My eyes no longer glazed
Clarity is coming back
I know I don’t seem fazed
But it’s hard to stay on track
One month doesn’t seem long
But you should be proud
Your demons are wrong
But why are they still so loud?

Repeating patterns from not long ago
Seeing my past as my future self
I can stop I know
I can put it all on a shelf
But that means I have to let you go
Something I’m afraid to do
Love isn’t what this is
I think you know it too

You are what I want
He will no longer haunt
My dreams or my thoughts
Being chased
But not afraid
Of being caught

You make me feel warm
Craving your touch
Love in some form
I no longer use a crutch
Or put up my walls
Trusting what’s above
You touched my heart
And made me see colors again

Reaching for your hand
You grab mine and squeeze it tight
Loving you is where I always land
Even if it isn’t right
Because I’m not sure how you feel
You might not at all
It’s not right to steal
Someone’s heart as they fall

My mom wonders why I try to fix guys
That I’ve been with, “in love”
Is what it starts with
Then I’m left broken and tired
But my mom used to drink
Herself to sleep
She would turn up her tv
To drown out her tears
Drowning in the pain my father gave her
I was 17 when I started
To numb my own hurt
And stopped loving myself
Because I thought my love would fix others
I gave it all away so quickly hoping no one else would feel this pain
Turns out self-love is the remedy
And giving it away to those who don’t reciprocate
Will ultimately lead you to a road
That is dark and dangerous
Like my brain before
I’m growing fond of myself again
Loving every part
Scars, broken hearts
The things we inherit
From our parents
I don’t think they meant
To send it
But it’s here
And I will leave it behind me
For the path I’m on now
Leads to light and elation
Peace is how you get there

We talked for a little today
The first time in ages
Thinking about your lips
Moving on came in stages
Stage one, I was sad
Then came stage two
It wasn’t that bad
Stage three I thought I’d be okay
I was a little less sad
That’s when I thought I’d say
Something and reach out
Now I guess I’m at four
Not sure what this one’s about
All I know is I’m not sad anymore