The morning I woke up
with grass in my shoes
I came up for coffee

my mother warned me
she said "be careful-"

our women are addicted
And you don't want
to be a girl who
parties every night

she circles the truth

I don't want to be
a rusted empty box car
high-heeled
shot of rumplemintz
lost behind her eyes

but I do want to
be the sort of girl
to wake up with grass
in her shoes

because she was out
all night, walking in
the woods after a volley
ball game at the bar

who loves with her whole
imagination and tries to
illuminate the beauty
all around her, with
the flick of a lighter

who also happens
to drink because
it's veiled poison

and it helps us
understand and forget
and also remember
all the profound pain
the world has caused us


I want to find adventure
on a tuesday night
down a dark path
on a wooden bridge

and to wake up
with all the pieces of
the night resting
in my golden
ballet flats

You are like
the smoke left
on my clothes
after a bonfire

summer’s salty sweet
taste still sticky on
warm skin

you-
are the last breath
of autumn sunset
so pink
once orange
slow to disappear
off the horizon

you’re winter’s
chilly breath
all the way to
the center of
my feeble heart

thump thump thump
like the springtime
again and again

pierce me with your sweet
green dagger

dragonfly wings
unnatural beauty

you my
slow season
breath

my wanton
unforgetting

8 month
long lost
lullaby

sweet girl
how I missed you

late summer
solstace

soul sweeper
secret
goodnight

I’m proud of all the things I don’t know
This morning I woke up
and opened my third eye

and in the simple act
of receiving
the whole world spread
out in front of me

Like the pages of a book
Like a blueprint unfurling
Like a farm fresh golden egg
Like a biblical parting of the skies

Hyperbole?
Maybe,
but it feels like a spark
ignited
a “good morning”

long lost twin
all eyes open

sweet stranger
memory of me

almost long gone
forgotten

hello again
to the me

that sees with her third eye
who leaves a trail of golden
burning pieces

a single sparkler
just waffling all alone
down a dark driveway

in the hand of some innocent kid
such a small burning ember
and capable of such great joy

Once upon a time
we were just broken pieces
under false impression
put together
 
shards that clashed
crashed against
each other
 
(and we called that 
love)
 
spilled our our pain
from tarried pages
off empty screens
 
first we'd drink and smoke
so much so our 
serrated edges
couldn't pop the 
precious glass palace
 
I built around our fragile
naked bodies-
around my naked fragile heart
(and called that love)
 
blanketed oblivion
my swaddled shelter
 
out of a furl of smoke
our stories coiled 
in the cloistered air
of your room
 
and I'd cry on
behalf of your secret pain
 
and I 
called
that 
 
love.
 
sometimes,
our rage would swell
out of
a deep
 
someplace outside us
( ?maybe God Yahweh Jehovah The Universe)
something (w)hole
complete swirl
Surreal 
 
incomprehensible 
and we'd lash-
and retract
 
once I cracked her from
a small shell she'd curled into 
like a millipede 
 
she asked
"why do we do this to each other?"
 
Nothing has ever crushed me
so much as love has crushed me
 
I am still just a splinter
and so is she
 
except I am lost
somewhere in a
crack in the floor
 
and she glitters
 
this whole world
watches her glitter
from her small spot
on the sidewalk

wake to
               people walking
home from after hours kegger
cheeks red
     holding their heels
swinging handbags

brazen voices pierce      through     holey
    screen to fitful
half sleep state

next to an acrid smelling
guitar player
i
stir
  and
   put on
     my coat
decrepit door
c r e a k s on worn hinges

                  sneak through filthy kitchen
littered with plastic cups

reeking of stale sweat
    poured
tequila
           shot
abandoned
along    with sliced
lime and salt   shaker
companions

marijuana inspired chords
l  i  n  g  e  r  
in the air

   take my bottle of Jack from the freezer
dare not drink water
from
the
tap

though head pounds
  just put on   sun
glasses
taking flim-sy
strides to
fair trade

sit outside               in an iron chair
the art on the walls    burns my eyes
adj
usting
2   days   *****
shirt

the barista brings
a  hot  soy     latte
with           cinnamon
sprinkled   on top

          thanks-   i say
she doesn’t        respond

smoke a cig found  in my
purse
who was smoking 27’s?

give a       homeless      man a
quarter on the
way back to my
                   car

he takes it says
     god bless you

the strokes play through
cassette player
    it’s too loud
before noon

don’t buckle  seatbelt
on east wash  
capital                      disappears
from    rearview mirror

until road becomes
hwy 151
   and it
vanishes     behind
            a hill

like i was never here

I often wonder if girls with blonde highlights ever question their individuality
Same as they probably wonder what would possess a female human to shave 3/4 of her head and pierce a hole through the middle of her nose.
It’s not that I think uniqueness is determined by our outward displays of gender and costume choice.
But something about your mall bangs, target brand cardigan, doc martin, cost cutters style tells me you’ve bought into all the corporate ******* the world had to offer.
You opened your eyes out of the womb but the glow of the mcdonalds arc always compromised your vision.
As you flip through your people magazine criticize the body god gave you and so sacrifice your divinity.
Maybe I am the one who is too judgmental but I couldn’t imagine driving around in a minivan without the intense urge to throw myself out.
I couldn’t sell out to a pre-packaged fast-food existence.
A middle-aged hum-drum pass-the-remote
slow death
midwest
art school
dropout misery.

Keep me oddity.
Keep me strange queer girl
and never let me go

I dropped my iphone twice
on bare cement

an action which broke
its protective glass covering

leaving its robot guts
exposed

and several
spiderweb cracks
across its once

pristine electronic
surface

its busted visage
is met with
the gasps of
strangers

WHAT HAPPENED?
the poor thing

never asked to be
treated so poorly

but it found its way
into clumsy hands

who can’t hang on
to anything

hands belonging
to an owner whose
brain can’t comprehend

her own value
let alone the worth
of such a sophisticated
piece of  equipment

I write her name 
in a borrowed book

whisper to the musty pages
"hello"

from the bottom of my lungs
the tippy top of the heart

a vibration
a pulse

just a whisper,
as soft and sweet
as I can

hello
hello-

a silent yellow page
doesn't rustle

I swear the smell
will haunt me forever

I'll never erase that name
and even if she tears out the page

the wind will have to whisper
or howl
goodbye

We are all but

hanging
from
a
thread

as our lips seal
behind thick black string

flesh made raw by shards
of heavy rope

ensnared by echoes of all
opposing voices
seem to come from
all sides-
but are, rather,
those of the
loudest protesters

out of sheer frustration
that we still find
ways to shine

in our music-
angry, spoken word,
**** RIOT
rant filled

in our art-
graffiti on your capital
desecrating your
male saints

streamed through your
safe airwaves
******* up your
perfect hegemony

livening your
boring missionary
bedrooms

bleeding in your
just-washed white
sheets with my girl
friend and her boyfriend

In our poetry-
CAPITALIZED, misspelled,
profane-****-out of syn
tax
without filter
in red paint
on sidewalks
in newspapers
on bookshelves
in magazines
on flyers on
our lips in our
hearts

screaming
crying
laughing
soaring souring
soar-
ing

I want a get matching tattoos
with someone
even if 10 years from now
****, even if 5 years from now
I regret it

I want to propose one night
in the corner of a dimly lit bar
that smells of ***** and cheap
cologne with a twist tie

to see your glassy
eyes tear over
as you slur it,
yes

I want to dive  2 weeks in
headfirst, head over heels

neither of us mutting the obligitory
"let's take it slooow"

I'm so tired of that
**** I'm ready to fall

even if it means
cracking my skull
no diving

this is the shallow end
and I'm crawling towards
the deep

girl get on your knees
please crawl with me

Namaste
The divine in me
recognizes the
divine
in you

the part of me
that ashes her
handrolled cigarette
all down her top
on accident

who wears someone
else's black rimmed
plastic glasses

they're the wrong perscription
but there's no reason
the world shoudn't
appear a little blurry

hearts are farther away
than they may seem

behind the thin
layer of skin
and tissue

the fragile
birdcage frames
that protect them

If I were a zombie
I'd eat hearts instead
of brains

that way I'd know
what it was to taste love

I've had enough of people's
thoughts and opinions

I wanna taste the ache
for a change

and ingest the chambers
that held all your exs
and family
your friends

the divine in me
eats the divine in you

I fell in love
with you for a minute
on a stranger's couch
funny
whip its
with a derby girl
a shameless makeout
sesh
in front of another
lesbian and a couple
strange bodies
disconnected
poetry
and some ***** in
a plastic cup
stolen metal chairs
in various colors
her braids
her shaved head
a symphony
to my defeat
I'm half-way out the door
but I can't get up off
this couch
she's taking my key
and pretty soon my car is gone
my so-called girlfriend
leaves me tearstained
voicemails
but while you're
here your lips
make me forget
every promise
I made this girl
she said
where you go I go
how quickly we forget
when we find ourselves
in the arms of another
and just like everything
else the promise disappears
an evaporated drop of
rain from the side window
of my re-poed car
I need to get that ink off
I need to get inked
to sober up before A.A.
to eat before this adderall
eats my insides
I want to feel a
lot more full
a lot more *******
full
say goodbye
you never knew me
a $2 bus ride
takes me where
I need to be
freezing hands
and the itchy
scars I sliced
into my arm
in the wrong
place the wrong
direction
I was never right to
begin with
a text message at
2AM "stay safe"
that's the extent
to which I'm cared
for
and that's good
enough for me
just so long as I
can afford smokes
and the key to
my car is safely
under the mat

I would rather be known
as that girl who asks
if you want to hear a poem
than that drunk girl at the club

I'm finding that not everyone
will listen, let alone undertsand
when I expose myself to them

pulling back each rib
one at a time
depending on which
poem I choose

I'll lose blood for nothing
they don't even see the
crimson puddle on the floor

but it's there and sometimes
the people I chose to let it
out for aren't even

listening to the poem
some decline the offer
entirely

I'm going to promise myself
right now
there will never be a time
when I would say no

to a glimpse of someone
else's heart

I already feel too far
away from
humanity

often trapped
in what can seem
an artless world

and so I will never
say no

or look away if you
show me yours

I'll show you mine
and pretty soon

our chests are both
exposed

two tortured hearts
the metranome to
our so-called lives.

Good morning strange
Girl just so

you know you
are not
Accidental

You were
carefully planned
By some maker

Not to sound religious
I don't need your bible

I know I have to
Leave you alone

You said "I am
So depressed"

You're right and
I know I'm no good

But still when we
Looked at the sky

And stumbled on
The sidewalk

And shared
A stolen kiss

Something deep
Down in that
Place only I know

Flipped switches
It's on beautiful

And I would whisper
It in your ear
Every day
If you would let me

Someone so talented and
Deep avoids the crazy I
Have to offer

But I can't help but
Kiss you

and trust me girl
This never happens

But when I
Woke up

I saw your face
In my mind's eye

You make me want
To dive

And I know it
Seems shallow

Come on Babe
Just jump

On the count of 3
Come in with me

Hands clasped
No regrets

Always
I am too open
And I know you can't

But while we're in I will
Do my best

To teach you
How to swim

preemptive strike
batting zero

i don’t want to walk
this one

i want a homerun
covered in dirt and
sweat because i
slid on home

yeah that’s where
my mind goes
when i dream about you

i’ve already picked
out our anthem

and i haven’t even
kissed you yet

girl
let’s take over
the world

right now
come on

what’re we waiting
for

and you got me
thinking that

maybe we just might
it isn’t a promise

it’s a threat

it may not be
forever but at
least it’s a start

i’m swinging
with my eyes closed

hoping just
hoping i’ll
hear that

crack
smack
connect

like a firework
point to the sky
and maybe with
you

i’ll hit it out of the park

you are like
a brand new butterfly

the anchor tattoos
on your legs
weigh you down
in your cocoon

I catch brief
glimpses of you

on your lips
and in your sweet

sleepy expression
tangled in the
sheets next
to me

you hold the pain
of the past

in the clarity
of your eyes

but you look
away so quickly

like you're
afraid I
might see
through-

to the core of you
that sacred space

where you keep
your wings
furled around you

you're waiting
to fall

and I'm expecting
you to fly