hesitant steps
nervous smiles
cold, shaking hands
warm, warm eyes

loud taunts
deafening cheers

slowly...
    oh
        so
            s l o w l y

soft cheek
and even softer lips

There are few things I've realized after we talked.

First.
You're intelligent, and most people don't see that.
They can't understand that there's more to your pretty face.
Your well-thought words utter what actions can't.
You always tell me that I'm the poet between the two of us
But you,
You draw bright cities and beautiful night skies
With hushed voices, and quiet whispers.

Second.
You're sensitive, and you take every harsh word to heart.
You always say you don't,
And cover the hurt with weak smiles
That don't reach your eyes.
But I know you better, and I know you deeply.
You're too kind, too pure to be treated like that.

Third.
You're patient.
You know that perfect things,
No matter how small they are
Or grand they may be,
Will arrive in the right time.
We, of all people, know this.
You're the most special gift
I didn't know I was yearning for.
My sweet, sweet serendipity.

Fourth.
You will never be convinced that cats are better than dogs.
I agree.

Fifth.
You're kind to others, but never to yourself.
You love so unconditionally
That all that's left to you
Are tired eyes and weathered bones.

Sixth.
You are trapped within walls of expectations.
Your bright, burning soul slowly faded
With years worth of sadness.
It took a while before you found yourself.
And when you did,
You were unsure if you liked what you've seen.

Seventh.
Though our hearts are weary,
And our bodies restless,
Know that I will only want you.
Know that I will always need you.
You see through me,
Beyond the superficial,
You saw the deepest, darkest crevices of my soul.
You make me feel things I have never felt before.

There are few things I've realized after we talked.
I love you,
And I will never, ever let you go.

Our paths were never meant to cross.
I was just testing the waters when I caught you staring.
It started something grand and beautiful and exhilarating.
And that should have been the end of this backstory.

But we're just starting and we are still mere strangers
Me falling for you has always been a scary thought
Can you honestly love me?
When you hold my hand and touch my hair,
When you whisper secrets to my ears and make me feel special,
Are those moments real?

People always say that I have these walls around me,
That I am someone who's never gonna let somebody in.
But they never saw how higher and thicker your walls are.
You are so good at hiding what you feel that it made me think
That maybe what I'm feeling is a product of my imagination
A part of my subconscious waiting for someone
Who will try to understand all the layers of my insecurities
Someone who will paint my skin with his warm touches
Someone who will kiss my lips and tell me everything's okay.
Someone who will simply love the complicated me.

I'm giving this a chance
Even though the pessimist in me is screaming,
Telling me to run the opposite direction.
I'm giving you a chance
Because I want to give me a chance
To fall in love and be happy.

Please, do not hurt me.
I'm fine with unrequited love
But please, do not lie to me.
Do not call me at 3AM and tell me you can't sleep without hearing my voice.
Do not tell me you can't imagine your future without me.
Do not promise me these unless you're sure.
Because my heart is fragile and my bones are tired.

I've always been sad but you,
You remind me of the warm sunlight caressing my face.
The butterflies in my stomach awoke with your giddy laughter.
You endlessly surprise me with your actions.
Your smile is my happly place.
You are my happy place.

This.
This is the end of our backstory.
The rest, I hope, will be a beautiful history.

We ran out of things to talk about.
So I sipped my cold coffee instead, waiting for something to happen.
Anything that'll make the entire thing less awkward.
I caught you staring with that goofy smile and that's when I knew
That instead of anything,
Instead of something,
I got everything.

You were with a girl.
I'm not sure if she's just a friend.
Maybe she's more than that.
Maybe her smiles touch your soul gentler.
Maybe her voice soothes the storms in your head.
Maybe her kisses make you feel safe.
I'm not sure.
I don't want to be sure.

You were with a girl.
Maybe this time, I'll stop checking my phone for messages that'll never come.
Maybe I'll stop counting the days since we last talked.
Maybe I won't think of you anymore.
I'm not sure.
But *******, I wanna be.

I can smell it.
Like the musty wind before the devastating hurricane, I can smell it.
I can smell the sadness and the tears from late night musings.
I knew the entire thing is doomed from the beginning.
But like a fool who's used to believing, I held on.
It was too slippery.
I lost my grip.