when I was five years old
my memories, how they are cold
winter trips to the park
lying in bed, scared of the dark

when I was ten years old
I needed someone I could hold
just a crush, no romance
because I was afraid to dance

when I was fifteen years old
I had watched my life unfold
like a wolf without a pack
or a turtle on its back

when I was twenty years old
my stories were left untold
hiding in my private hell
like a turtle in its shell

when I was twenty-five years old
my sight not pretty, to behold
I reached for my pocket knife
cut some change into my life

when I was thirty years old
I saw a fool without the gold
the mirror still my only friend
five years closer to the end

if I manage to survive
soon I will be thirty-five
lots of candles and a cheer
my whole life, defined by fear

do you agree with the terms and conditions?
my parents signed for me, and that was the end of it
if I did not choose to come into this world
tell me, what do I owe anyone?

I REJECT your claims, your logic is faulty
you have failed to convince me of the necessity
of anything, really
if this world is overpopulated
is the death of a child even a tragedy?

I HAVE TO? for my own good?
how the years have proved me right
fortunate that you can fall back on selective memory
if all your time is spent surviving
is life worth living?

flawed reasoning and tunnel vision
powerless against even a single independent mind
most unfortunate
that it's still stuck to a body

please, continue with your *******
you have failed to convince me of the necessity
of saving
the human race

artists I implore you; your finest work is needed
I CAN believe the news; another brain defeated
send me your brightest cloud; let me live amongst your stars
please be my soothing shroud; let me dance on top of cars
until this world is cured; from human stupidity
I'm smiling next to you; in silent lucidity

After thinking about it
I've decided that the right answer to every question is:
“I'll think about it.”

living beyond twenty-seven
this monkey not gone to heaven
the years decidedly unkind
doubting the beauty of my mind

I tried looking in the mirror
but the picture wasn't clearer
something was supposed to happen
just the sound of one hand clapping

did I not have a ton of dreams?
I remember still in my teens
all I wanted for my birthday
blank spaces to fill with wordplay

it seems all I do is compile
collaging words copying style
devoid of original thought
my younger self very distrought

I keep hiding in faceless rhyme
can't envision a bigger crime
a popstar with a silver spoon
voice forever on auto-tune

oh my darling to be

asphyxiated in your dreadlock
hammered by your toes, right on the head
but first
please grant this lonely *******
the kiss
of your inverted ******

slowly picking off all your petals
darling tell me
when will I finally be allowed
to drown
in your freckles

my dearest USELESS brain
could you for ONCE just NOT make sense?
tell that HOPELESS squeeze toy in my chest
that she did NOT leave me for him
she was ABDUCTED
and just has the WORST case of Stockholm syndrome

and suddenly, there you were
a flower in an industrial wasteland
sunlight blonde
pink leaves
the years have been so much better to you
than I ever was

my heart skipped a beat
like it tends to do when you invade my thoughts
so I punch myself
in the chest

if you would be so kind to stick to the schedule
and limit your appearances
to my dreams

“Clean up your mess before making another!”
-
“There are millions of dying children on this planet,
yet no one objected when you made me
instead of saving one of them.”
-
“Those children aren't MINE, are they?
I asked to clean up YOUR mess.”
-
“You are right, they aren't yours.
But at least one of them should have been.”

I roll up the sleeves of my sweater
every cut an open letter
dear mom and dad, you should be seeing
every fiber of my being
strangled
by the umbilical chord
pierced by Damocles's sword

my only dream, bottled up
and cast into the sea
all the sunlight gobbled up by the family tree

dear mom and dad, I cannot breathe
it's impossible to leave
your love
around my neck
buried
under my sleeve

have to pick up your kids from school
your car is dying for some fuel
you're not free for dinner later
running out of toilet paper

no by all means, don't slow things down
keep polishing your golden crown
you think I'm crazy, just a fool
keep ******* in your pool

I find some water and a tree
look at the sky and smile with glee
keep your gold I have my treasure
every minute is my pleasure

let children make their own mistakes
remove the leash before it breaks
salivate in face of danger
take some candy from a stranger

test result disgorged your future
all over my sense of humor
existence not a tasty treat
there will be bitter in your sweet

power in constructive thinking
I think I'll stick to my drinking
ingesting poison with a smile
a tribute to my lifeless child

good relationship
choking without suffocating

she was a former witness of jehovah
I ain't much on casanova
couldn't find my GPS
flew over her cuckoo's nest

her perspective compromised
my countermeasures plagiarized
maybe the moonlight sonata?
worldly persona non grata

emasculated superpowers
rain man never counted flowers
just kept running up that hill
terminating her goodwill

yes it was something that I said
another joke over her head
obstinacy will duplicate
a failure to communicate

so many times I tried to love her
the gibson to my danny glover
some animals just are more equal
pray to jehovah for a sequel

most misunderstood invention
lock your gaze on your reflection
in due time, I guarantee
your eyes a distant memory

graduated not with honor
simply cured from a disease
dedicated to my father
who I no longer try to please

orphan my adopted gender
drown in logic fallacies
if found don't return to sender
patriarchal allergies

always driving, not a trucker
but my garden's full of trees!
happy birthday *******
childhood hero rest in peace

I cannot hold out much longer
inner demons getting stronger
lump in throat a form of cancer
the question without an answer

your green mile the longest walk
left my heart enclosed in chalk
very fitting your profession
unremitting my obsession

FIVE STRAIGHT YEARS YOUR LIPS WERE HEARD
I DON'T DESERVE A SINGLE WORD?

how I wish this poem was fiction
filled with lies and contradiction
fabrication's so much faster
and I did learn from the master

you ripped out my spinal chord
legs divided by your sword
an inconvenience in your life
my back must have hurt your knife

doorbell
“mommy, it's a police”

your honor must grant objection
after a thorough inspection
lack of substance no connection
second yellow forced ejection

empty verse and pale complexion
run to your witness protection
there will be no resurrection
only natural selection

corpse unworthy of dissection
a failure for your collection
lack of meaning no direction
sever brain before infection

her face is like an open book
I'm a scoundrel and a crook
my tribute in the comment section
led to nothing but rejection
open chrome and instagoogle
flaming hair and freckled booble
get rekt 'til eye of the storm
not an exception but the norm
she'd be my wife I'd love her gently
sometimes you just take a selfie

A hug for the
soul
that's how she described it
warm
a feeling I'd never
known
until
she told me she loved me
even
more
than her morning coffee

YOUR test results came back so FOCUS
you EXCEEDED the prognosis
here's my OFFICIAL diagnosis
CHAMPION's blood runs through YOUR veins
this means EVERYTHING will change
so SMASH the walls and BREAK the chains
jump EVERY fence and GRAB the reins
UNLEASH yourself onto this planet
my GOD you just BURST with TALENT
give EVERYTHING and take your GLORY
YOU are the HERO of this story
your NAME will be long REMEMBERED
the one who NEVER surrendered
who left their foes DEVASTATED
and records OBLITERATED

tiny bubbles
surfing
water

bless me father
I have
sinned

cherry trinkets
burning
fire

take me higher
dancing
wind

this officer requires assistance
could you explain to me the difference
between the dealings of a business
and deadly battle for existence

rich eat the poor without resistance
a moral consciousness no hindrance
there's only room if you're the biggest
sounds like survival of the fittest

a pleasantly enough appearance
the lawyers running interference
got to admire their persistence
they have the limbs to go the distance

can't go crying to mommy dearest
she traded in her sweet for sweetest
now has soda with every breakfast
schedule adapted to her dentist

how can we fight this evil menace
when those who tried have been embarrassed
it's hard to **** what has been cherished
both parties guilty in this marriage

chief executives in attendance
we declarate our independence
I have acquired taste for vengeance
the target bearing my resemblance

the picture painfully apparent
oh yes it will be most unpleasant
overindulge antidepressants
solving the problem of my presence

you stimulate my hippopotamus
touch more chakras than an octopus
reduced to a headless chicken
not bad for a helpless kitten

you complicate my zebra belly
I asked for pasta, got spaghetti
lost in your bloom of jellyfish
sting me as often as you wish

dearest friend, you're off the payroll
you will get strangled by our halo
we have no gold to end the rainbow
sorry for rocking your cradle

the mountaintop holds a volcano
the wind of change a wild tornado
we have no light to end the tunnel
sorry for bursting your bubble

now wake up and tell your neighbor
you can stop waiting for a savior
we have no prize to end the labor
sorry for cutting your paper

how can I help you understand
it's what the bag represents
this day devoid of any meaning
am I not allowed
to feel something
anything
at all

how can I make you understand
it doesn't matter live or die
joy can be found in simple things
am I not allowed
to pleasure
myself
at all

how I wish you could understand
a person without a future
has no use for more restrictions
am I not allowed
the freedom
to decide
at all

how you will never understand
this world we both inhabit
you have answers to my questions
am I not allowed
to disagree
not true
at all

because you are so very special
I will soon end this poem
and thereby grant you the gift
of time

her gorgeous name sparked my attention
my dreams explored the fourth dimension
her beauty beyond comprehension
my longing in need of detention

her terms leave my soul perforated
my deep attraction vindicated
her notions highly decorated
my overture premeditated

her eyes transmit an invitation
my ticket one way to her station
her fleeting lips betray flirtation
my lust degraded to frustration

her feelings never conjugated
my perfect picture desecrated
her phone now ringing unabated
my love for her incinerated

causing only death and destruction
he truly needs no introduction
I've been followed all my life
by a shadow with a knife

friends, family or a lover
makes no difference to my brother
when I think I might be free
he goes on a killing spree

I turned to God in my despair
put all my last hope in a prayer
o Lord, help me understand
I'll obey every command

your brother is misunderstood
there's more than rage under the hood
siblings never go away
but is his pain here to stay?

I turned around with open eyes
saw this young man about my size
I shared the sad look on his face
and met him in a warm embrace

now we're walking side by side
he's my strength and I'm his guide
should you bring shame to your mother
I'll introduce you to my brother

child in pain
presents, bought in vain
cancer wins
again

no
it's not my alarm
cause I'm the black sheep
of this farm

no
won't open my eyes
just some construction
no surprise

no
not sick just lazy
yes father knows best
not crazy

no
it doesn't make sense
but I'm just a child
no defence

no
don't have time to think
they do it for me
see a shrink

no
there are no answers
just an increased risk
of cancer

no
can't go back to sleep
my chest is hurting
so I weep

no
I don't understand
there's blood everywhere
in my hand

no
this won't change a thing
life's not a girlfriend
just a fling

serenading the dawn like a disney princess
I despise your denial of the invisible cage
biding my time til your song turns metal
passion on the brink of murderous rage

a slippery canvas betrays your pleasure
your darkest desires finally laid bare
my right hand a thick fiber enclosing your neck
the other triumphant in the war with your hair

stabbing til you bathe in colorless blood
I whisper affections straight to your ear
an endeavor empowering only myself
your screams make them impossible to hear