there’s a story
that comes down the line
from those that have forged
the road we’re traveling

we see that it is long
and watch how it winds
for miles and years in front of us

with each step
we conquer a twist
survive a turn

following the leaders
who’ve travelled before
leading our followers
who’ve not been this far

and though even we
are as unsure as they
you take my hand
and we run surely
through it all

stop along the way
to pick the flowers
that grow under our feet
to dance in the golden fields
and walk in the warm sunlight
we’ll skip in the rain
and play hop-scotch on stars.

on our road, rest isn’t needed
and our smiles fuel us
and our laughter leads us
and our tears give us courage

and in the end,
as the story goes,
there is no pain.

in the end,
as the story goes,
we’ll have nothing but smiles
and laughter will become music
and we’ll have every bit of courage
we could need

our story will be fed
to those that follow
just as we were fed
the story of those we followed

and everyone to follow after
will know it’s possible
and everyone to follow after
will know what it takes
and everyone to follow after
will find the courage
and everyone to follow after
we will see at the end

what is it that I’ve got to do?
tell me, love, and I will.

what is it that I've got to do?
to wake up underneath you tomorrow
and to see your smile before I go to sleep
and to close my eyes
to your voice.

I’ll walk a thousand miles,
I think you know.
I’ll swim a million oceans
if I can see you on the shore.

I’ll give it all up
if that’s what it takes
to feel my hand in yours.

greed isn’t my deadly sin,
neither lust -
but when it comes to you
I am the embodiment of many.

greed and lust and passionate fervor
and I think everyone notices.

I know they’re all tired
of me saying your name
but it’s the only one
that can slip comfortably between my lips
and sound the way it should

and it’s the only one that fills my heart
with what I want to feel every second.

it just so happens
that I lace you into
every song that I hear

I find your name
scrawled wonderfully
on the spine of every book.

it just so happens
the grooves in my records
all spell out your name

and it just so happens
that my fingerprints
can be found all over you

and that the smell
of your skin lingers
on mine for as long as I let it

but it just so happens
that I’d let it linger longer,
time, I find, makes it fade

and it just so happens
that the time has come
that it's gone from me
for now

and it just so happens
that for now I’m not sure
which way’s up and which is down

and your hand is missing from my life
and your words are spare

my time is long
and all I have to do
is wish you were here

and it just so happens
that tonight
I’ll fall asleep alone

I’ll invent your smell
and behind my closed eyes
I’ll watch you move
your perfect lips
to the words of my favorite song
and the words of yours

and it just so happens
that the tears will seep
from the corners of my eyes,
only to dampen
my flowered pillowcase

and it just so happens
that in the morning when I wake
I’ll still see you singing
I’ll hold on to the dream
for as long as I can.

I’ll remember the night you
told me
all the reasons
you knew you loved me.

back pushed against the door
in the dark, damp room.

I’ll remember the feeling
of knowing you are somewhere...
loving me

and I hope you know
wherever you may be
you should have that feeling
with you always.

and I hope you do always smile.
and I hope you do always laugh.
and I hope you do always love.
and I hope it’s always me.

but if it just so happens
that one day you wake and find
you can no longer say
your love is with me


I’ll set you free and watch you fly
and as you leave, I'm sure I'll cry -
but your wings spread in front of me
will be the happiest thing I’ll ever see
even while they’re flying
you away from me.

it used to be
that shampoo didn't seem to cost $50
and that deodorant wasn't so hard to come by

it used to be that I didn't wear shoes
but then it was because I didn't want to

it used to be that gas was expensive,
now it's unrealistic.

it used to be that food was delicious,
now anything is delicious.

it used to be that I had everything I needed -
it was all comfortable.

now, even though everything isn't the same
and it's all much harder, I find that
it's not so bad.

I find that I can,
within reason,
fend for myself.

And I am,
within reason,
capable.

And I don't,
within reason,
need you to ****.

And now,
within reason,
you're gone.

last one
lit and burnt
slowly
savory
and the whole time
I think about you

and the very first time
I admired you
from across the yard
while I hung upside down
and the smoke sauntered from your lips
as brilliant as
a ballerina perfectly executing
all of Swan Lake
in fifteen seconds

and so mine comes to an end
while the smoke dances clumsily from my lips
the geese waddle from land to pond
and I wonder what it is
that’s got you so entranced in me.

rain dripping through the slats above
landing, each time, somewhere new.
my feet were bare.

you always tell me I should wear shoes,
sometimes you offer me yours,
but I like the way
the mud feels between my toes -
by now I think you know.

thick smoke
lingering everywhere
broken by raindrops,
brought together by wind -
dancing away
to some far, distant land

we gaze through the squares
in front of our faces,
watch while cars speed by
in the unrelenting rain.

pizza?

pizza’s always good,
you know, when I was in Italy...

....the sentence trails off

you know.

and we step fearlessly
into the unrelenting rain
make our way inside
and like always you're sure
my feet are warm

your pizza is on the floor
and my laughter is coming
like the rain falling outside.
the look you give me
makes me laugh harder

until there are tears
running from the corner of my eyes
and my cheeks are warm and happy.

that’s when I know,
as I finally calm
and wipe the tears from my cheeks,
that there is no place
in the world
I would rather be than here -
giggling at pizza in the floor.

sitting across from you
your furrowed eyebrows
fierce words
shaking papers in front of my face

tears running faster from my eyes
and slower the words come
lost in a jumble of anger

and then it stops.

there across from you
I find that I know more than you
about the things you’ve seen

you’ve lived with your eyes closed
and I’ve learned to open mine

you’ve lived scared of all of it,
but I’ve figured it doesn’t all matter.

and now I know what it’s like
to not mind much
about the things you say

and now I know how it feels
to let the knives of your words
go only skin deep

and now I know how it feels
to mend my own bruise

and now I know how it feels
to catch my own tears

and now I know that you’ve taught me
much more than you meant to

lessons in love and life

money, too.

and now I know how it feels
to put it all behind me
and start out new

and now I know how it feels
to forget about the question
that sometimes haunts my mind

I know what it’s like to forget your cold heart.

and now I know how it feels

to just let go.