the house is quiet
bodies without hearts
but we can imagine the beating
and you're here

and it's still quiet
but a different kind

she had long hair
that fell like ragweeds
across skin of soil
measuring deep.
the water came and eroded her lips away
and the seaweed got stuck in her throat
so she looks on with wide owl eyes
silent as falling snow.

you told me this summer
that everyone leaves you
so i kept my promise to stay
by your side
leaves started falling from the autumn trees
each time to remind me
how much you gave up on me
now its a faint winter
and im trying to to understand
how people can leave you
as fast as seasons change

is there a difference between love
and lust? if you saw it would you
know it?

is there a difference between faith
and trust? if you saw it would you
snort it?

I want to smoke the rain
until my lungs gasp for air
until my hands turn blue
and instead of blood
I will have water sifting
through my veins

so when you hold me tight
I can drown you in the fog
that consumes me
entirely and thoroughly
and even though our
physical realm has crumbled
may our dream realities
coexist
and intertwine
like wool yarn,
knitting socks for
all the questions I
remembered not to ask

“How can you fall in love so easily?”

or more importantly,

“How can you just stop?”

i just want the road to feel real again
i want to feel the cold of the snow and weep
i want to sob, hard
and reattach.

laughing
touching sun rays
with bare feet
bare promises
with no spine
crushed and dragging
leaving a trail of scarlet
dying beautifully,
if you look at me
i'll die beautifully.

i am cracked ribs when it's
raining and the road
is slick
with car oil-
car crashes.
stinking rubble,
the bottle of oxycontin
that rests by your bed,
cold dead feet motionless in the morgue.
i am the graceless stroke of a violin
in unpracticed hands,
the rip rip ripping of a dress
torn off,
the chill in winter breath.
you are the sun that found me
fixable,
not hopeless
or yellow addiction.
you were the cast that healed my broken
bones
piecing back together my
fragmented whole.

everybody talks about their boys
like they're daisy chains
or paper dolls
nearly identical and
dispensable
but for me there's only
you.