it was stale bubblegum
it was a bouquet of paper flowers
it was my favorite latte in a styrofoam coffee cup
and all it did was make my teeth ache

it's three months later
and the tune of our love
still echoes through the labyrinth
of my prozac-poisoned cerebrum

it's the sound of rainy evenings
in whitewashed suburban neighborhoods
overwhelming me
as it ricochets off the cold stone

it's the ghost of your hand
holding mine so tight
and it feels like home
as I stand here alone

even as the symphony changes key
to red hair and bright blue eyes
the cadence of you
still rings in my mind

i accused you
of clinging on to the remains
of a girl since passed
but now i find my fingers wrapped tight around your cold hands
and your eyes
once a million shades of green
are now reminiscent of grey
and they haven't met mine in months

my hope no longer breathes
no longer lives
no longer loves
no longer tells me it's mine under bridges downtown
my hope has been reduced to a slip of paper
a magazine cutout
on a collage on my bedroom wall

as the clouds cover the moon
on one last summer night
i'll watch the stars die
before they dance from my sights
i'll lay here in silence
and i'll feel you wash over me again
because in this moment
i feel celestial

take me apart
peel away my flesh
strip me down to the bone
and devour me
let our bodies become one
on these worn out sheets

take me apart
put all the broken pieces
in a ceramic bowl
and dump it in the trash
replace it with lust
and let's call it love

take me apart
let me feel you
give me touch
kiss me, grab me
give me a taste of you

let all our destruction
pour out of our systems
and fuse in the stale air
so that then you can put me
back
together
again

you tell me
most people call you only
by your first name
it's just mary, you said
it's just mary

i'm not strong enough for another loss
i can't lose someone else i adore
but i adore you more
than anyone before
and i can't afford to subject myself
to that breed of hell again
but i'll carry you across the coals
and leave my sandals behind

i'm still in repair, my love
i know you know
and i know you care
but i'll peel off the bandages
and i'll show you the scars
and i'll give trust another chance
for you
for you

but no matter what happens
and no matter what we decide
i promise
i swear
i will still call you
by both names