the higher we go
the world disappears
and i am alone
high above the clouds
were everything is perfect
there is no death
there is no war
this is my paradise
my quiet and peaceful
piece of the world
were i can forget
the tragedies i've seen
the higher we fly

The nightmares of lifeless eyes
Staring back at me
Now laying beneath the sand
The remains of dead comrades

They haunt my dreams
Only now do I realize
Were the story ends
In this sand

Distant and devoid of emotion
Is this what I’ve become?
A man who can’t cry anymore
When death surrounds me

Beneath the sand where dreams die
Are bombs meant to destroy more.
And yet we continue on through the danger
Without question into the night

If only for our friends
To our left and right
Do we brave the danger
That lies beneath the sand

Beneath the sand were dreams end
Have I buried my sorrow and friends.
And beneath this sand
Lays a little piece of me

Baptized in death incarnate, shown the worlds reality at a age of inspiration, with dreams dance upon the wings of butterflies in fields of daisy's, ******* the nectar of life, to sustain the biological imperative, that everything is connected beyond life and death.

Merge pen and ink, upon the fallen trees, show the world, the vulnerabilities of a soul lost in the shadows, were light fights the darkness to escape to another day, beyond the pages you write, beyond internal dialogue of devils and angels upon your shoulders.

Shower your soul, in the tears of angels, who have lost their wings and laid to rest upon the battleground, the lives of men, to stain sacred ground with life sustenance, every breath a battle you must tell now, so they are remembered in the pages of history

Purify this ground, with the ink within your veins, poet, rise from the ashes of reality, sprinkle the air with stardust, of fallen souls, in languid waves of desperation to live again, beyond the tragedy of death you've witnessed, here today. entitle, designate and cleanse this world a new, so every heart may know, deep within the recess of darkness within your eyes, incandescent flames burn the birth of a poet

The days are long and boring
with nothing to do
but fix broken aircraft
all day long while deployed

emotions run high
when a mission comes up
and adrenaline runs low
when its back to sitting down

there is a brotherhood
that is formed and bonded
like nothing else
and it tugs at me now

with the distance
between me and the wolfpack
that had been my home
that had been my family

while they dodge bullets
i dodge suicidal birds
the internet bridges the distance
but its not the same

as it is just being there
the jokes just aren't the same
and no one understands
the little things

that make us laugh
when someone
messes up a four-point seat belt
and we just laugh and stare
life just isn't the same

when the wolfpack is deployed
and I'm waiting to go

the rain falls gently into the summer night
embracing the gentle touch of cement
cascading gently upon the water
of what was left behind

the sounds that echo
within a broken heart
the trails and ttribulations
will only make you stonger

the wind caress the world
like a lover's open arms
protecting it from the
evil of this world

dreams lie shattered
across the world
like broken glass
left on the ground

let my voice be your disguise
that hides you away
to make it through
just one more day

Every question pontificated upon deaf ears, ear marked in outer space drifting aimlessly to distant stars, where shadows reign in open hearts that betray our silence in milliseconds

Basic recourse, every letter of every word inscribed in memories of dreams of some joey loves dawson fantasy. the unrequited notation that every syllable betrays my own self-confidence, my duality of existence to live but not to have lived

and so it goes that every question comes with hours upon days of internal self dialogue, over analysis of every gesture, every word, hidden meanings and double speak, that I have to find such betrayal in something as little as a Solemn smile, but the question remains what does it all mean?

Short of action, long of thought, mindless wandering of distant dreams, that one day I may find, Answers, to every question that such expanded diatribes may ease the pain, and mend the wounds, so that my own existentialist facade may crack and wither to dust in the sands of time, to once and for all I may just be another speck of sand wandering aimlessly between the stars, in a shadowless beauty that is my misery, so that every question comes to conclusion with easy, understandable answers

Cold dark eyes
as pure as the driven snow
swallowed in illusion

"Don't go" She screams
fighting against a world
she doesn't understand

On hands and knees
she gazes upon me
begging me to stay

Cold dark eyes
as pure as the driven snow
tied to this illusion she creates

an indifferent world
where sorrow and misery quantify
what love has betrayed in silence

tears she cries
small as raindrops, as deep as the ocean
but as empty as the void within her heart

Desperation in her eyes
to unravel the mystery, tangled in me
beneath the illusion, she cries, silently, all alone

this existence is worthless
the hollow shell of happiness
that i paint upon my face

a facade to the world
so they won't invade
and beat me down

with cheery words
and fake smiles
to numb my pain

I can look at an Afghani
and want to **** them
wish the most horrible death uopn them
and yet I can save their life

I can look at the blood, guts and even death
and never bat an eye
or even remember the injuries
until I have to load and unload them once again

I can cry tears of sorrow
and hide them upon my sleeves
so no one can see
what is exactly wrong

I can look down the sights of my carbine
with a round in the chamber
and mutter to myself
its only a job I have to do

Yet i can not express simple emotions
spoken, simple and direct
as if it would make a difference
of whether i am sane or not

I can understand a consequence
as it is the law of nature
every action has a reaction
that is equal and justifiable

I can write something meaningful
and never mean a **** word
if context and understanding
is never understood

I think i understand life
or atleast the simple meaning therein
any creature is meant to have
eat, drink, reproduce and sleep

I think I understand death
or the permenace thereof
when the look of dispair
is transfixed upon frozen eyes

Yet i can gaze upon the stars
in a distant foregin land
where death lurks in the shadows
and still feel so meaningless

Socialist agendas destroying pride
labeling me based upon appearance
a racist with a bald head
just another neo-****
just guilty of being white

political correctness negating free speech
when all i do is speak the truth
free of racist intent
yet i am just another redneck
just guilty of being white

white pride tattooed upon my chest
iron crosses upon my arms
but you look for a hidden meaning
when all it means it white pride
and respect for my German heritage

its funny, the double standard that exists
when minorities do the same
and its nothing more than pride
but i am guilty without reason
beyond a doubt in your mind

yet you call me a racist
what does that say about you?

There is Joy
There is Tragedy
There is Happiness
There is Sorrow

all these we have come to see
in times of darkness
for there was hope
at the end there was a light

shining brightly down upon you
illuminating you with strength and courage
few have ever seen
and fewer still possess

what is done
is now in the past
what is unknown
has hope for brighter days in the future

out of darkness comes light
and this you know firsthand
for you now carry the hope
of the next generation to come

There is Love
There Is Hate
from the heaven's above
nothing is too late

carry hope
and the light shall cast a path
illuminating serenity
and the hope of another day

in blood, sweat and tears
a legacy of failure has been sewn
upon this ground were legends born
and men have died.

its the long grey line
that connects past, present and future
that must endure this legacy
where we have to sing first

tradition steeped in battle among us
every year a new chapter written
to the victor goes the spoils
along the honor of singing second

on this ground here today
leaders born, forged and ready
for trials ahead beyond the gates
of this game of honor

whether black, grey and gold
or putrid blue and gold
60 minutes locked in battle
to forge a bond

unbroken by something deeper
something greater than one's self

I pose a question
does my life hold meaning?
it should be easy to ascertain
but too many questions remain
a quest for life unparalleled
yet death holds uncertainties
answers about life, and my meaning
its Schrödinger's cat for me
for i will never know till i look
temptation beyond words
like a slow undercurrent
milking its way along the ocean floor
always there and powerful, yet silent
until you find yourself within its control
twisting and twirling to escape
the cycle i find myself in
introspective yet distant from reality
yearning for the release
of despair from regret
while the question remains
does my life hold meaning

The words we once spoke and what they meant
though if only we knew what smiles betray
and what our hearts would reveal in time
when love was all that remained

heard in the silence of our eyes
when our gaze no longer lingered
but swept to the heavens above
for the angels to weep once again

today i awoke
knowing the danger
that awaited me
as the dust settles
the litters came
one at a time

weapon in hand
locked and loaded
pointed at a bus
the litter hits the ground
dazed and confused
tears in their eyes

i rush over to carry the wounded
underneath the rotorblades to safety
not knowing til its too late
they're already dead
the clock is clicking
upon highway one

weapon in hand
pulling sercuity
as the buses rush around us
today i woke up
knowing the danger
of going unarmed and unafraid

the lifeless eyes staring at me
as i lowered them to the floor
as the tears stained my cheeks
as the anger gathered inside me
angry my brothers just died
but i can't show any emotion

standing at attention
as the rotors turn
awaiting my brothers in arms
as the flag covered brothers
inch closer to me
my final salute rendered to their memories

Chamber a round
And head for the door
Gathered the gear
And left my fear

Today is just another day
The things I forgot to say
Last night
After the fight

I still can’t believe
I just couldn’t see
Before the explosion
As everything went dark

As the dust settles
And the area is cleared
The words come to me
That I didn’t say last night

I love you
I always will
Don’t forget me
Always and forever

Any of them I could say
Now I never get the chance
As the flag is lowered
Atop my bodybag

as we stand there

and remember his presence

that is no longer near

his smile fades gently

into a higher place

as your name is called

silent tears

of ours weaped

and you don't answer

the last roll call

as we remember

what we have lost

a friend

a brother in arms

in the wages of war

of this were certain

you'll be avenged

your voice in our heads

your last command

we'll drive us to the end

as we stand here

a final salute

a final goodbye

a final prayer

in the last roll call

i lay in bed
thinking of days long gone
where i played football
til the street lights came on
and the little fun it brought me

i lay in bed
thinking of days to come
what the futures holds
i still don't know
with what little fun it might bring

i lay in bed
thinking of what i am doing
where moral and social justice
differ from standing orders
and what little fun it doesn't have

i lay in bed
or at least i try too now
when the alarm clock rings
and a new day begins
here i am having no fun at all

This is me letting go
of the hatred held within
as the pen empties its ink
upon this solemn page
where my thoughts
are left to whither and die

this is just me letting go
of your existence
and stain upon my name
for my trials and tribulations
have thought me more
than you ever tried to do

so this is me letting go
of a father i never had
so this me letting the sand
slip between my fingers
letting you go into the wind
to be forgotten before the sun sets

I've lived my life in your shadow
for long enough to know
that by now i am and forever will be
a better man, and a better father
than you can and will ever be
so this is me letting go once and for all

to those that I've known
to those that I've never met
your always remembered
and never forgotten
one day when my bones turn to ash
and when my spirit has left this world
may we drink a pint and remember
all that we given to protect
may we toast to freedom
and the lives we saved
while the world remembers
that we made the sacrifice
we went like warriors til
the very ****** end
fighting til our strength
sapped from our bones
but our love for our country
endures beyond what we've left

Rick Madsen - 09/03/08
Brandon Silk - 06/21/10
Josh Powell - 09/21/10

May you fly on the wings of angels
and dine with the best of men
Always Remembered Never Forgotten

Moonlight chorus of broken dreams
sung upon distant foreign shores
echoing upon the horizon
before the ground gives way

First a spark
now an ember burning
bursting into flame
beneath our wanting desire, we'll explode
lighting the way for dreams to heal

Daylight verses of hope
dancing upon broken glass
lost in silent acquiescence
fading upon the wind stretch sands

second a current
now a charge burning brightly
illuminating light in darkness
giving our desire merit, we'll fight
for hope to be amplified
in the hearts of man, anew.

you never loved me, but the idea of me
i didn't leave without saying goodbye, i gave fair warning
so you wouldn't be scared or lonely
i've always been here,but you didn't need me

you still only love the idea of me

Peace is...
the long forgotten dream
the silent soliloquy
of the human condition
always out of reach
from humanities grasp
snickering behind bullets and bombs

Peace is...
the futile dream
of broken men
who've split blood
upon the land
fighting for nothing
and everything in between

Peace is...
a dream
a nightmare
a silent breathe
upon the wind
flickering in the light
hiding in the shadows

Peace Is...
A dying man's last wish

random thoughts
random actions
but nothing is random

the consequence of reality
is in the validity
of the string of events

that tie us together
that bind us forever
in heavens embrace

your actions
your choices
affect my life

i stand on the hanger floor
as the crowds tickles in
with somber eyes and
tear stained cheeks

i stand there
and watch these people weep
watching as my friends say goodbye
but i can't help it

as i feel nothing
as i laugh internally
knowing my time is next
and no one will cry for me

i start to move
and say to everyone
"I'll see you in week"
and ******* like regular

we crack jokes
about how the year will fly by
flying over afghanistan
and the stupid PT belts we have to wear

i look down at my watch
the seconds drag on
like we're trapped in a vortex
we just can't escape

a voice comes over the P.A system
"5 more mins and then we get the formation started"
as more tears stream down
the faces of family members

i make the rounds to say goodbye
it doesn't hit me
til i walk out the hanger door
i have a week, just seven days

til i am on the other side
watching it allover again
but it will be me
standing in formation

ready to leave

15 months of hell
i spent abroad
fighting terrorist
and flying generals

685 combat hours
and chronic fatigue
this is my past
tis my shadow

i can't escape
the dreams of black bags
the fallen soldiers
i couldn't protect

2 hours of sleep
waken by the dusk
the dawning of a new day
and there i stand

in my shadow
i can't escape
the pain of loss
that i felt last night

in the darkness
i'm trapped inside
bound and gagged
by fragile torture

tis my shadow
tis my life
bearing the scars
of a broken man

tis my shadow
i can't escape
nor ever forget
the tragedies or war

in my shadow
full of despair
silent strength
to repent my sins

he stands tall
he stands vigilant
on the front lines
so far from home

ready to jump on a grenade
ready to take a bullet
for his friends
for his family

you'll never see him cry
you'll never see the pain
that grips him in the thick of battle
the silence in the darkness

he carries on
with silent strength
the courage of a hero
he never knew he had

to stand in front of death
and never flinch
some call it stupid
some call it brave

he doesn't care
it is his duty
to protect what he loves
and if so give his life

a small white box
sits upon the desk
after all the mail
has been handed out.

he reaches over
and looks at the address
from someplace he doesn't know
"To Any soldier".

is all it says
upon the top
he takes a knife
and swiftly and gently.

cuts away the tape
opening it up
to his surprise
he finds cards inside.

some simple
drawn with a crayon
some extravagant
with decadent borders.

all with the same message
Thank You for what you do
for keeping us safe
for a man told never to cry.

the tears wail down his face
staining the ground
in tears instead of blood
to know people still care.

I stood there in darkness,
smoke rising from another lit cigarette
bellowing out from tarnished lungs
stain with tar, from this habit
but it could not lower my tension
as the moments descended down
til white lights enveloped me
in a deserted parking lot upon the waterfront
memories flooded back, only months ago
I thought were locked away within
scrambling thoughts and words to say
but all I can hear is my heart beating
within my chest, pounding upon the walls
to escape, to be free from another round of torment
but like ice cream in the sun, I melted
the moment those emerald eyes met mine
lost within them, the world disappeared
just me and her once again
"I am truly sorry" she says
like a ring side bell ringing a knockout
I felt my knees go weak, the ground beneath me quaked
off put and disoriented, reeling from a 1-2 blow to the head
as tears streamed down her face, craving canyons into my mona lisa
speechless she left me.

standing at the water's edge
as the tide rolls in
playing its little game
of give and take

watching the waves crash in
and errode the beach
like you did my heart
so long ago

here i stand, upon the spot
were you told me
you didn't love me
anymore, breaking
my heart in two

standing at the water's edge
watching the water recede
leaving the broken sand
exposed to the world
for all to see

the memories remain
here at the water's edge
a giant repository
for all my sorrow
you left me with

vacants eyes staring back at me
no spark of life, left to extinguish

standing here with me
with nothing left to distinguish
the existence of futile dreams
the saddness of silent screams

there was a time before
when i could have sworn
that love existed within
but life has died herein

with only vacant eyes
staring back at me
to a life that denies
hells only absentee

I have stood in a thousand formations
and beared witness to the greatest men
who've recieved the greatest honors

I have stood in few formations
where i have cried
tears for my fallen brothers

I have stood at attention
as the casket was loaded
and away they flew

I have flown the heroes
no longer here
and cried every minute

I have rendered a million salutes
but the ones i remember
are for the fallen

With flag draped casket
etched upon my memory
never to see another golden sunset

Lost but never forgotten
the heroes, my brothers, my comrades
for as i breathe you'll never be forgotten

Rest In Peace
Shadow Brethren
SSG Powell And Sgt Silk

May you sleep with angels
on the wings of doves
to the pearly gates at ST. Peters Steps

Upon the nightly news
the images of war
implant impressions
of an innocent generation
brought into this
by the tragedies of death

i raised my right hand
to defend this land.
from enemies,
both foreign and domestic
now i hold an M16
and breathe so shallow

this is what i choose
its taken me this far
rebuffing their transgressions
to protect the next generation
so they may find bliss
this is my final breath

i will take in the sand
from the horrors i've seen firsthand
by our enemies
both foreign and domestic
nothing i could've foreseen
and i feel so hallow

on the inside
but this is war
this is my job
i've chosen to do
to be the silent guardian
standing watch

when will Washington decide
this has gone to far
and we've been robbed
and peace is long-overdue
but we are the silent guardians
forever standing watch

we will fight the wars
and defend this nation
forever and always
but without war
were would be
the American soldier

I've almost forgotten
what it is to be alive
while the memories
of broken sleep linger
while nothing else remains

I wear the same boots
that walked in enemy terrority
no emotions remain
left to make me feel
what it means to be alive

The broken bodies of children
haunt my mind every now and then
when I think of my return
to a land that holds death
that holds the unknown

Even my finger upon the trigger
can't even stir a response
like the crackle of a radio
breaking the silence of night
screaming "MEDEVAC, MEDEVAC, MEDEVAC"

While I've listened to the lectures
even read the studies
but they can't see
the burning wreckage
the bloodstained floors

Some have said its survivor's guilt
some have even said its my hero complex
but where are the answers
for even the simpliest questions
Why? Why me?

Why must I be haunted
when will I be free
to escape the memories
stirred by the media
to grab ratings

Every death, another shot
another reminder for me
of the friends I've lost
of the missions I've pulled
as the golden hour slips away

but as I stand here
just a shell, vacant and empty
of who I used to be
while the memories linger
its those feelings that elude me

Call me every name in the book
murdered, baby killer, Satan
it matters not to me
for i will preserve your freedom
slap me, kick me, and spit upon my uniform
for i will stand here as you do so
silently, and as unmovable as the mountains
only when you are done with your abuse
shall i say
your welcome
for i will stand as the vanguard
watching the night as you sleep
so nothing will harm you or your family
i will give my life
without a second thought
so you may continue to belittle me
even after i am gone
resting upon fiddlers' green

Waiting for the night to come
for when you will be mine
i have succumbed
to the beauty hidden in your eyes
everything i see is perfect
how do you do it
giving me a piece of heaven
don't you know it
you're perfect in my eyes

so i'll wait for the night
when you come to realize
that tomorrow is unbearable
without you here
everything about you is elegant
how do you do it
giving me a taste of perfection
don't you know it
you are my everything

i have succumbed
to the beauty deep inside
on one else see's
hidden within your gaze
making me forget the days
how do you do it
make me feel so helpless
don't you know it
i'll wait til the end of the world

Waiting for the night to come
sinking beneath the weight
of the world upon my shoulders

waiting for the night to come
sinking beneath the pain
the world has suffered

sinking into the darkness
when night shall cover the world
and no one shall see me cry

waiting for night to come
so i won't succumb
to a broken-hearted world

i want to forgive
and i want to forget
the madness and suffering

the broken promises
and unrequited love
of distant memories

so i wait til the night
to bleed my emotions
forth upon a page

to be forgotten
by the sands of time
until nothing remains

except the dreams of nights
were tears stain the ground
and the world stood still

beneath the lucid moonlight
of a rose colored hue
that burns like fire

the bruises of yesterday
stain her face
like smeared make-up

broken lips and blackened eyes
she doesn't cry
she just wants to die

she sleeps under cover of darkness
he steals her soul
and her will to live

she becomes numb
to the pain within
the pain between her thighs

there is no life
behind those eyes
a hallow shell
broken and alone

she does not scream
she does not cry
she does not fight
she just wants to die

porcelain skin
stained with blood
lifeless and limp
beneath satin sheets

The water's calm
serene and beautiful
gently ebbing upon the shore
erroding it away
and giving in return

the clouds roll in
past the mountains
settling atop the water
giving the sunset
the beauty withheld

yesterdays and tomorrows
reflecting off the water
the memories of time
gently drifting off the tide
into the sands

the calm before the storm
the water doesn't budge
nor do i
when nothing remains
and everything stands still

The weight of the world
coming down upon your shoulders
you can feel your bones breaking
beneath its suffocation grip
searching for a release
gently pulling away
from the pain
with the ease of a noose

a somber symphony
plays while the angels
pull you away
from the weight of the world
that you carried bravely
upon your shoulders
so close your eyes
it won't take that long

ease yourself to sleep
and let the angels
carry the weight of the world
so you may find
peace at last
and rest your tired shoulders
beneath the grass

the experience of war
in a land so far
so far away
so far away from home

they ask,
but i don't answer.
the dreams i have,
i chose not to remember.

in darkness i sleep,
in darkness i weep.
my wounds, they
have not healed