I really do feel torn in two,
my heart,
mind,
and emotions
all torn in two

I feel I have left things unfinished,
there are still things to be done
on that small island
yet...
here in my "home" things are just starting
if I leave now, now these things too will be unfinished.
what am I to do except follow the endless flow of time  and space?
even if at times I may not  simply "flow" but be dragged along its current.

365 days have passed since that day
the day I allowed my feelings to unwind in front of you
I really had no idea you felt the same,
as ridiculous as it may sound that day
meant life and death for me
you are and always will be the first,
I knew that even then, but I was not sure you did.
I was so scared at what your reaction might be
I stared at the ground feeling a relief like no other.
when I first looked up I saw what I least expected,
your face (what I could see from behind your hands),
redder than it had ever been; shocked, happy, and scared all at once.
from that day on I allowed myself to feel the static,
I allowed myself to see you differently,
I allowed my love for you grow, no words of gratitude will ever be able to say
how happy and thankful I am to you for setting me free from all that I was

*I     l o v e   y o u