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Madison McCray Dec 2014
my bones are weakening
and my spine can not accompany
the weight your name carries
along every turn and edge
within my fragile whole
for I traced your name along
the parts of myself I could not
hold together
you gave me a meaning to life
that made a lot more sense
than the plan I had imagined
without you here my body aches
in all the empty spots
you no longer occupy
a stream of tears and loss of words
now haunts the place where I always found myself looking for you
leaving me here to feel
more cold and alone than ever before
and if it is to be as true as you say
meaning my existence is very well numb to you
I'll now allow myself to believe
the love was only one sided
you were nothing but a human toxic
eating at my very own soul
and I allowed you in
but never more will this continue
I'll learn to manage fine without
like the nicotine my body craves
you were only another tempting withdraw
Madison McCray Dec 2014
our relationship was built poetically
allowing our deepest thoughts to tear us apart
for I was fragile you touched my soul gently
in hope to save ourselves from future part
together enduring a graveled road
a chance for love was rather difficult
the opportunities came in quite a load
all that failed was at my fault
though your absence was my only fear
I opened the door that let you walk
now glancing back into the mirror
they were my mistakes that you would mock
my love for you has grown to be
more than just a poetic melody
Madison McCray Dec 2014
it's three am that I hate most,
a time where all my feelings
drain from my sinful soul,
allowing the darkness to retrieve it's way back into the vast space,
when memories flood the page
and my chest caves from
the damage you've done to my heart,
three am is the time where my life
falls out of place
and I loose control of all emotion,
my mind is screaming and heart is racing
I hope and dream for any way out
but I'm stuck living in the everlasting hole my chest occupies
that continuously swallows me in
night by night,
always at three am
Madison McCray Dec 2014
How do I escape from this
the fire is rapidly increasing
Just a little dust particle, I am
Waiting for my turn to end
I can feel the heat on my skin,
Panic shows no way out
all that I have come to know,
Is crumbling beneath me now
I have lost all my breath
Every inch has gone up in flames
You were who I chose to save,
you made it out okay
As for I, with nothing left
Turned into a pile of ash
Maybe someday you'll realize that
You're the reason I burned to death
Madison McCray Nov 2014
I promised myself
I'd let this be the last time
I'd ly between the sheets,
our relationship grew upon
Wearing your T-shirt
And favorite shorts of my own,
dreading over what could have been
I'd stop thinking about
What you're doing now
And realize what I should
Be doing
I won't worry about
The next girl to steal your heart
Or try to bandage
The one you broke
I promised myself
After tonight
Ill change my sheets
And buy new shorts
Ill treasure the future instead
of dread
Ill pick myself up
And I will move on,
After one last night of missing you
Madison McCray Nov 2014
We both agreed on
An apartment in the city
Where we'll be able
to full fill a lifetime,
Together
Reaching every want and need
The two of us shall encounter
having time left to get lost
In the ocean of experience
mixing my love with yours
in a blender of rejoice
because that's all I've ever wanted
Just you and the city
Madison McCray Nov 2014
I don't know when my feelings
Amounted to the level they are now
Or when such curiosity
turned into an absolute factor
In my every day life, but
Suddenly sunshine turned into snow
And I caught myself falling
In love with the cold
Long sweaters became my
Daily attire
And hot chocolate turned into
The liquor my body craved
I found warmth entangled
Within my sheets
And comfort in the lining
Of my walls
There's something about the way
Candles flicker
and cinnamon smells in winter
that sings home sweet home
louder than any boom box
Could play
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