante per me

#21 // per l'amore della mia vita

mariana Oct 2019

so this is love

so this is love
this is the feeling
i've been longing for
for so long
fondness
tenderness
that intense feeling of deep affection
love is when he holds your hand
when he texts you "I'm at the cafeteria"
love is when you want to hold him in your arms
or when you’re wrapped up in his
that warm embrace
its the one you want to be in for days
love is also when you two argue
no relationship is perfect
but you two could be perfect for each other
flowers bloom every time he says he loves you
after a day you’ve spent mad at him
it’s beautiful
and that’s love

#20

mariana Oct 2019

Yet, I Have a New Love

new love
it came like a new year
a fresh new start
new resolutions
bucket lists of things to do
places to go
movies to watch
i have been so hurt
and so has he
yet
here we are
we both have a new love
and we are happy
happy like the birds who finally find something to eat in this godforsaken world
happy like the baby you make laugh on the escalator
i love this new love of mine
he's tall and handsome
with those beautiful eyes and voice that makes my heart melt
he makes my knees go weak every time i see him
and he's here
living in the now
with me
and me only
i know him and trust him completely
he has my heart and my soul
my love and attention
my concern and care
there's nothing i wouldn't do for my love
and
i don't plan on losing him anytime soon

for greg // #19

mariana Oct 2019

help

i tried to **** myself last night
i dont know what to feel
how to act
am i supposed to act natural
or pretend that im ok
only a few people know
do i tell any others
people who know me personally
such as relatives
because they dont know
are the supposed to know
do i keep it a secret forever
will telling them bring me closer with them
or make me the suicidal outsider, black sheep of the family
im scared

mariana Jun 2019

electrify my heart, pretty please?

i like you
i like you like i like the rain
i like you like i like music
can we dance together?
can you give my heart a little electricity?
bring me back to life please
longing
ive been longing for someone for so long
you dont know
but i can wait for you
just like i can wait for season 4 of rick and morty
just like i can wait for the water for my coffee to heat up
i can wait for you
i can wait for when you have time for love
ill be here for you
ill always be here for you
i like you

#18

mariana Apr 2019

goodbye

it feels very heavy
and depressing
i can't stop thinking about it
it's like a record player somehow got stuck in my head
and not its broken
replaying our song
over and over again
it's painful
knowing the weight
of my love for you
it's inevitable
having to carry it with me
along with the things you gave me
the letters
the clothes
the flowers
the love
it's
i don't know
we've made it so far
but i'll keep it in my heart and mind forever
every moment
every argument
every memory
i'll keep it
but will you?

#17