You won't give me the time of day.
But I think of you all the time of day.
I want you.

Leave my heart
       In a broken bowl,
              Catch the blood that spills.
                                                         With everything
                                         That I have thought,
                        True love gives birth,
            
                     or kills.

Hope filled my chest
Like a giant helium balloon.
Floated me around
From day to day
With a pointless smile
On my innocent face.
Hope for what was,
And what was to come.
Hope for the darkness beyond,
Hope was what I relied on.
And then I stepped out
In the dark.
And the balloon popped.
Left me broken on the floor,
My voice turned small,
High pitched anxiety,
Forever more.
Two years. Two years.
When, my friend,
Will this end?

I tried to fool myself today but it didn't work.
I wanted to feel okay but I felt like dirt.
Even when I was having fun, I was still sad.
And thinking about that, it makes me mad.

Is true happiness so hard to gain?
Is there no relief to this pain?
It's been a long time since I smiled
for longer than just a little while.

I'm facing the same problems, I feel like a mess.
And I have an unhealthy way of relieving my stress.
So I'm stuck in a cycle I can't seem to break.
A bad habit has started and it feels great.
But it's bad for me and I want to stop.
Cause it hurts me and the people I love.
But when I do it, I know I am sad.
I can be angry and I can be mad.

I'm tired of pretending that I am happy.
I can fool others with a smile but I can fool me.