I breathe in with the rain, sigh with the wind
All is wrong, the sky is white, the clouds blue
Lying in agony, for I have sinned
The color of my pain now changes hue

I beg mercy, my soul becomes blacker
My misery fades but then reoccurs
The world against the world, please just take her
No one's here for anyone, visions blur

I am no one, I am white against white
In constant pain but nowhere to turn to
I give in to my sins, I've lost my fight
Tearful eyes look 'round, the happy are few

Why do I live in a world filled with pain
What the hell's the point, there's nothing to gain

Finding solace
tears to my eyes
joy
sorrow
in something so simple
as a cello or violin
emotions they hurt
but are so lovely
feeling, cherishing each one
for it means I am alive
overcome by it
whispering of trees
a smile
sweet dreams
every sight and sound
screaming its own emotion
hey you!
yes you
I am alive

Running
It's what he does best
running from the loneliness he detest
running from the longings
of love family and friends
running from the loneliness
he hides best
He hides in illusions
and fantasy grandeur and the rest
at least I'm living he attest
I bet you can't catch me
for that's what I do best
so go on and try
and put me to rest
for I long to feel a real lover's embrace
I yearn to experience a true friend's grace
I would love a family who's always there
not wastes of memories floating in the air
Please catch me if you can
cause I am so far gone
please catch me if you can
cause I am tired as hell
tired of the mayhem I've caused in my head

Who would have known I would miss you
All talks of our problems
And even the nonsense
Who would have thought I would miss you
Your faces, your voices, your graces

Who would have known I would miss you
I did not, for all those times I was afraid
All I wanted is to leave, and thought this is insane
  - this is nonsense, it drives me more crazy as it is

Who would like to talk about themselves
Especially their problems and insanities
Who would like to hear others' problems
When it'll only bring up their insecurities

Who would like to talk about themselves
The same problems going on about you
Surely that would be tiring

Who would like to talk about themselves
When you know nobody really cared
So who would have thought I would miss you
Even if these notions are true

Who would have thought I would miss you
Why can't I wait for the next day
The next week, the next date
Will it ever going to be the same day

Who would have thought I would miss you
Eager to hear your voice
Eager to learn more about you
Eager to talk and hear more

But mostly I'm eager to feel your companionship
your friendship's grace
all your smiling faces and your warm embrace

Who would have known I would miss you
I bet you wonder too
But know that I do now
and know that I appreciate you

If I should die
set my soul to rest
speak kindly of me
not my selfishness

tell about my kindness and grace
not the times i'm melancholic and in disgrace
tell about my sweetness and sassyness
not when i was a mess

speak kindly about me
not in disrespect
for i was a human too
who was in process as you

If I should die
I just have one request
set my soul kindly to rest

speak kindly of me
not my selfishness
not like when you let me lived
in this mess

my heart beats faster for you
my heart and mind ache simply for you
is this love or fear i feel
for my thoughts are solely on you

you confuse me so much
i fear you so as such
you bring out the worst in me
gawky inelegant maladroit i am around you
it's nauseating that i am, also without you
it's upsetting, i am revolted at this
is this love or fear i feel about this

my heart beats faster for you
my heart and mind seems to ache
just thinking about you
is this love or fear i feel for you
stranger at day, thief at night
you are to me
for my thoughts are solely on you you see
my heartaches specially for you
is this love or fear i feel about you

Some love to watch the sea bushes appearing at dawn,
To see night fall from the goose wings, and to hear
The conversations the night sea has with the dawn.

If we can't find Heaven, there are always bluejays.
Now you know why I spent my twenties crying.
Cries are required from those who wake disturbed at dawn.

Adam was called in to name the Red-Winged
Blackbirds, the Diamond Rattlers, and the Ring-Tailed
Raccoons washing God in the streams at dawn.

Centuries later, the Mesopotamian gods,
All curls and ears, showed up; behind them the Generals
With their blue-coated sons who will die at dawn.

Those grasshopper-eating hermits were so good
To stay all day in the cave; but it is also sweet
To see the fenceposts gradually appear at dawn.

People in love with the setting stars are right
To adore the baby who smells of the stable, but we know
That even the setting stars will disappear at dawn.

The time will come

When friends will become friends

All will join hands

No matter who they are

Trust will ripple through the crowd

Like a wave in the sea

And we will all become one

I'm floating around,
       Not knowing where to go.
Trying not to think,
       So tears do not show.
Any sign of emotion,
       Will make me blow.
And here I'll stay,
        Way, way below.