It is the dullest thing in the world
to drink ***
with the hope that you won't have a hung over tomorrow
it is also too naive to believe
that two wings can take you away from you
the bar at the airport is busy
with every shot
I am forgetting your name
and your skin
your whisper
I am forgetting you
losing myself
in a ***
it is the dullest thing in the world
to *** away
your love
to run away from yourself
it is the sin.
I am going on a business trip
sounds like a nonsense
in reality,
I ruin the lives
giving money to people
borrowing from the others.
I cant even get on a plane...
forget me
abandon me
for
I failed the main deal
of my life
I failed LOVE

oh yes
there are worse things
than being alone
Bukowski

there are worse things
than being alone
there is a death, a sickness, poverty
sum altogether, add some salt
from my pursed lips
this is my life without you
there are worse things
hurricanes, tsunamis, tornadoes
and broken childhood
and I love you
and am happy
when you leave
I evacuate the town of my happiness
I break down my card or toy houses
my child inside of me cries
you break my happy childhood
you break me
oh yes there are worse things
the depths of insanity
the oceans of the desperation
insomnia
Time magazine always changes its cover
why would you leave me now
in this gray and gloomy world
one on one with grief
there are worse things
but this place without you is pretty
bad

I am leaving
means
I am staying
and I hate you
translates
into I adore you
I will be fine
Is
I am so shaky
I am done
equals
I would continue
I do not care
hides
I care so much!
A wry smile
masks tears
A new lover
doesn't worth s...t
a blocked number
is being unblocked daily
a blocked heart
is unblocked and is ready to love
again
I am leaving
means I am forgiving

The lavender fields of my love
They are so charming
yet so distant.
To go into the fields,
To get lost there... with you
To kiss you, to stroke you
Darling,
Two hearts
That are beating
So fast,
Dreams.
The lavender dreams
They are tender and soft.
To love you,
To meet the yellow sunrise with you.
say farewell to the sunsets,
not cling to the echoes,
celebrate the silence,
the lavender fields,
the purple obsession,
the violet dreams,
And love.

You are being very rude
You are casting stones at me
Have I deserved it?
I am not
What have I done?
Nothing and Everything
Shall I give you some coffee?
Some cigarettes?
When, warmed by shot of *****
you had yelled at this Romanian girl,
you did wrong to her.
I secured myself an empty bench
to see how you and she were arguing.
I was about to leave.
Then you spotted me and started beating me with your words,
Don't be such an aggressor,
you!
Do not be rude, crude.
Your presence here is a necessary evil,
your voice is a thunder.
Your fists are the heads of Gorgon.
You made our night miserable
You hasn't owned up. You said you were mean and the period.
I tried to be a devil's advocate for a moment
trying to understand you but I wasn't successful.
I came away from work feeling like my existence was a failure.
My expectations of the world
were pack of lies.
I wasn't even boiling mad,
I was frustrated,
You killed our night,
You destroyed our spirit,
You were pink of the imperfection,
you were a pig.
COWORKER

I do not recognize myself
I cannot even to be angry with you anymore
When I am mad at you my soul could fit in the tin
It is so tiny from the bad feelings.
You are a stunt man on a cliff of my desperation.
Tell me how to put through these feelings.
I remind myself a robot:
I get up, look in the mirror, do not recognize myself
drive myself in a car, go to work.
I consume my lunch, I talk to people, I make vows,
I do not believe myself.
It rains every day in my soul
The roads get slippery and dangerous,
My blood runs on the highway
Very fast
No speeding tickets for a driver
Who is the driver, anyways?
My heart is tired to suffer.
It works because it has taken this responsibility.
I drive somewhere with no destination point.
I look in the rear-view mirror,
I do not recognize myself.
I do not recognize myself.

She tells me crying into a handkerchief
Just one day without jealousy will be good
To not abuse
To set free
To not hold and let go easily .
I am tired to be an angry jealous girl.
I want to return myself back to myself.

Help me to survive and to forget
Anyone? Please?

All my savings I will give to the person
Or a divine creature
Who will set me free from the jealousy.
And I will give away all my secrets, additionally.
The secrets of the jealous person?
This is an interesting reading.
Permanently
Constantly jealous
Suspicious with abundance
Can you imagine that?
She asks me
Her handkerchief is wet.
You just need to wait
and start counting
Count to a hundred , go into the silence
And  find just one reason .
One that will help to forget
Suspicion that hinders love
Justification for all the sins of resentment
always looking for "evidence" hands.
And there will come times of change,
Please, do not look for clues about cheating
Look for evidence of love
And you will find
The evidence of love.