Saying "I love you"
use to mean something
Not today

What I love about you

Your resilience throughout any kind of weather
makes you the strongest person I know.

The way that your smile infects the crowd
as your carefree spirit constantly gives.

People of all ages flock to your energy
like moth's to a flame.  I sit back
and sometimes watch the way you move.

There's some kind of magic in you
something that all of us crave
maybe the smile, the grace of spirit,
the tears you shed with us or for us

You bring out the best in me
I will love and treasure you always
you are my Earth Angel.
Born from the heavens and gifted
to all those who get a chance to love you.

I was reminded of all these moments
last night
watching you in the crowd
it's like you have a light that shines
I will treasure you always my friend,
your magic is my magic.

We all watched you, letting go of life

It was like life was a chain link fence
and we watched as you spent
your days trying to chew your way through

It always seemed so suffice
you'd smile that smile while embracing the demon
because you still saw hope on the other side

This day was different
so much was lost
the struggle to hard

In silence for five hours
you struggled with the thoughts, pacing back and forth
fighting the voices inside your head
I can see the sweat pouring from your eyes

Today there was no answer, no hope
no fixing the pain inflicted...the sorrow caused
so today, gun in hand...you blew yourself
straight through to the other side

Looking back now seeing you gnaw
at the chain links...I wonder if I could have done more
maybe held you just a minute longer
or listened better with embracing ears

With a tear in my eye, memories intact in my heart
my good byes fall upon your rock hard shell
the chain link fence a symbol of your inner hell

I looked into the eyes of your children
searching for a glimpse of you
but you took that glimmer of joy from them
the minute the gun shot blew

A single Calla Lily is what I dropped on your grave today
a single meaningless gesture on your stone cold grave

Was there ever any one true moment?
(like you'd tell me now)

Was it me on your mind when?
(you know when you said I'd have to earn it)

Did you skip school the day they talked about truth?
(oh, you were ******* your teacher)

Sometimes I just wonder, when I'll quit wondering about "us"
*(never, comes to mind)

Every morning I roll over...grab my phone
I can't wait to see if you have messaged me
then your words invade me, swallowing me whole

"You'll never hear from me again"

The phone is placed at my breast
where my heart beats...hands holding on tight
as I remember the you that I first met, then

"You'll never hear from me again"

At least for today, I will hold you in love and light
as I always have...at least for today
I'll be whispering you to me, wishing you were here until I hear

"You'll never hear from me again"

The morning fades and thoughts of what was
the feelings of what is,  engulf my soul with the touch that is as
soft as a birds feather sweet to the senses...painful remembrance

"You will hear from me again"

When your life gives you moments of silence
When you allow yourself to remember the freedom to be
When you miss the me in you
When your done swearing at the moon

"I'll be here, waiting to hear from you..."

(No Mail)

still

"If you loved me"

How could I love you anymore then I did?

Knowing you existed in this world alone
set my skin on fire
every word you spoke was a holy grail
your breath was mine in a singular life force

"you should have given me a chance to explain"*

No need to explain what was right before my eyes
you see...
they betrayed you not me
your words stung like bathing in a bee's nest
(you even used the word love)

"You see, I do love you"

Can you tell me where it has gotten me?