Perhaps I'm not the only
who fears what I'll become
Has anyone else considered
Their plan is already done
A destiny chose for them
One they'll never truly know
It won't be until the end
When they are answered yes or no
Subconsciously I am lost
Afraid of being ******
with all the luck my soul has claimed
I'll chose the path that's wasn't planned

it's 11:11 and I have nothing left to wish for
my life has turned into a cascade of broken promises
and a million shutting doors
my walk has become illegible to emotion
along with my filthy writings you seem to love
at times I confuse my dreams with reality
in hope for one to better
I'm living in a nightmare that I cannot awake from
and the thought of that sends chills down my spine
because happiness was the piece of me he shattered
I have only longed for a time of rejoice
but instead found myself emotionally distressed
I now know that even a wish couldn't save me
from the sorrow and pain I feel tonight

I'm at a loss of words
each and every time
I try to write about you
you have complete control
over all emotion
in my body
I crave your love
more than any addiction
I've come to known
there's something about you
that I attach myself to
an unbreakable connection
I'm falling for oh so quickly
because
life without you
doesn't seem to be an option
but if it were to end that way
all rapture would be destroyed
my body more fragile
than before
and all this time I'd wish
I'd spent it with you more

I never planned for my wrist to match
the color of my nails
nor did I expect myself to paint
the lungs of my own
my favorite shade of color
but like my father once said
when I was just a little girl
life goes on
one day my flesh will ly beneath
the ground you walk
and there will be little to no
memories left
of your name carved into my skin
or my blackened lungs
from the poison you taught me to love
it will all seem so distant
and one day
the existence of myself
will be nothing but a dream
to you and for I