I think about it everyday
The day you left
But I won't let that get me down
Because I'm stronger than that
I'm stronger now
I don't do those things anymore
I'm clean almost 6 weeks
No thanks to you though
But I thank you
you helped me realize how harsh I can be
Im not that way anymore
I'm stronger now

the first cut is always the deepest*
So I've heard them say
I would have never thought that one day I'd end up here
I would have never thought of my self like this
Struggling not to take a razor to my skin
And tear it apart
Sitting there watching the pretty skin
Disappear into scars and a deathly red fluid
I know one day I will go too far
But I'm so far gone I won't care
The multiple laserations on my writs are painful
But not as painful as what you did to me
But with those few words to tore me down
And took me back to this place
This place I refere to as home
Because I was only gone for a short while
This thing they call addiction is powerful
So powerful I can't stop anymore
I'm sorry
But I'm gone now

Excuse me my love
but you're not my all anymore
I'm trying to get out of this place and you're trying to ruin everything
I tried so hard to not give up
but you my dear are not my all anymore

I get asked why I do the things I do
I do them so the only person that can hurt me is me
So I can control the pain
So no one else can hurt me
But people say I'm too young to be so sad
I'm this way for a reason
You brought me here
You took me to this place
I wouldn't be in this state of mind without you
So I'd like to thank you.
Thank you for being such a great person
For making me take a blade to my own skin
And wish I wasn't here anymore
I really admire you though
You're honesty
I never believed any of this
Until you told me
So it must be true.
So thank you

I dream about those kind of nights
Those nights where we just sit and talk for hours
When I can hear the happiness in your voice
When my mind just trails off
Because talking to you is magical
I can talk to you about anything
Anything at all
Because talking to you never gets old

I don't need you
no not anymore
your true colors are dark as coal
and you're colder than ever
the truth is, is I would have done anything for you
now I sympathize you, your style of life
it's clear you can't comprehend that you can't survive feeding off of someone's own self worth
you can't take that from someone just so you can feel once again

I sit here with a smile on my face
But no one knows that smiles fake
I try so hard to keep that smile on your face
I can't breathe where I'm at
I feel like I'm drowning
But I guess it's true what try say
You don't have to be in water
To feel like you're drowning

How can I sit here and feel bad for myself
The sadness in the air feels like its pouring on me
And I'm just stuck in the storm
This never ending storm will be the end of me
I can't cry because I've cried all my tears
I can't cut because there's no where left to cut
I try to stay clean for you
But you're the one making the storm
The storm that just rains on me
The storm that you just beg will go away
But it never does
There's a feeling in my lungs and it won't go away
A feeling like I can't breathe
Like the storm is drowning me
And you're holding my mouth open so it goes straight down
I can't breathe anymore
An I even still here
Or am I just gone
I can't tell anymore

Please,
Take a day
Walk a mile in my shoes
Tell me how it is
Do you feel the pain or is it only me
Do you feel my soul being ripped out and forced to fake it's still there
Because I do
I feel it every second of everyday
So don't judge me
You don't know how I feel
Or how I walk

Hello first love
I guess it's true what they say, I'll never forget you
You meant so much to me
I miss you a little more everyday
Today has been the worst day of my life
You said goodbye for the final time
I guess I brought it upon myself
I said go, I just didn't think you would listen
But that's okay.
Goodbye first love.
Ill never forget you

darling, does it frighten you to know that I'm ready to **** myself

I slit my wrist to ease the pain,
you look at me, and think I’m insane,
my eyes turn red, bleeding my tears,
and still you try to protect me from my worst fears.
Look at my scars then you will see,
why I can’t seem to go around and fake happy,
yet you tell me you love me, that you’ll forget,
for I’ll soon be gone, and I’ll be your greatest regret.
So let me die, broken and scarred,
I can’t deal with life, it’s getting far too hard,
everything’s gone wrong, it’s not worth trying,
so leave me alone because I feel like I’m dying,
I don’t want you to worry,
because my life is ending in a hurry,
I’ll be fine, and happy you see,
for death is what I wished for and soon it will be.

These words will be the death of me
The words you speak
You said you'd see me soon
But that was so long ago
Why do you do this to me
It's so loud inside my head with all the things you screamed at me
I can't get them out
You never really cared did you
Ask myself so many questions I know you can't hear me though
Not anymore
There's so much to tell you but I never got the chance
I can't be mad at myself for not saying that words I always wanted to

I tried so hard for so long to be perfect
But it finally hit me,
I'm not
And I never will be
So I guess I'll stop trying now
And just be me

I don't like memories
Because the tears come easy
And once again I break
My promise to myself for this day
It's a constant battle
A war between remembering
And forgetting.

it's always been you
your smile is incredible
the way you wrapped your arms around me was thrilling
and your breath on my neck as you whispered was intoxicating
it put me in a trance
and you broke my heart
over and over again
but it will always be you

They're coming back and I can't fight them, they're angrier this time
they're mad that I shoved them into a place for away when you came along
now you're gone and I'm broken
but of course you're still fine
while my demons are rising to the surface you're not doing a **** thing
I'm on my own this time
I feel them surrounding me
they whisper things I don't like to hear
but they're right, I am worthless
and I deserve everything they bring to me