You know those really really really long events you had to go to as a kid. Ridiculous stuff- like family reunions, or church meetings or just plain ol' being dragged along? Sometimes fun stuff- road trips (if you fancied them), Disneyland or whatever equivalent, or to family you actually liked.

Leaving at sunrise and returning as bats and owls start to yawn and pull up their sheets. That time of night.

After a long day of this and that and that and this. Well, I wish I could relive one of those drives back. Laying down in the back of the car if you had lots of space, wrestling with the seat-belt buckles on your back; or constantly trying to re-position your head against your window or that uncomfortable and non-ergonomic plastic-type frame next to the door lock and above the handle only to be bounced by the car and woken up.

Long after my brain would give up on trying to sleep in said conditions I'd get into a semi-psychedelic state. Watching the sea of red lights in front of me, ebbing and flowing little dots- each controlled by the movement of the others. To the left a torrential outpouring of bright yellow/white light (blue nowadays with those LED's or whatever). Not a single stop-light in sight.

I often would tilt my head slightly upward, my head against the window causing my vision to vibrate with the tiny, ubiquitous bumps in the road and look at those tall "7" shaped street lights. They'd come into existence as fast as they disappeared in a consistent and wonderful rhythm. Mesmerizing to say the least.

Occasionally the sound of the turn signal would outweigh the subtle 'whirrrrr' of the car and the sound of the road, only to silence after a soft sway in either direction. Slowing down, the beep-beep-beep of the "hey your door's open", and the slight cool breeze worked like a snap to a hypnotized me. Slowly peaking up to regain my bearings- only to continue forward once there was ample juice in the car or less juice in the folks driving.

But now tis' only I who drive. And I drive myself, by myself. Trying to recreate the same feeling while I drive wouldn't be quite smart... And so like those street lights those times have whizzed by without a sound. Only to be appreciated once it stops. They say time goes. No.
truly- time stays, we go.

The strongest word is the heaviest to lift
The most meaningful expression the one that gets the message through
And honesty… is the gravity.
It gives weight to words
And “I love you” is lighter than “I don’t love you anymore”
Because honesty alone hurts more people than any lie.

i.
maybe people really were made
first as one large whole,
then cracked into pieces
and scattered, so that
if we ever lose our sense of
purpose,
we could know that there is hope
in finding it in others.

ii.
maybe it is fate
that brought me to you,
something magnetic,
or just chance.
i don't care, all that matters
is that i have you--
sometimes i just wish i knew
who to thank.

iii.
it scares me how much i like
the feel of your hand gripping mine,
as though it was meant
to be there from the start
(when i'm with you, i always feel
that much more complete).

iv.
if you carry pieces of me
deep inside of you,
does that mean somewhere
i carry pieces of you too?

Sleep is my escape.
My sweet temporary,
lost in  the imaginary,
ignoring the contemporary,

escape.

A love that I hate.
Because of this disease,
the twisted reality tease,
lost in the seven seas,

help me I pray,
continuously.
never-ending.

This is what I see
shades of the sky
sweet vista I crave,
but it fades
as I wake
Reality infects imagination,
soon it dies.

This is no place for a dreamer.

Seek your allies.
Many fight your battle, my dear.
They are not all far away, they are near.
This is war.
Because you listened to the mirror.

*But how do I find them?

Laugh at me and I'll laugh with you
One day it will be just us two
You tell me tales and make me smile
I've fell so far in a short while
Your words so soft and pure like snow
I dread the moment that you go
Love me now with all your might
Wrap you arms around me tight
Kiss
            Me
                      *Goodnight