three quarters down a bottle of wine
and i'm drunk again,
i mean i can barely see but
you're still everywhere;
you're always everywhere.
i always try to leave but you're so
******* addictive.
you're like ecstasy, baby
i'm so ******* high on you
so euphoric until
you leave again
but were you ever here in the first place?
i haven't seen you any place
besides my dreams,
year long dreams, it seems;
fabricated by my longing
for your rough touch,
the idea of you
inside me
in more ways than one.
come inside, love,
curl up inside me
let me drown you with longing,
hold you down with my heavy heart;
come inside, love.
stay.

I've been drinking about you
since the last time you kissed me,
because if I don't drink about you
all I can do is think about you.
All I can do is kid myself
that the wine tastes
better than your lips;
at least the hangover hurts less
than loving you does.
But I'm kidding myself
when I start to think
one more drink
might make me forget;
because try as I might
I can't forget you.
Try as I might,
I could never forget you.

It's funny;
how the fires of desire can
make you do terrible things,
how one sweet kiss can cause
a war inside someone.
I never meant for this to happen
but you let it happen.
I'm not one for trust
but I chose to let you in;
I should have known you'd
drop my heart with your indecisive hands.
I know it wasn't right
to love someone who belonged
to somebody else,
but in the heat of the moment
I lost my mind.
In the heat of my love,
I lost myself.
How could I possibly
think about her
when I had your tongue in my mouth?
How could I possibly
think about her
when you are all I think about?
I know I played a part
in breaking her heart
but you broke mine all on your own.
I keep hearing 'sorry' roll off
your sweet tongue,
keep hearing broken apologies in
your voice;
I just need you to know
your pretty words do not
stitch me back up.
And darling, I wish I could forgive you.
I wish 'sorry' could fix my heart
as easily as it fixed hers.
But 'sorry' falls on deaf ears
when you've heard it all before.
And I've heard it all before.

Why did you have to become a ghost to me? I've never held on to something as tightly as you, literally held you so as to keep your bones from falling apart beneath me, held on to your skin as a way to stop you from leaving. I thought I had my hands somewhere deep inside your soul but then I learnt you didn't have one anybody could touch. I should have listened, but I saw lights inside you so bright they could blind me and I couldn't look away. And so I was blind to the reality, to your selfish needs, your selfish touch, your selfish love. And now here I am; they say you see a light at the end of the tunnel, but either I'm still blind or there is just endless darkness down here. I didn't know that if you lost yourself inside someone you'd lose yourself completely, that you'd never find your way back to yourself. This is what love has done: I was so completely in love with you, so completely intoxicated by your existence, that I forgot how to love myself. And now I can't remember.

I think the most beautiful thing on this earth is falling asleep with the person you love. I mean, the world is ugly. But falling asleep with someone? It's like all the **** in the world and in your life slowly falls away, and you're just one person, one beating heart, one set of lungs performing the most innocent act of sleep. That's ******* beautiful. It's strange, but whenever I sleep next to the person I love, I don't dream. And I think that has something to do with him being all of my dreams in the flesh. I fall asleep next to my dream and that's enough for me. I don't need anything else than to fall asleep with him and to wake up next to him. And waking up with him? That's a completely different kind of beautiful. He's all sleepy eyes and messy hair and morning breath and sweat, but he's the most beautiful ******* thing I could possibly wake up to. The way we look at each other in the morning; it's like we're seeing each other for the first time all over again. I fall in love with him all over again every time I look at him. It's scary. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode when we're laying together watching a movie, because simply laying in his arms and being with him overwhelms me to the point where I could cry and scream my love for him. And my favourite part is when we fall asleep; because I'm so scared of missing a single moment with him, but so excited to wake up to him again.

He is teardrops that fall from my face, salty in my mouth, delicate in my hands. He is all the shadows the sun brings with it. He is all the stars you can't see, millions of light years away from me, dead stardust. And here I am, dead stardust, too. So if we're just weightless dust from the same endless space then why did we lose so much connection? Why am I still endlessly floating away from you when all I want to do is become a piece of you. How is it that we are just millions of atoms crashed together and yet you can't join our atoms up, as if there's no such thing as chemistry between us. There's no science between us at all.

You are loved. You are loved because I see you as the sun, the moon, the solar system, the entire ******* universe when all you really are is just WEIGHTLESS DUST. Tell me, universe of my life, do you understand how intense this kind of love is? You have the power of a thousand black holes, pulling everything in to you. I am just the weightless dust you spit out.

It's midnight and I find myself accidentally thinking about you... a little too much. My hair is in knots and my body is sweating in this heat. It's funny, I can compare this feeling to the way I feel about you tonight. I keep thinking about the way your words somehow represent your cool hands on my burning body, how the way you construct sentences has me too weak to stand. I feel you leaving marks deep under my skin, itches I can not scratch. Somehow, the heat outside feels like you are breathing on my neck and I momentarily feel your hands caressing my face. And then I open my eyes but there you are still, in my head, inside me, clawing through me, finding my heart and trying to find a way inside. Put your hands on me, sew together words that make me feel as though I've been blind my whole life and I have only just seen the light for the first time. Tell me we can exist infinitely together and that not everything has to fall apart. Tell me we can just be here. I just want to be here. With you.