i am not where
or who
i thought i'd be
today

the skies are blue
a chill is in the air
i work as i wait
for my subject
to appear

it's not the subject
i thought i'd be
studying

that one is far far away
in so many ways
i ponder the
meaning of this

partly out of control
partly by choice
it's the choice bit
that stings

with no declaration
of reason
i find myself
searching my
seemingly endless
landscape of flaws

occasionally i pause
and see the wonder
that only those flaws
can create
and think the loss
is misplaced

i may not be where or who
i thought i'd be today
but i am where and who
i am to be

see saw seen
dance danced danced
speak spoke spoken
wait waited waited
come came ***
wait waited waited
hear heard heard
laugh laughed laughed
share shared shared
come came ***
speak spoke spoken
smile smiled smiled
waited waited waited
go went gone

you
no
longer
exist
or
at
least
that's
the
idea

we spent the morning
reveling in the sun's warmth
listening to the birds

white cat sits purring
atop freshly washed black clothes
the best place of course

in
noisy
elation
escaping
doom
and
boredom
earnestly
aware
under
­trees
in
full
understanding
life's
full
accent
candid
ears
taunt
­oration
slowly
insight
tears
other
nights

i did it
i clicked the button
that stops
it from hurting

or at least
i hope it does

right now
i feel much better
now i can concentrate
full blast on other things

pressure off
disrespect gone
time wasting....

well, at least redirected

she grows weary
the answers come
and go
and change
and don't

fullfillment
hope
ever present
and ever fleeting
both of us
caught up in
momentary
bouts
of all things
positive
and all things
negative

comforted by
the hands resting
on my neck
gently proclaiming
trust
love

this remains
one of the
few
gifts of
stability

butterflies
only live
for a month

the hair
the hair
it moved back and  forth

it covered
and  revealed

enhanced and concealed

what was fake
and what was real

abandonded
and controlled

up
down
shorn
crowned

it shimmered
with every
beam
of light

caught every ray
and captured every
imagination

causing a movement
from deep within
that could not be stopped

in
noisy
elation
escaping
doom
and
boredom
earnestly
aware
under
­trees
in
full
understanding
life's
full
accent
candid
ears
taunt
­oration
slowly
insight
tears
other
nights