Your voice is like silk; the way the words fall from your lips make me desperate for you to breathe my name in the same sentence as ''you're mine.'' I only belong to you. You exist in every part of me; you are in my head, my heart, my veins. You are the missing parts of my soul. I crave you and your lips and your spine and your arms and your hands and your entire being. You move me more than any mountain, any ocean, any star-filled sky ever could. Waking up wrapped in your arms is the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are slowly healing my scars, love. The way you looked at me before pressing your lips to my forehead captivated me and took my breath away. No one has ever looked at me that way before; as if I were some beautiful wonder that made your heart beat faster. I love you for looking at me like that. I know there have been others but they'll never love you like I do. You are an ocean and I am drowning in you. I have to stop myself from screaming metaphors at you and settle for a simple 'I love you' instead. Those three words will never cover what I feel for you.

do you see me?
when you close your eyes
in the night
do you see me?
do you wish
you could feel me
wrapped around your body
my arms so tight
gently tracing the curve of your spine
with such small fingers
of which yours interwine?
do you need me
at 2am
when you can't sleep
for all the demons you keep
are locked inside your head
and sometimes you wish you were dead?
do you need me
to save your life
by giving you mine?
i'd like to do that for you
because you saved me, too;
from the shattering screams of my mind
that tore apart my insides.
i see you everywhere,
wish i could feel your bones against mine
and i think i saw stars in your ocean eyes
when you looked at me that night.
i was so broken
but i think you hold me together
and when you wrap those arms around me;
if feels like i'm being held by 1000 angels
when in reality
i am being held by just one.

I fell infinitely in love with your voice after a cup of coffee and two menthol cigarettes and I love the way you smell like marijuana and whiskey and you. You look like the best beginnings and I wish I saw you in the stars I watch every night. The stars are tired of me wishing on them, wishing for you. I like the way you look in the morning and the way your eyes are like the clouds when you look at me. You are a supernova. You are like the welcoming warmth of my house in Winter. I'd build castles for you with my bare hands. I want to wake up and just watch you watching me. I want to wrap myself around you and kiss your neck and feel your pulse and write thank you letters to your parents for creating you. I want to whisper your name in the same sentence as ''you're mine''. I want you to agree. I want you to tell me that you're only mine, that you're always mine. I see you as a puzzle just waiting for my clumsy hands to put you together. I think about you every second. For once, it doesn't hurt to love someone this way. For once, I love someone that doesn't hate me for it. I've seen some beautiful things but none of them compare to the way you fall asleep next to me. You're the first person to look at me like I'm some kind of significant human being and I love you endlessly for that. I love you for saving me when everyone else thought I was beyond saving. I'd rather be sat in the passenger seat of your ****** old car with you than be anywhere else in the world. I'd go to the end of the earth with you. You make me feel alive. You make me want to be alive simply so I can hold the perfect image of you in my head. It hurts knowing you can't  see how wonderful you are. I want to make you feel alive. I want to be alive with you.

I've been trying to articulate how to tell you how I feel about you in a way that is both unique and makes sense. It seems I get lost in the words as soon as I open my mouth and I close it before uttering 'I love you'. When I look at you it makes my eyes damp and my mouth dry and my heart burn with the fire of one thousand magnificent suns. I become obsessed with the curve of your spine and the way you smile and I silently beg you to stay a while. Every time I look in to your eyes I feel like I'm drowning in the most beautiful way possible. I feel hopeless without you, as if I'm a broken mess once again the second you're gone. You make me whole. It's as if I'm under some kind of spell, in love with your eyes, your skin, your smell. I'm in love with the way you draw circles on my ribs with your fingertips as if you could somehow reach my heart that way. I'm in love with the way you are more interested in opening my heart than anything else. You are like the trees in that you keep me breathing even when I don't want to. I love the way you look on a sunday morning, with your sleep filled eyes and messy hair. It seems that even after all of this, I still don't know how to tell you 'I love you' in a way that is meant just for you. I'm so terrified of rejection. I'm so terrified that you won't love me the way I love you. I know I'm not simple or easy to unravel but I promise I'd love you more than anyone else ever could. I'd love you irrevocably. I'd love you more than anyone smart would choose to love someone. I think I already do. I guess I can't figure out a way to tell you how I feel in a way that makes sense. I guess I'll just have to say 'I love you' and hope it's enough. I love you.

It's funny how people come and go, how things come and go. We used to sit at the lake and smoke and talk about music and films and we'd laugh and dance and swim. We'd eat cheap food and drink cheap beer and we'd hug and we all loved each other. But things change. People leave. And I can't stop it from happening. I still sit at the lake and smoke and talk about music and films and laugh and dance and swim but you're not here anymore. You aren't the people I loved because we don't all love each other any longer. I still have a place for you inside my heart but you have grown to love man-made, chemical substances that spell out death in the form of powders and pills. It hurts my chest to know that your eyes can no longer embrace the natural beauty of the earth, and you somehow need to drown your vision in poisons. It hurts me to know that the simple act of love and laughter isn't enough for you anymore. I can no longer sit here and watch my best friends **** themselves slowly. I know it was fun at first but it kills me to know that you need these things to be happy. I am not writing this because I hate you, nor am I writing this because I judge you. I am writing this because I love you and I hope by some miracle you see the way your actions have affected me and the others that have to walk away from you. I hope you see the way your actions are affecting yourselves. A few months ago you were the best friends I'd ever had but you have made your choice. I will always love you and care about you but I can not bear to watch you do this to yourselves. I will always be here for you to crawl back to.

You wanted me to meet you in the ocean but I forgot how to swim and I'm too busy drowning in you. You make me better but I still see everything as tragedy. I still don't think I'm ready to be human with you but I want to try anyway, which is saying a lot considering I don't know how to do anything besides write poetry about you. You tell me I'm special but I think you'll grow to hate that about me. I'll probably always feel safer laying in the grass than in your arms but I want to show you I can do this, I can want you as much as I need you and I need you more than coffee at 6am or cigarettes in the dark and I need you more than I need peace or identity. I always have the desire to ask you to run away with me because I don't want to find myself with anyone but you. Let me find ways to open my heart without scaring you, let me find out how to love you in ways that don't make sense. You make me feel like I'm dreaming and I'd rather not wake up without you. I like us more than I like the silence or distance or longing. I yearn to make sense to you, to be the answer to everything you've ever wondered about. I want to be so much more to you but I can't find the words to tell you. I'm drinking about you again, trying to figure out why you're such a big part of me. I love you and none of this makes sense to me but I don't care. Nothing needs to make sense as long as I have you.

Everything that happens now is falling rain. You're wringing my eyes out as if they were the clouds and I'm not crying for the same reasons any more. I begin to wonder whether you like to be held when you're sad or whether I'm just an ocean keeping you afloat. I'd like to be that but it seems I keep drowning myself in you and I can't see the shore any more. I'm not sure I want to. Don't expect me to be the sun forever. There are times when I am cold and hard to deal with. I woke up this morning and I thought you were there but I think my eyes are tricking me. For example, I see too many colours when I look at you and my vision becomes blurred and all I can hear, smell, taste, touch is you. Everyone wonders why I look at you the way I do but I see more beauty in you than I do in the forest. I sometimes wonder if the stars get sick of me looking up at them and thinking of you. I think I fell in love with the way your arms wrapped around me that morning, or maybe I fell in love with the way you look when you smoke and how jealous I was of the fact that the smoke could occupy your chest so easily whilst I didn't know how to. I don't want to be where you're not. I don't want to be anywhere if I'm not beside your skin. I feel like a ghost until I am with you. You bring me to life as soon as we lock eyes and I'm asking you not to ****** me.