This is me letting go
of the hatred held within
as the pen empties its ink
upon this solemn page
where my thoughts
are left to whither and die

this is just me letting go
of your existence
and stain upon my name
for my trials and tribulations
have thought me more
than you ever tried to do

so this is me letting go
of a father i never had
so this me letting the sand
slip between my fingers
letting you go into the wind
to be forgotten before the sun sets

I've lived my life in your shadow
for long enough to know
that by now i am and forever will be
a better man, and a better father
than you can and will ever be
so this is me letting go once and for all

vacants eyes staring back at me
no spark of life, left to extinguish

standing here with me
with nothing left to distinguish
the existence of futile dreams
the saddness of silent screams

there was a time before
when i could have sworn
that love existed within
but life has died herein

with only vacant eyes
staring back at me
to a life that denies
hells only absentee

I can look at an Afghani
and want to **** them
wish the most horrible death uopn them
and yet I can save their life

I can look at the blood, guts and even death
and never bat an eye
or even remember the injuries
until I have to load and unload them once again

I can cry tears of sorrow
and hide them upon my sleeves
so no one can see
what is exactly wrong

I can look down the sights of my carbine
with a round in the chamber
and mutter to myself
its only a job I have to do

Yet i can not express simple emotions
spoken, simple and direct
as if it would make a difference
of whether i am sane or not

I can understand a consequence
as it is the law of nature
every action has a reaction
that is equal and justifiable

I can write something meaningful
and never mean a **** word
if context and understanding
is never understood

I think i understand life
or atleast the simple meaning therein
any creature is meant to have
eat, drink, reproduce and sleep

I think I understand death
or the permenace thereof
when the look of dispair
is transfixed upon frozen eyes

Yet i can gaze upon the stars
in a distant foregin land
where death lurks in the shadows
and still feel so meaningless

i lay in bed
thinking of days long gone
where i played football
til the street lights came on
and the little fun it brought me

i lay in bed
thinking of days to come
what the futures holds
i still don't know
with what little fun it might bring

i lay in bed
thinking of what i am doing
where moral and social justice
differ from standing orders
and what little fun it doesn't have

i lay in bed
or at least i try too now
when the alarm clock rings
and a new day begins
here i am having no fun at all

I have stood in a thousand formations
and beared witness to the greatest men
who've recieved the greatest honors

I have stood in few formations
where i have cried
tears for my fallen brothers

I have stood at attention
as the casket was loaded
and away they flew

I have flown the heroes
no longer here
and cried every minute

I have rendered a million salutes
but the ones i remember
are for the fallen

With flag draped casket
etched upon my memory
never to see another golden sunset

Lost but never forgotten
the heroes, my brothers, my comrades
for as i breathe you'll never be forgotten

Rest In Peace
Shadow Brethren
SSG Powell And Sgt Silk

May you sleep with angels
on the wings of doves
to the pearly gates at ST. Peters Steps

random thoughts
random actions
but nothing is random

the consequence of reality
is in the validity
of the string of events

that tie us together
that bind us forever
in heavens embrace

your actions
your choices
affect my life

the higher we go
the world disappears
and i am alone
high above the clouds
were everything is perfect
there is no death
there is no war
this is my paradise
my quiet and peaceful
piece of the world
were i can forget
the tragedies i've seen
the higher we fly