I make lists
to organize my life into lines
on a page
some lists are for groceries
others for wishes
I make lists of "to do's"
for the satisfaction of crossing them off
I scribble thoughts onto paper in the late hours of the night
I make lots of lists
of things I'm grateful for
of goals still awaiting their accomplishment

to remind myself I exist

I guess it's also a form of obsessive compulsiveness
that comes with not knowing who you are
or being unsure of where you're going
I make lists
to slowly, deliberately, write myself into a person

No more sadness
no more fear,
I'm going to sail
away from here.

I've waited long enough,
the time has come
for me to stop
feeling numb

I leave the harbor,
& begin to feel!
first breeze through my hair,
it fills my sail

The sun warms my face
& then my breast,
the familiar weight is taken
from my chest

Out here,
I am finally free
nothing is holding me back
& I can just breathe

Many hurt people
have slowly built a wall. 
Mine has a moat around it
and stands 90 feet tall

Each brick is a lesson
I learned the hard way
The moat I just keep there,
to scare others away 

I don't mind living here,
I am never alone.
I have all my music
& my dragon named Stone

Stone laughs at all my jokes
& accepts all my flaws
He gently wipes my tears
with his clumsy dragon paws

Stone understands me
more than I do myself
I'm always trying to find me
through all the books on my shelf 

Sometimes I want to leave this place 
but I forgot to build a door 
So together me and Stone 
go above the clouds & soar

It's nice up there,
I feel so free
Nothing to hide
my silly friend & me

Maybe someday I'll leave 
my little sanctuary
Maybe I'll find some courage, 
but I tend to believe the contrary

This is me loving you. 
This is my love serving as a buoy
A little reminder
That you can never let yourself swim
Further than our tender hearts can bear

This is me loving you. 
This is my love serving as a life preserver
A little reminder 
That you can never let yourself drown 
When I am diving in to catch you 
(Always)

This is me loving you. 
This is my love attempting to save you.