What?
           It's okay.
Are you okay?
                        I'm okay.
Why didn't you say anything?
                                                     I just wanted it to be okay.
Is it?
       It is, now. I'm trying.
I'm sorry.
                 Me too. Can you hand me the paint can? We missed a spot.

Study the stage, young women
Because the day will come when you fall in love with a boy
                                                             ­  who's in love with you
                                                   but your friend loves him, too.
And let's face it. She deserves him.
So do it for her - channel Dorothy's excitement at the Land of Oz,
                             Hello Dolly's kindly matchmaking.
                             Be the Nurse to her Juliet; keep her secrets.
Only at night allow yourself to lose character.
You can then become Eponine in the rain,
                                       Christine in the depths of the opera house,
                                       Maria watching her world torn apart.
Avoid the boy's gaze if you can, ladies,
Because he knows you're no Dorothy,
                                              no Dolly,
                                              no Nurse.
He knows and you know, but you do it for her.

So let me ask you then
how many nights I have spent lying on my kitchen floor like this
praying to a piece of paper that I find a way to make this all come out right?
And while I'm lying there have you tasted
the emptiness that settles on my lips as I count the stars on my fingertips
begging a soul I don't recognize any more to come and carry me?
Have you ever tried to hold something that heavy?
You don't make it far before you're dragging your feet
around a promise nobody had to make, but was clear

It was clear that you loved me more than I
always knew you did.

So let me ask you then
how I spend the time I don't have on fixations like that
hallucinating that I see your feet by my door or your name on my telephone?
And while I'm smudging my eyes from the minute reminder
that I waited longer than me and the god that holds me now knew I should have
I turn to the clock that haunts me.
Have you ever tried to feel how long that is?
You don't realize it until you're twenty-five staring the same blue-eyed problem in the face,
that grew from the memory you have of him as a kid you tossed through,
and you're wondering how you managed to scrape through with the amount of dignity
you gaze at in the reflection of the mirror.

I know that you love me more than I
always knew you did.

So let me ask you then
how come we aren't better than this?
How come it's 12:28 in the morning and I'm waiting on a call I'm never going to get?
How come we bank through changes with a common hand in hand,
but we can't make it through to see the sunrise?
How come we aren't better than a vulnerable night, a couple drinks, a wish
between the sheets of a bed with no destination that somehow
we'd wind up back in the fragmented places we've been?

How come we always want more, but we can't have it now?

How come you won't have me now?

When I know that you love me more than I
always knew you did.

She was afraid
But aren't we all
Afraid that we'll drown
afraid that we'll fall

She was alone
Her, her, and her
In a room that was silent
Where nothing would stir

She was a fool
Dumb and naive
A silly little girl
With her heart on her sleeve

She was a dreamer
You're ****** if you're not
Hope keeps you fighting
...or that's what she thought

The walls had ears and the walls had tongues
The walls they hear and the walls they hum
Can you hear them call?
Can you hear them sing?
Can you feel the rains of the early spring?
'Cause the walls are thin
And the walls are weak
But the walls, they hear
And the walls, they speak.

And I pushed them all away,
So they wouldn't see my face,
While I cried.
Because words they had to say,
Have just gotten in the way,
So I'm 'fine.'

Sighs because everything is too quiet.
How I miss the feeling of feeling.