sadness became more like a drug to her
her mind becoming
more and more clouded
with the darkness in her head
and her eyes
looking more lonesome
and desperate
every single day

she would hear the voices
and they told her to do it
they told her to stay this way
they told her she had a choice
eternal sadness
or eternal sleep

she liked the look of the pills
pink and blue and brown
and she liked sleeping a lot
and she found the little pieces of metal
so pretty
and shiny
and bright
            everything she wanted to be
but she didn't understand
what the voices had meant
for she was
far
too
tired
and she couldn't handle being so sad
and so she chose sleep

i hope she loves you more than her thoughts could ever build the words.
i want her to hold your hand and laugh when you say the dumbest jokes.
whisper seductive things to make you stay.
i hope you stay.
happy? of course!
i hope she makes your grin stretch so far
you need a gps to find your way back to sanity.
i hope she leaves “i love you” spelled out in magnets on the fridge.
you deserve it! yes, yes, you do.
when you’re on the verge of tears
i hope she’s close enough to catch them just before they hit the floor.
i hope her kiss leaves you drunk and parched.
i hope you yearn, lust, fall so hard
that nor cement, concrete, or bricks could bring you to a halt.
let her be the best thing that’s ever stepped into your life.
memorize every inch from the strands of her hair to the space between her toes.
i hope her taste stains your tongue.
her touch leaves prints on everything.
i hope she tells her friends about you and lets her parents know you’re the one.
if you both happen to run into me
i’ll smile and chat about my day
ignoring that what she is to you
you used to be to me.
(but most of all i hope she breaks your heart.)