will we ever be friends again

strangers
who know each other

I still remember your favorite song

listening to it
reminds me of all our lost letters

you left
and I waited

we don't get along

you're air

I'm water

we don't need each other

I can never reach you

why are you leaving me

slipping through my fingers

was anything ever real

were you happy with me

did i imagine all our love and connection

it depends

I'm either too little
or too much

never enough

to keep anyone

no one stays for long

I can't exist in your presence anymore

I don't belong anywhere

I feel like a curse

bad luck follows me everywhere I go

I ruin everyone I touch

I used to be a good person

ever since I lost my soul

I eat everyone else's

my anxiety is killing me
inside out

even as I watch the world fall and crumble
I can't help but hate myself

pathetic and lonely

I can see all my enemies laughing

yet
I refuse to give them the satisfaction
seeing me dead in a casket

even if I grow old and miserable
I want them to know
I walk with my head high

I'm so empty
I barely care about anyone or anything

I'll have to thank them for keeping me alive

staying up late to feel my teeth crumble under the sugar in this wine
watching scary things on the television wondering why in the dark, I think the shadows might be out to get me.
I dont know what I think they are or why they scare me. Do they even scare me?
Left unfinished, playing in the background, the scary tv shows become my night light so i dont have to think about the shadows in the dark

each step closer cracked the earth
dry, dusty breaths burned my lips
hot air seared my lungs

i can’t make it
i won’t

his eyes a deep, refreshing pool
cool breezes flowing out of reach
his smile beckoned like a rainbow

i can’t make it
i won’t

the sky is fire raining sparks
only he can quench my thirst
smoke pours from my mouth as i call to him

i can’t make it
i won’t

rain falls from his lips
my name a clap of thunder
his love a dark cloud

i can’t make it
i won’t

the cracked soil fills with water
mud rushed to my knees
skin sizzles in the flood

i can’t make it
i won’t

his eyes darken to mud
his arms raise the winds
his smile falters to lightening
water up to my neck
i lose sight of my oasis
i drown dying of thirst

i can’t

“Why do you fear the stars?” He asked, his hands in my hair.
“Because as they fall
They burn their brightest,” I said.

‘And what if you’re not there to catch me?’ I thought as his lips met mine.