I got a princess bed
when I was four.
It has a canopy
I used to swing on the bars.
Since then, they've been bent.

The very first night you slept in my bed
You said
"here"
and you pushed up on those bars
and you fixed them

after 13 years
of broken
and bent
you came along.
you made it seem like
nothing was ever wrong.

kiss me
like you mean it
before you go
like you'll miss me
when I'm gone

I kiss you
like it will be our last
because I miss you when I go

Your voice
I want it.

your affections
your flirtations
all of your observations.

your voice
the soundtrack of my happiness  

your whispers
your confessions
your laughs
your mouth curled into a smile.

I'm so terrified
that you are my everything
that I'm just another girl, mad for you.

the ache of loneliness
isn't so bad
when you aren't
completely
alone.

but when you're trapped
in a world
alone...

but when you hide
so no one
else
feels hurt...

when
your pain
could tear apart
someone you love...

but when it all
rests
on
your
shoulders...

the craving
the starving, craving
aching
urgency to be high
on your drug of *choice.

Please
not tonight.
I just want to cry
and lay in your arms.

but I want you to miss me
so I will be someone I am not.

but only because I'm afraid
that you won't miss me
if I don't.
and you really won't miss me
if I cry.

what I miss is the days I could be myself fearlessly.