Physically,
She sits in front of you in math.
She's right in front of you,
In this tired town,
Wishing she wasn't.

Mentally,
She's dreaming.
Fantasying of the places she'd rather be.

dark hair dark eyes
pale skin, red lipstick
cast a spell upon me
slave to desire, victim of passion
i am yours to command
for at first glance you had my body
and at second you had my soul

one can't begin to imagine
the haunted feeling i had
when you said no, turned
walked away
never giving me a chance
giving us a chance
leaving the opportunity of a lifetime on the table

nothing beats the pain
that a missed opportunity leaves
because you will never know
if maybe, things would've been glorious
a perfect ending
to the perfect beginning
but one can never find out

I always like to think that having a boyfriend would make my life better. That all of a sudden, there would be someone to help me through the tough parts of my life...
But in reality, it'd be so much worse because I don't have time for myself, let alone someone else.

Please don’t be sad.
There’s an infinite number of better things to be.                                                              ­                                        
Don’t listen when they tell you,
Or you tell yourself,
Anything other than this:                                                            ­                                                                 ­                 

You are not a failure.
You are not a size
Or a number on a scale
Or a letter on a test.
You are nothing short of amazing.
You are your uncontrollable laugh, 
and your large, genuine smile.  
You are your lively eyes when you've been told good news.
You are the pile of books at your bedside, 
and your favorite stories inside them.
You are the words you write without thinking,  
and the tunes you hum absentmindedly.
You are the beauty you see in the world, 
and the beauty the world sees in you.
You are your mind, your endless ideas and thoughts at night.
You are your moments of pure happiness.
You are what you aspire to be.

You are unlike anyone who has ever existed.
You are not what has happened,
you are what’s yet to come.

So please don't be sad,                                                             ­                                                                 ­           There's an infinite number of better things to be. 
Be inspired, or adventurous, or happy, or observant, 
anything but sad.

Was it worth 2 minutes of lustless ignominy
A misogynist practising polygamy
Years were hacked
Walls that were built with purpose
Everything said was fallacious and deluding
Pure gratification
Eating to feel full and drinking to get drunk

Heaven forbid I say you're just like the rest. The rest are just like you.

If I died tomorrow,
I'd want my ashes to be spread around the world.
Even though I'm not there,
I could visit the places I wanted to go.

We don't look at each other anymore.
The hurting is its own kind of sad
that I've framed with the words you never told me.
And you'd think because I gave you
so much of my own self-requited happiness and help,
that because I did pull you up from the trash can facade
you threw yourself in
covering your skin in your own garbage and alcohol rain
that you'd see me.
You'd think because I loved you that things would be different.

No, I didn't ******* in the back bedroom
like that sophomore did the weekend before.
But I did clean up the beer you spilt that you couldn't afford
on the night you shouldn't have been drinking.
I did let you hold me when you looked around the crowded room
of people you didn't know
realizing you were alone.

No, I didn't laugh when you smashed your hand
through that window on a dare.
But I did wash the blood from your cuts with a gentle cloth
when you weren't looking so it wouldn't hurt.
I did call your brother to tell him you were alright
when you were supposed to be home an hour ago and he couldn't find you.
I took a lot of your pain away.
In different ways than the beer bottles in you back pockets
or the empty body you left lying on the bed.
I did talk you through a long night when you didn't know what to do-
I did that for you.
I did help you pack away the parts of you you didn't like-
I'll always do that for you.

And you'd think that'd make you look my way.
Because all the things I did do
should outweigh the things I didn't.
You'd think because I loved you that things would be different.

But you don't even look at me anymore,
it's like I'm some broken angel on your shoulder you can't see.
I just always thought I was more important
than the things I couldn't be.