i can’t sleep tonight,
your blue eyes are clouding my mind  
the way your body felt against mine
and the softness of your hands  .

every song’s about you,
at least to the ever-lusting mind
you made me want to believe again
when i thought i never could .

you kissed me so softly,
like i consumed all of your mind
as if you had forever to spend
i hope you let me love you .

these songs must be about you,
they’re resonating in my mind
coinciding with this smile
at the thought of you with time .

i wish that i could show you,
tonight you are all that’s on my mind
i think that you could save me
and i hope you can be mine.

i’ve denied it for as long as i can
the day of green and gold when we met our demise
almost 5 months to the day
it’s irony at it’s finest, for i found anything but luck
i’ve refused it for as long as i can stand
there are some things i have no choice but to admit
the truth is unaffected by trivial time
much might not make sense, it is true
but this means not that the curious is unreal
almost 5 months to the day
i can count on one hand the tears i have shed
yet still tonight i let slip one more
though rarely i feel despondent
that too can sometimes slip
generally i have learned to feel like your presence,
well, like it brought my life hope
i know now the immensity i am capable of feeling
and will further refuse to settle
i have tried to replace your fleeting spot in my life
but have soon learned that this cannot be
yet i cannot help but hope, maybe, one day
one day i can find someone who can make me feel as you once did .
for i am ever searching .

i wonder what you would say, if you knew
how often you still cross my mind
how often i still write about you
it never seemed to phase you, that you were my muse .
you’re still so beautiful to me,
though no longer mine,
you are still my own, personal disaster .
i wish you nothing but happiness,
and i hope one day i shall find my own without you .
and here, i will say it, just one time,
i will finally admit what i refused to ever speak,
i loved you,
and you will take with you a piece of my heart.
willingly so, you changed my life.
thank you for the proof,
that someone like you exists,
and could ever find interest
in someone, not like me,
but in me.
for 3 months i felt more beautiful than ever in my life combined.
thank you.

i look back on those times
the times that made my eyes brim up with tears
of sadness, of happiness
of passion only written of in tragedies and myths
and i thank the world
for choosing me to share such beauty with
most are not so lucky
this i am sure of
how often am i spoken to of a life unfulfilled
boring to say the least
my life’s been called “dramatic”
more times than i’d care to count
but i will look upon this and smile
for i could never say i haven’t lived
loved, and been loved in return
experienced impossible beauty
i have been my own tragedy
i have been my own myth
my life has no need for embellishment
what would Shakespeare say?
i am my own bard, i’m afraid
i write my own story, my own future
not even an apocalypse can hold me back now
from a life fully lived
stop living for your future,
for your future is now
every second fleeting further .

riding public transport
the little things you don’t realize matter so greatly
until you stop, until they’re lost
throw the breaks on
all inspiration, consider it dead and gone
this could never die
this lives inside me
you can take so much away
you can destroy a human soul
or the natural will to live
but you can never destroy the words of my creation
that forever flow through me
you cannot destroy the memories of my happiness
and of love
they mean everything
everything
finds yours before it’s too late-
before you’re dead and gone .

Happiness, it's a strange concept
A transparent dream at its best
Changed, since the day we met
And I have never felt so blessed.

Misled choices, I've had to cope
Until your light came shining bright
Blazing, like a beacon of hope
And I have never felt so right.

Clear, yes my breathing feels so free
This warmth was surely worth the wait
Complete, I am when you're with me
And I have never seen such fate.

No more pain, and no more strife
The moment you came into my life.

Lost in the dark
Searching for anything at all
Grasping at any ray of light
You can't find your way
Led astray by broken promises
Your love will be your downfall
Join them, join them
In darkness.
Why lead your life this way
When you could feel like they do?
Nobody is whole.
We are all shells
Of the people we want to be
We know not of happiness
We are the generation of lost souls.
Unmet expectations
and
Broken hearts
Are what define us.

i’m falling ever further, ever deeper
into the pit you’ve dug out for me
this is my abode, i welcome you
serenaded by the entrance sounds
can you hear them howling your name?
eyes ever watching, can you feel their gaze?
one once asked
“have you ever been alone in a crowded room?”
i feel crowded even when alone
especially in this godforsaken hole
i can’t remove the stains you ask of me
what is it you want from me, anyways?
perfection, perfection, perfection
i will never be enough for you
i will burn these bridges down
that led me straight to you
i will watch you burn
there is no end.