Madison Brooke: Favorites

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

Riley Ayres

Crystallised syllables.
Words fall from harsh tainted lips,
like a syllable of crystallised black,
Caressed at the touch of fingertips,
encouragement seems to lack.

A heart of steel encased within,
the shattered depicted glass,
I pray that you forgive my sin,
End this forever song fast.

Your life is plainly satisfactory,
demeaning in all you do,
waterfalls of crimson refractory
broken, diminished, by you.

Wicked and nocturnal eyes,
return your weary gaze,
reflections hard to visualise,
incentives gone for days.

Leave emotion to drown itself,
in this scarlet river abyss,
place your feelings on the shelf,
and give me one last kiss…

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

Better Late Than Never

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

A B Perales

Better Late Than Never

I once spent an
entire summer with
a black eye.
Proving the fact that
I was young and willing to
try.

We drank hard in those
days.
Back when it all was used to
enjoy.
When the alcohol was a social
thing and the
drugs were just a little late
night activity among the
chosen few.

We don't move in packs
like that anymore.
And those of us who still
indulge do it alone
or in order to cope.

I'm trying to pin point
that moment,
that final event,
that final failure that turned it
all so bad.
So destructive.

I'm feeling the effects of the
abuse.
That missing chapter.
The surgeries.
The fact that it took so much
to finally realize
the price I've paid
for my own
self inflicted,
blameless,
foolish
ways.

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

God's love is... (part 3)

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

ren

God's love is... (part 3)

I feel a blanket of warmth
Over both of us
And I feel all these people
Trying to make me feel better
Are nothing but instruments
In which God tries to express His love to me.
I think of all the things in my future
And all the things I have ahead of me
And I can't think of a place on Earth
That I'd rather be,
That I would rather have my children be
Because when my baby is fifteen years old
And crying on the ground,
I want your children
Around comforting her
And I want your child to be there
Making jokes about her
Trying to make her laugh
And I want there to be that girl
In her math class who stands up to the kids
Making fun of her
For not understanding the problem.
I want that girl to be just like you
When we are sitting a desk apart
Laughing at the lesson together
Though we're hardly friends outside the class.
You make me feel alright
Because you are God's love for me.
God's love is that boy
Who is as much my brother as my real brothers,
Is that girl who smiles at me in the hallway,
Is the friend that tells me I look nice
When I try to.
You are God's love when you make faces
At me through the window
That separates our classrooms.
You are God's love when
You hit my shoulder in a brotherly way
As your choir sings about
Having a shoulder to cry on.
And though it may seem impossible
I know that I am surrounded by all these people
Who are God's love
And I hope that I am too.

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

God's love is... (Part two)

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

ren

God's love is... (Part two)

When I look at things I used to care about
(And I suppose I still do care about them,
In a way I could never be able to explain),
And feel nostalgia
For my old feelings;
For the way I felt about you,
I think of sitting unhappily
In the corner of the room,
Trying to read God's words
(But my tears blur them),
And I look up to see you there
You're still there
(You're always there),
And you sigh at me,
Not knowing how you feel
Because how could you possibly?
I make a face at you through my tears
Because I am brave
And I want to lose myself in making you happy
(Not only because I'm told it will make me happy)
But also because I genuinely and sincerely
Want you to be okay
Because I cannot imagine the way
You must be feeling
And all I do know is that
You are the sweetest thing,
Coming up to me and trying to make me feel okay
And we comfort one another
In an effort to feel okay.
Before I can ever truly feel upset
You're making me feel better
And I know that humiliation and self-hate
Have no power on me
When I feel the love God has for me
And for you.

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

God's love is... (part one)

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

ren

God's love is... (part one)

In times like this
When I've been run over by a truck
Carrying all my worries
And I'm lying on the concrete
Feeling empty and hollow,
Wondering why on earth
These things would happen to me;
Why it hurts so badly
To watch all these people I love feel
Such terrible and tragic feelings
And never being able to escape
Feeling any of it,
I think of resting in your car
As you're taking me home.
Though the day has been so stressful
And I'm not sure how I possibly survived
The frustration and humiliation
I'd just endured,
I feel nothing nothing but whole
As Coldplay is dancing out of your speakers
And we're singing along;
Our minds far away,
Thinking of other things.
We feel just fine.
In fact, we feel nothing but
Whole
And alive
And okay,
Knowing in the end
The only important thing is the way we feel
At this moment.
I find myself wishing I could feel this way always
Because there aren't any better feelings
Than feeling whole and complete.

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

For Jude

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

ren

For Jude

There are the kinds of friendships
You make in kindergarten
With the girl in piggy tales
And a missing front tooth
That last for a dozen years,
Through your parents divorce
and your first heartbreak
your awkward stage
And all your embarrassing moments
And those kinds of friendships
Are wonderful
And can be filled with so much good
Until you grow up and grow apart
And fade into nothing but
Used-to-be's
And leftover promises.
But the best kinds of friendships
Don't last til graduation
Or maybe even until the fall.
The best kinds of friendships
Are spontaneous
And free.
The best version of a person is
The one you have
For the fleeting moments
Of hot summers in little towns
Rope swings and canals
Zip lines and lazy hours spent
Cuddling in front of the tv.
The best version of a person
Is the version you only get briefly
The version you meet and probably
Only know for a few weeks at most
The friends that you make in
Ten seconds flat
With your best friends cousin
Or that girl at summer camp.
Those are the moments
And the people worth living for.

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

The Edge

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

Theia Gwen

The Edge

I made a comment about jumping off a building the other day
And you looked at me and said "You shouldn't joke about suicide."
And I completely agreed, suicide is not a joke
But little did you know, I wasn't joking
And even though I smiled as I said it,
I silently begged you to see behind it
And pull me far, far away from the edge
Before I fell where no one could reach me
Because their is a huge difference between wanting to die
And wanting to **** yourself
It can make the difference between life and death
And I'm afraid I've gotten to the point
That I might just want both

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

Where is your mind, when it wanders? (feb.2013)

Jan 2014 Madison Brooke

ren

Where is your mind, when it wanders? (feb.2013)

They say if you want to know
Where your heart is,
Look what's on your mind
When it wanders.
I wonder where your heart is.
I wonder if,
When you lie under your blankets at night,
You think of me.
I know that's where you'll always be;
In my heart,
Tucked snugly into my thoughts.
Lately I've been busying myself
With other things.
For the first time since we began,
I've been focusing on other things.
Before, I'd physically be in class,
Or in dance lessons,
Or eating dinner,
But mentally, I was with you.
Now, for the first time in a long time,
I'm forcing myself to mentally be
Where I physically am,
Because the less I think of you,
The less I hurt.

This morning I lay in bed for hours.
And thought about you, for hours.
My mind helplessly wandered
As I reminisced each of our memories.
How did it all end?
Though it's over now,
Things never fully ended for me.
I still want you.
I still need you.
I still think about you.
I'd still do anything for you.

Sometimes I wonder
If it hasn't really ended for you either,
Though you said it did.
Sometimes I get physically ill
Because I miss you so much.
I go through withdrawals,
Like a drug addict.
Don't you miss me, dear?
At all?
I don't know how it could be over
So easily for you,
Especially since
Nothing ever really went wrong.

I know that my heart is with you.
I know that now.
And I hope with all of my heart
That one day I'll find
That your heart is with me too.